Who has the primary responsibility of discipling a teenager? Is it his youth leader at church? His pastor? A paid youth worker? A Sunday School teacher? Not really. The job really belongs to his parents. How do you help parents take on the roll of discipler?

First, understand that parents are discipling their teenagers. Youth researcher Christian Smith says that if you want to know what the faith of a teenager will be like just take a look at the faith of their parents. Most young people grow up with the faith they see modeled by their parents. So, in a sense, every parent of a member of your youth group is doing discipleship. The problem is that they are not necessarily modeling genuine faith.

As you interact with parents, let them know that they are the primary disciplers of their teenagers. Any time you get to be around parents, tell them that the faith of their teenagers will probably be very similar to the faith of their parents. Parents may not realize what a huge role they play in the faith development of their youth.

How do you help parents who want to take their responsibility as disciplers more seriously? The biggest thing they can do is walk with God. I don’t mean show up at church. I mean that they pursue God with their whole heart. Spiritual disciplines can be important, but not as rituals. Bible study classes can enhance their walk with Christ. But it is not what they do on the outside that will make a difference–it is having a heart devoted to God.

Then, encourage them to live their faith outloud. While faith does have a private dimension, it was never intended to be only a personal thing. We draw strength and grow from a shared faith . . . especially among those we know best and love most. Encourage them to share their faith journey with their teenagers . . . their struggles and their victories.

In the way you minister to students, make sure you acknowledge that you can only supplement what a teenager gets a home. God may choose to use you in ways beyond imagination. But keep working at encouraging parents to take the primary role.