The task of adolescence according to Erik Erikson is to develop personal identity. Students who don’t do a good job of defining their identity will struggle with identity for the rest of their lives. The struggle of students to define themselves can be a challenge for youth leaders, too.

Younger adolescents are always “trying on hats.” I don’t mean literal hats, though there may be some of that, too. They are putting on one “identity” after another, trying it on for size. They may show up to Bible study one week with a new sneer and a “you can’t teach me anything attitude.” The next week, they may be ready to save the whales . . . or the chimps . . . or whatever they have heard about that is threatened. Some of these “hats” may be positive. Some may be completely sinful.

So, how do you help the younger adolescents in your group as they try to define who they are?

1. Don’t overreact. Pushing them to give up a “hat” may have the affect of causing them to dig in and defend what they are doing. Sometimes the best reaction is something like, “How’s this new look working for you?”
2. Teach them about who Christ says they are. Ultimately, students need to build their identity on their relationship with Christ. Take every opportunity to tell them how much they are loved by God . . . and how much God wants their life to be a reflection of HIS love and righteousness.
3. Don’t back down from teaching truth. If a teen is doing something that is sinful–like picking on peers, or using bad language–address the behavior. But show them how much you love them in the way you address their behavior. Validate their value as you point out bad behavior.

Defining identity is not easy for students. It is a difficult and confusing process for teenagers. It can take some truly strange turns. Everyone–from teachers to soft drink advertizers–are telling them who they should be. They desperately need caring adults who will help them to define their identity in Christ.