Most of us in small churches (big churches, too) deal with losing students as they get older. Sixth or seventh graders come into our youth ministries with lots of excitement. A few years later, high school sophomores begin to disappear. We plan activities and can’t seem to motivate our older students to get involved. They opt out of going to camp and are working part-time jobs on Sunday morning.

Why does it happen? Several reasons. Students lives are busy. They have more activities to choose from than ever before in their lives. Students are more mobile. Once they get a drivers license, they are no longer dependent on parents to drive them around. Students feel the need for money. Maybe for dates; maybe for college. Part-time jobs may make them choose between working on Friday night and missing the football game and working on Sunday morning and missing church. Students want to see themselves as independent adults and youth groups often make them feel like kids. Students may have a “been there, done that” feeling, since a 16 year old has been able to participate in everything the youth group offers since he was 12.

No easy answers to this problem exist, but let me suggest a couple of things that I think are helpful. First, create opportunities for older students to have greater status in the youth ministry because of their age and experience. For example, ask them to be team leaders for your mission projects; allow them to lead part of the Bible study on Sunday. Ask them to organize a game for your fun times.

Second, give them experiences in ministry that excite their imagination. When I was at a big church in Nashville, we took graduating seniors on an international mission trip every summer. Little churches can’t do that? Actually, it may be easier for us. Two years ago, I took our one graduating senior on a mission trip to Ukraine. It was an amazing trip for both of us and changed his perspective on God’s movement in the world. The church helped with the cost.

Third, help students find their place in the church . . . even if it isn’t in the youth ministry. Last year, we graduated a student who seldom came to youth ministry events. However, she had invested more than a year in helping with preschoolers. It is a ministry she loved and kept her growing and learning in her own faith. One of our juniors, Adam, plays the base in our praise band. He is plugged into the youth ministry, but his real love is hanging with the four or five musicians that lead worship on Sunday morning. God has used his love for music to help him grow in Christ.

As parents allow older students to begin to make their own choices about church, some will opt out. It is a great disappointment. However, our call as youth leaders is not a call to get kids to our activities. It is a call to invest in the spiritual lives of students. Don’t let the fact that students don’t show up at your fun night mean that you quit investing in them. Pray for them. Encourage them. Confront them with humility and love. Speak words of truth into their lives. Your relationship may be what God uses to draw them to himself.