Jesus had been out teaching his disciples. When they came back to Capernaum, Matthew records that Jesus went to Peter’s house (Matt. 8:14). It was a big deal to Matthew because Jesus miraculously healed Peter’s mother-in-law. But, I wonder if there is a simpler message for those of us who minister to youth in small churches. Teenagers live in homes with families. Go where they live.

I know, the culture was different then. People didn’t go out to restaurants all the time. They didn’t have little league or choir practice. And we are way past the day when you can drop by someone’s house and expect anyone to be home. But there is still great value in finding time to go to where people live.

Call ahead. Don’t just show up. You will be much more welcome if you ask the parents (not just the kid) if you can drop by for a few minutes.

Bring gifts. Okay, this is a little odd for many Americans, but I learned this from my neighbors in Nashville who were El Salvadoran. They would never come to my home without a small gift. I used to keep copies of Living with Teenagers magazine as a small gift to give to parents when I went by to see them.

Tell them why you came. Make it simple. Something like: I like getting to know the families of our students and love getting to see where they live.

Listen more than you talk. Too often, people have an agenda when they go to someone’s house. Honestly, most people who come to my house are trying to sell me something. Notice things they set out–that’s a cue to what members of the family think are most important. Ask the family about things, and listen to their stories.

Don’t stay long. You will be much more welcome to come back if you spend 20 minutes and leave than if you stay all evening long.

And, it isn’t a bad thing to invite folks to get to know you in your home either.