by Carol Bailey

Speaking encouraging words to teenagers usually means that, as youth leaders, we are listening to encouraging words ourselves. It may sound strange, but we won’t be good encouragers if we aren’t encouraged.

Lately, Michael Vick has been in the news . . . again; this time, for his release from federal prison, house arrest, and subsequent $10-an-hour-construction job. Atlanta Falcons coach Arthur Blank has discussed the commissioner’s stance on readmitting Vick into the NFL. The big question is: Who is Vick hanging with?

The truth is, we tend to live and act, to some degree, because of who we are allowing to speak into our lives, who we allow to influence us. It begs the question: Who’s in my head? Most of us do not have a friendship where we speak lyrics from “psalms, hymns and spiritual songs” to one another. If we do, then we would die before admitting it to anyone. However, that is God’s ideal. (Check out Ephesians 5:19.)

Youth leaders can get grief from many corners. Parents blame you for not reaching their youth. Youth tell you the program isn’t exciting enough. The pastor wants to know why the group isn’t growing faster. While we cannot control the attitudes of the people with whom we have to deal, we can monitor whom we let inside our heads.

Titus 3 has much to say about what is “excellent and profitable.” Paul’s advice as a mentor to Titus is a roadmap for checking who to hang with, who to let in our head.

The short answer? Is this relationship about “doing good?”  We willingly check the behavior of a struggling, thrill-addict, such as Michael Vick, with the perspective of distance. Titus 3:14 is the checkpoint for us: Do what is good.  Work for your daily needs. Live productive lives. Are these my friend’s values?

Who’s in your head? A true friend seeks to do good, to live a meaningful life, and to speak Truth over us.
Carol Bailey is a freelance writer who has ministered alongside her husband, John, through the trenches of student Carol Bailey is a freelance writer who has ministered alongside her husband, John, through the trenches of student ministry for over 20 years. Her claims to fame are her two daughters who have survived “the fishbowl” to the ripe old ages of 18 and 20. You can read more of their family’s tales at baileysonmission@blogspot.com.