Lesson Five: Don’t Be a Thug; Let ’em Give You a HUG.

I know this football player who used to come sprinting over after practice or during the school day to lay a vice-grip clinch around me, hugging me in front of all his peers. He wanted to give me a hug. He wanted to show his love! At first, I worried how it would look to the other players, to the other coaches, and any other bystander. I even shied away from those innocent attempts to show his feelings. I honestly thought I would be fired if someone saw me letting a student hug me. So, how do you handle it when a student wants to give you a hug?

At some point, I decided to embrace the embrace. It just felt wrong to give into the politically correct mythology of our modern day. I don’t think we can live our lives in fear of being too friendly with students.

There are some checks that need to be in place, for sure. Our own motives are important. So is what we communicate to students who hug us. But some of us are more concerned with trying to maintain the Mr. Tough Guy image. It can be tough for us to communicate genuine love to students.

I later found out that the parents of the student I mentioned above were divorced. He rarely saw his dad. Some of the students around us are affection deprived. They need a man to show love in a pure and affirming way. With divorce being such a big part of the family landscape these days and workaholic dads rarely around to show love to their sons, many students only receive that basic human touch from their mother. Not only do they not receive healthy doses of affirming love, but many are learning and trying to figure out how to give and show love. We need to teach them how to receive as well as give love.
Zach Skipper has spent over 12 years working with students. He has served as a youth minister, speaker, and bible study teacher. He is currently leading Bigtime Ministries while part-time coaching at one of the country’s leading Junior Highs in Birmingham, AL. To find out more about Zach’s ministry, contact him at www.bigtimeministries.com.