by Troy G. White

Most Christian parents want their teenage children to grow up knowing God, living according to his ways, and being plugged into His church. However, many of them are at a loss as to how to help their teenagers to develop a heart for God. I think it’s a little like learning a new language.

When I graduated high school, I had completed two full years of Spanish class. After deciding on a degree plan in college, I was then required to take two more semesters of a foreign language. Living in Texas and having already studied it for two years, I chose Spanish. I passed every class with average to above average grades and my teachers were outstanding. Today, I live about an hour from the Texas/Mexico border, and the community is over 75% Hispanic.

There’s just one problem . . . I can’t speak a lick of Spanish!

Well, okay, I can speak a few words, but when I head across the border to visit churches or do mission work, I feel like a monkey doing astrophysics! I am completely dependent on someone else to communicate. “Just smile and wave, boys . . . smile and wave.” That’s me!

Why is this? I passed all of my classes. My teachers were great. So, why am I completely ignorant when it comes to Spanish? Simple–those years of one-hour-a-day instruction were surrounded by 23 hours of English. That isn’t astrophysics . . . it is simple arithmetic. Twenty-three is greater than one.

There are 168 hours in a week. Of those 168 hours, the average “churched” child attends service one hour a week, where, hopefully, they are hearing the Word of God and are being taught sound biblical truth. That takes us to 167.

Again, simple arithmetic here: 167 is greater than one.

Just as I cannot expect to become fluent in any language by spending one hour a day studying it and the remaining 23 hours speaking another, we cannot expect teenagers to learn the truth of God’s word one hour a week while absorbing the world the remaining 167.

The truth is, youth leaders are not intended to be the primary disciplers of the teenagers in our youth groups. That role actually belongs to their parents.

Parents are not called to disciple our children–they are commanded to do so. In Deuteronomy 6:4-9, God tells us to pass down the truth of His goodness to our children and grandchildren. He saw the importance of parents sharing their faith with the next generation because He knew that would be the only way the faith would continue to exist. The world . . . man . . . is not naturally bent toward faith. We are all born with a sin nature; therefore, our natural course of action is to move away from God. In His infinite wisdom, our Creator chose to use His people, specifically parents, to pass along the message of salvation to the next generation so they would then, in turn, share with the next. It’s a simple plan when executed correctly. As more and more parents choose to neglect their duty to pass down God’s truth to their children, the more our children will become biblically illiterate and our future generations will become less and less fluent in God’s language. Simply put, one hour a week at church is not enough.

Repetitive teaching . . . a constant reminder of Truth . . . helps us retain the knowledge necessary to survive not only this world, but live abundantly in eternity. If our teenagers are to absorb the deep truths of God, they need to see those truths applied to day-to-day experience . . . something that can only happen in their homes. We simply can’t acquiesce to the notion that one hour a week at church will do the trick spiritually.

How can we help parents know how to do the hard work of discipling thier teenagers? Psalm 137 poses the question, “How shall we sing the LORD’s song in a strange land? (KJV)” Perhaps it includes a few points that will help parents sing “God’s truth” to their children.

1. Encourage parents to seek the Lord and His guidance in understanding your biblical role as parents.
2. Talk with parents about reversing the trend of allowing others (including church youth leaders) to take the lead in teaching their teenage children.
3. Set up a meeting with parents and pastor to discuss the role of parents as primary discipers in the lives of teenagers.
4. Provide resources so parents can follow through with their biblical mandate.
5. Encourage parents to “Sing, Sing, Sing!” As Deuteronomy shows us, repeat the Truth all day, every day.

We all have our roles to play–parents, youth workers, pastor, and others in the church. God never intended parents to do the job alone, but neither does He give parents the option of shirking their responsibility to pour God’s truth into the lives of their children. Yes, pour your life into teenagers. Help teenagers who have no parental support for their faith at home. But don’t forget to encourage parents to take the lead in guiding their parents into a deep walk with Christ.

Troy G. White is the blessed husband of Angie, proud father of Alyssa and KaeLeigh, and serves as Minister of Students and Education at First Baptist Church in Kingsville, Texas. He is also a featured writer for Temerity Magazine, a new online e-zine (www.temeritymagazine.com), and host of his own blog at www.mycall2rise.com. You can also hear Troy on various Blog Talk Radio (www.blogtalkradio.com) programs as he shares his passion of faith, family and freedom. If you would like to contact Troy or have him as a guest speaker in your church, please feel free to email him at troy.white@familyfirst-tx.org, or call him at 361.455.9305.