We used to act like it was good enough to get teenagers to show up at church. At least if they were at our church lock-in, they weren’t at a beer party. For most of us, that is not enough. We know that real ministry with youth involves a deep relationship with a caring adult that points a young person to a deep relationship with God. We are believers in relational youth ministry. I just read Richard Ross’ new book, Student Ministry and the Supremacy of Christ. He challenges what most folks teach as relational youth ministry . . . and I think you will be interested in what he has to say.

The traditional approach to relational youth ministry is one-to-one ministry. It involves you, as a caring youth minister, investing in the life of a student. Not bad, huh? But the truth is, you cannot give students everything they need in terms of spiritual mentoring. Even if you had a youth group of one, you simply aren’t enough.

Ross has suggested that we look at youth ministry as a five-to-one relational ministry. Every teenager needs at least five adults who are pouring themselves into his life, pointing her to the Savior. Yes, you are one of those people. As a youth leader, your investment in the lives of teenagers is very valuable. However, they also need two parents who invest in their spiritual development. (Yes, many of our teenagers are lacking a parent . . . or two . . . with the spiritual heart to guide their teenage children. But finding ways to help parents to accept their role as disciplers of their teenagers is a huge issue.)

The fourth relationship the teenager needs, according to Ross, is a relationship with a small group leader. I know, for many of us in the small church, we are both small group leader AND youth minister. Maybe it’s time we increase our tent and find other adults who are willing to pour their lives into teenagers.

The fifth relationship Ross recommends is a prayer mentor. Every teenager needs at least one adult in the church . . . someone other than his Bible study leader, his parent, or his youth minister, that prays daily for him or her. As Ross points out, prayer has a way of weaving our hearts together so that a prayer mentor will likely become a deep adult friend for most teenagers.

Richard Ross has a number of suggestions for implementing THIS kind of relational youth ministry. Check out his new book.