The youth group in a small church can really seem like a big family. When students bring boyfriends and girlfriends from other churches, it can be fun. However, when students in the youth group start dating each other, it can be a challenge. When there are only a few kids in the group, how does it affect the group when two of them start dating each other?

On the one hand, students in the youth group dating each other is a positive thing. We encourage students to date believers, and the youth group is the best place for them to meet other Christians.

On the other hand, there can be some challenges for the small youth group when group members start dating each other.

Challenge 1: When students are dating, they may separate themselves from the rest of the group.They may pay less attention to their other friends in the group, leading some students to feel left out or frustrated.

Challenge 2: When students who have been dating break up, it can create some real discomfort for them . . . and for others in the group. One of the students may decide not to be involved in the youth group because the other is there.

What do you do when kids in the youth group are dating? The relationship may be over before you find out about it. In many cases, the relationship won’t have much affect on the youth group. However, if you find that a dating relationship is having some negative affect on your youth group, here are some thoughts to keep in mind.

1. Encourage them to continue to spend time with their other friends in the youth group and not focus all of their attention on the person they are dating.
2. It is usually best not to encourage or discourage a relationship. Encouraging kids to break up can end up with neither student trusting you. Affirm biblical principles for relationships . . . and listen.
3. Teach appropriate ways to relate to a person they are dating, but avoid embarrassing them in the group. Generally, using kids who are dating as examples of how to date . . . or how not to . . . is a bad idea.
4. Be available to both students. Avoid taking sides in a relationship.

Add your ideas: What problems have you encountered with students in the youth group dating? How would you suggest youth leaders deal with these relational issues? Leave your thoughts in the comments section below.

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