I remember sitting in this 7th grade speech class. The class only lasted about nine weeks. It was pass/fail. And all we had to do to pass the class was present an acceptable speech to the class. The teacher spent our class time explaining how to come up with a topic, how to prepare a speech, and how to present it. Then, it came time to give our speeches. The summer before, my grandmother had taught me how to make ceramics, so I had planned a speech that explained how to make a ceramic dish. As the time for my speech drew near, I listened to one classmate after another say he or she hadn’t prepared a speech. The teacher reminded us that we would fail the class unless we presented a speech. When she called my name, I froze. It took me a minute to say anything. Finally I said, “I don’t have a speech.” It was the only class I ever failed. To make it more ironic, I ended up majoring in Speech Communications in college. Why do I share this story? As I was thinking about this experience, I suddenly recalled some of the fears of being a middle schooler. Maybe those of us in youth leadership need to stay in touch with those kinds of experiences.

Why didn’t I give the speech? I can remember two reasons.

First, I didn’t think what I had done was good enough. When I compared my simple efforts to the research some of my classmates had done, I realized that my speech was not going to be nearly as good. I think this is a common experience for younger teenagers. They often lack confidence that their efforts will be acceptable. They may not want to answer a question you ask in Bible study because they are afraid their answers will be wrong . . . or worse, stupid. They hesitate to share the Gospel with a friend because they are afraid they will mess it up, get it all wrong, look stupid. How do we address those insecurities with younger youth? Take things slow. Don’t stress if a middle schooler doesn’t answer a simple Bible question right away. Ask some yes/no questions. Lead them to the answer slowly. Then, affirm them for their answers. Don’t flatter them. They will see through hollow flattery. Look for things they do well and affirm them for those things. Let them watch you do new things before you ask them to try it. Admit that you sometimes fail and help them to see you comfortable with times you mess up.

The second reason I didn’t give my speech in that 7th grade class was that I was afraid other students would make fun of me. The teacher would have kept students from making cruel jokes at my expense while we were in class, but I would have been at the mercy of my buddies . . . and worse, the kids who didn’t like me . . . in the hallways and bathrooms and lunch room. Sometimes you will see a young teenager who is comfortable with the group and talks openly in class suddenly clam up when a visitor he knows from school shows up. He may be afraid of ridicule. The truth is, the fear is probably not without reason. Younger teenagers can be cruel with each other. How do you deal with that? I think the best thing you can do is understand. Don’t insist that students have the courage to speak up in class or participate in the drama. Give them time to develop the courage on their own. Be careful that you don’t ask them to do things that will be too much of a risk. When I ask students to do drama, I usually try to set it up as a stupid situation that allows them to act as goofy as they want. Oddly enough, younger youth almost never get ridiculed for acting goofy. They are more likely to get ridiculed for being serious.

Younger youth will grow by taking risks. I probably would have learned something about courage by doing my ceramics speech (although it would have robbed me of the opportunity to write this article). We need to encourage students to do hard things. But even as we do that, we need to be aware of the world of younger adolescents. Challenge them, but let them try new things a little at a time. And keep believing in them when they back out the first couple of times they are asked to try something hard. Raise the bar for them, but help them to find the steps to get over it.