A lot of discussion in youth ministry these days surrounds the role of family. Excellent topic. Some suggest that if parents do their job in raising their youth to follow Christ, no reason would exist for doing youth ministry. Youth leaders have often taken the role I believe God gave to parents as the primary discipler of young people. However, the idea that youth ministry would be unnecessary if parents took up that role is a significant misunderstanding of the role of youth ministry in the church.

In his book, Passing on the Faith, Merton Strommen suggests four roles the church must fulfill if parents hope to do the job of discipling their teenagers.

First, the church must provide training, support, and resources to parents as they lead their families. Small churches may be overwhelmed with the task. Small group leaders of adults may be able to help. If they have experience in discipling their own teenagers they can share their experiences. Certainly they can share biblical truths. Pastors can teach parents about their role and responsibility in discipling their teenagers. However, many leaders of adults are as puzzled by the activities and attitudes of young people as the parents themselves. As youth leaders, we add an important dimension to the discussion. We are (or should be) students of youth culture and adolescent development. We have developed strategies and skills for communicating God’s truth to teenagers. We need to share the things we are learning with parents. We function like cultural missionaries who study the culture we are trying to reach and then suggest strategies to those who will do the parents who will do the hard work of daily ministry with adolescents.

Second, the church must provide an extended family for teenagers. The role of the youth leader is not the same as the parent. However, we can and should become spiritual aunts and uncles, older siblings in Christ, and even spiritual grandparents. While the church has always been a faith family, that dynamic has never been more greatly needed than it is in the American church today. Few families live close to extended family. And often the extended family teenagers spend time with lack the spiritual commitment of the teenager and his family.Teenagers should find faith family in the church regardless of how well or how poorly their parents live out a commitment to God at home.

Third, the church must provide a consistent, comprehensive approach to Bible study for young adults. We fail at this task when our Bible studies become more like 1960′s rap sessions. Lots of good feelings are fostered, but teenagers leave as unequipped to live out the call of God as when they entered. Yes, students need to study the Bible with their parents at home, however the church has a responsibility to provide a solid understanding of the story of Scripture for teenagers.

Fourth, the church must provide an alternative peer group that will reinforce their faith. Parents are the strongest long-term influence on the lives of teenagers today. However, to say that their peer group does not exert a significant influence on teenagers is to approach youth culture with incredible naivete. Teenagers are much more likely to fall prey to the temptations that plague youth culture in this country when they are surrounded by peers who have no spiritual background. Teenagers are developing in their ability to understand, apply, and lead related to spiritual truth. When they lack friends who are also struggling to make the right decisions, failure is more likely. In youth ministry, we don’t do activities simply to entertain teenagers. We do activities to develop strong friendships among teenagers, friendships that are founded on experiences with the Almighty God. Youth ministry can fail at this task and be just another place for kids to get in trouble. But the failure of youth ministry in some churches hardly means we should ignore the need.

If parents would do their job, would we need youth ministry? Yes. In fact, I would argue that youth ministers cannot adequately focus on our job unless parents do their.