Maybe it is the student who threatens suicide on the youth trip. Maybe it is the teenager who tells you he thinks he may be gay. Maybe it is the girl in your group that just quits eating and begins to waste away. But at some point in your ministry, you will encounter a situation that, if you are honest with yourself, you know that you cannot handle. How do you get help for a teenager that needs help you cannot give him or her? A Marriage and Family Counselor from San Francisco, Maggie Arbino, spoke to my youth ministry class this week. She shared some ideas that I think are fantastic and I wanted to share them with you.

The best time to build a list of people you can refer kids and their parents to is BEFORE you encounter the crisis. I know, you never expect to hit the really big problems with your group. After all, you know them. You know their families. However, some teenagers will experience crises and your students are not immune. Yes, Jesus will be there for them. Your prayers will make a difference. But sometimes kids need a professional counselor to work through the tragedies they face in their lives. Start now building your referral list. When a teenager encounters a crisis, you will be ready to connect her family with professional help.

Who do you need on your referral list? Locate a psychiatrist, an M.D. with expertise in psychiatric problems. Locate family counselors and professional counselors who have expertise with adolescents. Include someone who is a clinical social worker. Also, get to know school counselors as well as other emergency medical personnel in your area. If your town has a crisis pregnancy center, get to know the people who run that as well.

How do you find the right people? Ask medical personnel in your church to suggest individuals. Before you add people to your referral list, contact them. Ask them about their credentials, the kind of patients they usually work with, how they support the faith of the people you would refer to them, what their fee scale is like, whether they accept insurance, and whether they are accepting new patients.

When do you refer? When you realize you are dealing with something that is beyond your training, you should consider connecting the family of the teenager with an appropriate person. Talk with the family and the teenager about why you think he would benefit from professional counseling help. Contact professionals ahead of time and make sure they are willing to accept new clients. Try to give the family two or three names and let them select the person they think can best help them. Keep in mind that referring a teenager to a professional does not mean you back out of her life. Stay connected and keep investing in her life.