leadership

By Paul G. Kelly

Lately, I’ve been reading through the stories of King David. And once again I am struck by how he handled King Saul, a man driven toward murder by his own jealousy and anger. Not once, but twice God placed Saul directly into David’s hands and both times David chose to extend grace. When Saul was finally killed and David was anointed king over Judah, David did not rejoice over the turn of events, but mourned the loss of God’s choice for the first king.

Perhaps the reason David could be a man after God’s own heart was because his own heart was not so full of himself. He actually had room for God in his heart.

Youth ministry can be one of those thankless jobs. You are a lot more likely to get blamed for the bathroom being flooded . . . after all, it probably was one of the middle school kids . . . than appreciated for your investment. In fact, sometimes people can be down right mean. A friend of mine is currently struggling with his part-time ministry position because another minister is jealous of how much he is liked.

I don’t suppose it should surprise us when people ignore our efforts . . . or are critical of them. Surely David at times must have felt the same way we feel. And yet, he was a man after God’s own heart. Being a great youth minister is not dependent on the respect or thanks of the congregation. In some churches, you will never do youth ministry if you are waiting for that. When we let our hearts be so full of our love for God that we see even our enemies through that love . . . well, that is a foundation for great youth ministry.

Today, you may be frustrated by your relationships at church. Ask God to help you to see others through His love and trust that He will lift you up in His timing. Be quick to forgive and quick to speak kind words.

By Russell Johnson

I’ll cut to the chase: No matter how many people show up, no matter how much money is in your budget, or even how talented you may be . . . worship starts in the heart!

“…Sing and make music to the Lord with your hearts.” —Eph. 5:18-19

Don’t get me wrong.  All those other things help support the worship time, but they don’t necessarily fuel it.  For leaders who have a small group, I would like to approach this topic in two ways: first by encouraging you to build a culture of worship in the hearts of your group, and second by helping you create opportunities for students to respond in worship.

Building a culture of Worship begins with you.  Do your students see you worship?  As I lead worship I always try to help paint a picture of what worship is . . . and what it’s not.   Because of the way our churches are historically setup, most people think Sunday is the only time we worship.  We call them, “Sunday Worship Services.”  We need to help students understand that Worship is a lifestyle.  More than the hour on Sunday or the Student ministry gathering, it has to be a perpetual theme in our daily lives.  Giving students biblical insights to all the different ways we may worship is key.  Music is just one aspect. There’s also prayer, thanksgiving, tithing, reading scripture, painting, communion, interpretive movement, serving, and more.   From my experience, students are eager to know more about Worship and what it means.  Everything we do should be an act of worship.

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”–Colossians 3:17

As you strive to build this Worship culture in your group there are some practical things that may help students respond:

• In a more intimate worship setting, song selection is critical.  Songs need to be singable.  Don’t try and teach too many new songs at one time.  People like to sing songs they know.  You’ll soon see which tunes become your group’s favorites.  Next, build your teaching times around a particular song and allow the students to sing the song at the end of the session with a new found understanding of what they are saying to God or about Him.

• Allow your students to take ownership of the worship.  Enlist students to pray, read scripture, or lead music.

• Have your worship time in a completely different setting.  Occasionally, change locations so it’s not always the same.

• Give students a tangible way of responding in Worship (e.g., writing something down, laying something on the altar, bringing an offering, praying for each other).  You can also encourage your group to come up with ways they can serve the community as an act of worship.

Ultimately, worship is to be our response to who God is and what He has done. Hopefully, we can all catch the vision of what Jesus was saying when He said that we should, “Worship in spirit and in truth”.   – John 4:24

Russell Johnson is a worship leader, singer, and song-writer. He and his wife Kristi lead worship across the United States and have just released their worship album, “Arise.” To find out more about Russell and his ministry, check out www.russellandkristi.com.

A friend of mine who pastors a growing church is looking for a new youth minister. Trying to find the right person is important to their fellowship . . . and he has been out of the youth ministry loop for some time. He explained that years ago he had been told that if you wanted to engage high school students in ministry, having an athletic youth leader who would get them playing sports was the key. Later, students were attracted to music and finding a youth leader who uses music in ministry is what brings students into the group. So, what attracts teenagers to youth ministry today?

Honestly, some students will still be attracted by sports and having a youth leader who lives sports is a good connection for some. And, some students will be attracted by music. Giving students the opportunity to make music as well as hear it will be a good connection for some students.

Youth culture has become much more divergent. Many students love sports, but their interests range from field hockey to gymnastics. The fact that students have the time to invest in . . . and get good at . . . sports has led to growth in more school-based and community-based sports leagues. But, it is unlikely you will find a whole group of students around your church who love volleyball. Likewise, it would be a mistake to say that music is NOT a part of youth culture. It is! The problem with how you use that in the youth group to attract students is that for some kids it is all about Lady Antebellum; for others Lady Gaga. And everything in between.

I believe there are two keys in this multi-faceted, global youth culture that are essential to drawing students into your church’s youth ministry. First, relationships! Students are engaged by people who genuinely care about them, who take time to listen to them, who take interest in their lives, and who share their lives with students. Buy a smoke machine and turn your youth room into a hip-hop church if you want to, but adults (and students) who care about every kid who wanders is the glue that will make them stick.

Second, vision! That may be too simple a word. What I mean is, students want to be a part of something important, something that is changing the world. Most teenagers have not committed much of themselves to the mission of the church because the mission of the churches they have gone to is simply not worth much commitment. For some, that will mean traveling the world and being on stage telling people about Christ. For others that would be too intimidating. For some filling shoe boxes with toiletries for children in an third-world orphanage would seem like a hands-on way to make a real difference. For others, that would seem too far removed from the action. Still, regardless of the specific way they would prefer to make a difference, students need to believe what they are doing is important.

Small churches may never be able to field a lacrosse team. And they may never have the talent for a youth praise band. But every small church can do those two things: give kids deep relationships and a vision worth their lives. If your church is struggling to reach students, start asking questions about these things.

We had talked about how hot it would be, how tired we would feel, . . . and how important the work we were doing on our mission trip would be. It should not have surprised me that all the complaining started anyway. I mean, they are teenagers. I was hot and tired, too. That’s probably why their whining got to me. I probably should have affirmed their feelings and encouraged them, but instead I jumped all over them for being so immature. I was angry.

Teenagers do things that are frustrating. The more time you spend with them, the more you find yourself angry at something they say or do. And, anger is sometimes exactly the right reaction. When you see one teenager bullying another, I think anger is the right reaction. Jesus got angry enough to turn tables over and chase people out of the temple (Matt. 21:12-13). Anger is sometimes exactly the right response. The problem for us is what we do when we are angry.

Next time you get angry with your youth group (or your kids, or your spouse), take a breath. Choose a calm tone of voice . . . even if the student is yelling at you. Acknowledge the feelings of the person making you angry. Say something like, “I know you guys are excited and are having a hard time getting focused,” or “I get that you guys are hot and tired.” Then, ask for what you want. “Still, I would really like you guys to focus on what we are doing here.” And tell them why: “Because I believe God wants us to get something here and, while the easiest thing we could do is jump around the room, it would hurt me to think we missed something God had for us.” Okay, you’ll have to use your own words.

The way you deal with anger has everything to do with your relationships with the students. Kids who have little relationship with you won’t care. But as you build relationships with students, as they understand how much you care about them, they will respond positively to a calm expression of anger or frustration.

I love youth ministry. Seeing students develop a walk with Christ is about the best thing in life. Discipleship groups, youth camps, mission trips, and time to hang-out and have informal discussions–the events we do are hard to make time for, but I really believe they are worth the effort.

And yet, sometimes it all just feels stale.  Teenagers lose enthusiasm. Finding leaders is hard. You feel tired and getting ready for another youth group meeting just feels overwhelming. Sure, youth ministry in a big church has a lot of people involved and there is always something new going on. But in a small youth group, things can sometimes just feel stale. What do you do?

Sometimes I think God allows us to lose energy because he wants to change our direction. We may be trying to recover the “good ol’ days” when God wants to give us a brand new vision for youth ministry. Maybe things are stale because it’s time for us to get some “new wine skins.” Don’t give up. Get ready for God to do something new.

1. Pray. I know, this is my standard answer for everything. That is because God is the ultimate answer for everything. When we seek to do youth ministry (or anything else) under our own power for our own purposes and in our own ways, we miss the point of being Christ-followers. Seek God for his direction for youth ministry and how he wants to accomplish it.

2. Shape a new vision. As you pray and read God’s Word, what do you sense God saying to you? Is he calling you to a deeper sense of awe in his presence? greater commitment to his mission? reaching outside your group and making him known? healing hurts in your group? As you sense what God is saying to you, get ready to make the necessary adjustments.

3. Watch for God’s movement. Often when God is speaking to you about his direction, he will also be speaking to others. God may be speaking to some of your students, youth leaders, or parents about the same things. Listen to what others are saying and thinking. Pay attention to the dreams of your teenagers . . . especially those that seem to be birthed from a heart for God. God may even be calling new youth leaders to join your team as he begins to move you in a new direction.

4. Plan actions that move you in a fresh direction. However, don’t make the activities you do the focus. Talk to teenagers about the new vision of youth ministry God is leading you toward. Help teenagers and parents to see the purpose for the events you plan . . . whether they are weekly studies, a mission trip, or a Friday night fellowship time. Allow the vision to drive you . . . not the activities.

I know, some of you don’t like change at all. You would prefer for things to simply stay the same. For Abraham, it meant leaving his home and trekking off to a land he didn’t know. If God calls your teenagers to make that kind of a change, they need to see what it is like to follow God on a new assignment. This is not about change for the sake of change: Teenagers need some traditions to hang onto, too. Those things that don’t change give teenagers a sense of stability in an ever changing world. However, teenagers also need to see what it looks like to follow God.

In a small church, youth leaders may wear several hats. You may teach the youth class on Sunday morning, staff the nursery during the service, and help count the offering after church. With all of the needs at the church, a youth leader can end up overwhelmed. In his book Youth Pastor, Houston Heflin suggests that one of the tensions in youth ministry is finding the balance between being a visionary leader of the youth group and being a faithful teammate to others who are leading in the church. I agree.

Youth ministry needs a vision. Your ministry needs a picture of what the future could look like as you follow God’s leadership. That vision is what inspires students to get involved and gives adults the heart to sacrifice their time to serve. In 2 Kings 6, an Israelite city was surrounded by an oppressing army. Elisha’s servant must have quaked in fear when he reported to Elisha that they were surrounded. Elisha prayed for God to open the eyes of his servant. “Then the LORD opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha” (v. 17). When the servant caught a vision of what God was up to, everything changed. In a sense, the youth ministry leader has the responsibility of drawing back the curtain and helping others to see that God is already at work to bring about a rich future. And that takes time. Time in prayer. Time in communication. Time in dreaming. Time in reflecting.

Meanwhile, the children’s ministry needs someone to cover a rolling skating party. The pastor is looking for someone to distribute flyers. Someone needs to set up the tables for the after-church dinner. Time you need to be the visionary leader can disappear as you spend your time in other ministries.

And yet, we are called to bear each other’s burdens. Surely that means ministry burdens. Being a team player means that sometimes I sacrifice what I would rather do to make someone else’s ministry successful. Our final purpose is to make God known, to see Him glorified, and to participate in the extension of His Kingdom. Ministry is never simply about the corner of work God has called me to do.

Finding balance is the goal. Don’t miss how important it is to give time and passion to your youth ministry. It is okay to say no to some of the ministry “opportunities” you are given. But keep in mind kingdom priorities. Care for your co-leaders and be willing to help. You will find that as you help others in their area of ministry, they will be willing to help you as well. And don’t miss the importance of prayer in sensing God’s direction.

Most of us get into youth ministry because we love being around teenagers. We care about their hurts and their hunger for God. We love getting to share with them, teach them, laugh with them, and minister side by side with them. However, often as you grow in your role as youth leader you begin to discover that doing good youth ministry is about more than hanging with teenagers. Successful youth ministry involves careful planning, good administration, and thoughtful organization. So, is a youth leader a shepherd to teenagers or an administrator of a youth ministry program?

Houston Heflin’s book, Youth Pastor, claims that your role is both. In addition to being a youth minister, you may have a full-time job, a family to care for, and classes you are taking in addition to being a youth minister. How on earth can you fill both of those roles?

For those of you who love being with teenagers, but hate administration and organization, I would make this observation: Often poor administration costs you additional time you could be spending with teenagers, money from your church budget (or your own pocket), and frustration. It also may mean that you are less effective at reaching and discipling teenagers than you might be.

Here are a few suggestions:

• Set some goals. Know what you are hoping to see happen in the next year in your youth ministry.
• Plan ahead. Build a calendar that lets people know what you will be doing at least three months ahead of time.
• Enlist help. Ask a parent to take charge of planning ONE event. If several do that, then when you show up, you can just focus on teenagers and not worry about logistical issues.

If you are a good administrator but struggle in relationships with teenagers, don’t quit! Keep doing the planning, organizing, and strategizing. But enlist some folks who relate easily with teenagers to do the face to face ministry!

“Therefore you will joyously draw water from the springs of salvation” (Isaiah 12:3, NASB).

Youth ministry can feel lonely. Especially in a small church. Time with teenagers is often fun. It is exciting to watch teenagers to finally understand some issue of faith. However, so much of your investment in ministry can feel unappreciated and under-valued. Others in your church may wonder why you invest so much of yourself in the lives of young people . . . and the thought may cross your mind as well. When God calls you to minister to and with teenagers, you can hardly walk away from your call. However, God never intended for us to struggle away at the ministry he has given us on our own.

Much of the message of the prophets of the Old Testament was a message of judgment. God’s people failed to live according to God’s expectation of justice so often that God moved against his own people. After announcing God’s judgment on both Israel and Judah, Isaiah told the people of a day in which they would experience the forgiveness and grace of God. “Then you will say on that day, ‘I will give thanks to You, O Lord!’” (Isaiah 12: 1, NASB). God sets his people free from fear. He becomes their source of strength and joy. He gives them a heart to exalt him, to make God known.

God has placed his Holy Spirit within us and assured us of his love, his forgiveness, and the future he has for us. It makes no sense that we would do the work of youth ministry as if the work depended on us and on our efforts. If you are feeling overwhelmed with the work needed to impact the lives of teenagers, perhaps it is time, as Isaiah described, to “joyously draw water from the springs of salvation” (Isaiah 12:3, NASB). Drink deeply of the forgiveness and grace of Jesus Christ by spending time with him. Confess and repent of any sin that has kept you at arms length from God. Ask for his wisdom which he promises to give those who ask. Depend on his strength.

This week I attended a conference that centered around the idea of “theological reflection.” I know, that sounds like something we would talk about at the seminary, something that has little to do with 7 or 8 teenagers who spend most of the Bible study laughing about someone passing gas. But I think reflecting theologically is not just for theologians. Or, more accurately, I think all of us who desire to impact the lives of teenagers for Christ are theologians. Perhaps we do not all share the dusty, academic brand of theology that requires years of study of things written in German and Latin.

But we are engaged in thinking about the world theologically. And we are engaged in teaching a theology to students that will guide their understanding of their lives and their world.

One of the presenters at this conference compared much of youth ministry practice to steering a car. “Steering is not driving,” he explained. True. If one only steers a car, she is destined to crash into something. Driving involves careful attention to everything around us and then guiding the car . . . sometimes faster, sometimes slower, sometimes switching lanes . . . to reach the desired destination. Many of us engage in youth ministry activities we have seen done some where with no real consideration of what God is up to around us. We are steering the youth ministry, but not really driving.

Theological reflection in youth ministry means that we look at our surroundings: What is happening in the lives of our teenagers? What is happening at our church? What is happening in our community? Then we consider what all of this means in light of the work and movement of God in human history. How does the word of God speak into the issues we see around us? How would Jesus address this generation of teenagers? What spiritual truths are most important for our church to keep in mind? Finally, we determine the activities of our ministry based on how we see God at work.

We don’t (or shouldn’t) do youth ministry based on our desire to get teenagers to show up at an event. We do youth ministry because our understanding of God and His work in the world leads us to ways to impact the lives of teenagers for the Kingdom. I know, this may seem like I am stating the obvious, but perhaps it would be good to ask yourself: Why are you doing the next youth activity you have scheduled? Does it hold theological importance for you? If not, should it?

Youth ministry in a small church can make you feel like you are on your own in a foreign land. It really shouldn’t. Youth ministry works best when several adults are working together to invest in the spiritual lives of teenagers. But, when I do conferences for youth leaders, the biggest complaint I hear is, “I can’t find anyone to help.” This week, I’ve been reading Jonathan (son) and Thomas (father) McKee’s book, The New Breed: Understanding and Equipping the 21st Century Volunteer. They offer seven “sins” that keep people from being effective at enlisting volunteers. Six of those sins apply directly to those of us doing youth ministry in a small church.

Sin 1: Expect Announcements to Get Volunteers. Most people respond to a personal invitation to help in a ministry, not to a general announcement.

Sin 2: Go it Alone. Everyone involved in your ministry–including the teenagers–can and should be enlisting volunteers.

Sin 3: Recruit only Volunteers who Make Long-Term Commitments. Often a commitment to youth ministry starts by serving pizza at a youth lock-in. Ask people to do small things and watch to see who connects with the teenagers.

Sin 4: Assume that “No” Means “Never.” Often “no” just means “not now.” You may want to find out what the reason is and make a point to ask again later.

Sin 5: Recruit Anyone Just to Fill a Seat. Youth ministry is too important to involve people who are not passionately growing in their faith or do not love teenagers. Don’t just fill a position. Find quality leaders.

Sin 6: Ask Busy People to Do Busy Work. Nothing kills a volunteer faster than asking him/her to do things he/she feels like are meaningless.