leadership

Sometimes people look at me funny when I talk about the SmallYouthGroup.com ministry. I suppose talking about the value of small youth groups may at times make it sound like the goal is to stay small. Yes and no. First, our calling is to make disciples (Matt. 28:18-20). That certainly implies that the kingdom of God would grow. It normally implies that the local church would grow as well. (Obviously if you are making disciples in Peru it would not mean direct growth for your church in Iowa.) On the other hand, big churches have discovered that the larger your church grows, the smaller it must become. In order for a big church to actually care for and equip believers, it must develop an organization in which everyone finds a small group they can belong to. A lot of people have advanced ideas about church growth. Some of them don’t really fit a small youth group. I believe that the most significant principles for growth in a small youth group may be counter-intuitive–they don’t seem like the normal approach to growth. Because of that, a lot of youth leaders are frustrated when they don’t see their youth groups grow. Here are my thoughts. Would appreciate you adding your own thoughts below.

1. Pray. I know, it is the Sunday School answer, but I am serious. When we seek God for students to disciple and leaders to disciple them, we demonstrate that we understand that the work belongs to him. God is the growth strategist you need for your church. He is the one that will guide you and will make your work fruitful.
2. Focus on making disciples rather than growing the group. Activities that attract teenagers are good, but attracting teenagers is not the purpose of our ministry. The purpose is to make disciples. Growing teenagers who are able to share their faith with others and can become disciplers themselves will take a lot deeper investment than having a pizza party after the football game.
3. Remember that discipleship is relational and not just educational. Yes, you need to teach teenagers, but you also need to model what real faith looks like in real life situations.
4. Do fun things, but always keep the focus of the ministry on knowing Christ and making him known.
5. Expand your team. You may be thinking, “Okay, we have five kids. Why should I expand my team?” If you are the only youth leader, you may only be able to reach teenagers who “get” you. Teenagers who think differently than you do, those who come from different backgrounds, and those who have different interests will be harder for you to disciple. The more team members you engage, the more teenagers you will have the potential of reaching. Don’t wait until you get more teenagers to ask individuals to join your work. Getting additional leaders on board will help you reach more students.

Trust that God will add to your group in his time. Care for students as God allows you to reach them and challenge them to develop a relationship with Jesus and join him on his mission. Don’t stress about students you invest in who end up in another church. The work is kingdom work. Be patient and trust God.

When you accept a position in youth ministry in a small church, most of the time you take on the whole load by yourself. Until you can enlist help, it is all on your shoulders. However, at times you may find yourself blessed with a team of youth leaders that you wish were someone else’s blessing. The truth is, not everyone should be a youth leader. How do you handle a dysfunctional youth ministry team?

First, evaluate. What is the problem really? Is it a personality conflict you have with another leader? Or is it a problem of philosophy–he just sees youth ministry differently than you? Or is there a character flaw? Explore the problem. Find someone who will talk with you honestly about the problem, someone who will be objective.

Second, pray. I know there are those who would disagree with me, but I would be hesitant to ask someone to step down from youth ministry because I didn’t like him. In fact, someone who rubs me the wrong way may be perfect at reaching teenagers that are not likely to respond to me. I need God’s perspective on my relationship. I need to be willing to make adjustments and work at a relationship if God wants to use both of us in the same ministry. On the other hand, if I need to confront a serious problem or character flaw, I badly need God’s wisdom and grace.

Third, talk honestly. Set aside time to talk about what you see. Ask the leader if he sees things in the same way. Listen to what he says.

Fourth, involve appropriate church leadership. Never let the pastor be surprised to find out you have asked another youth leader to step down. Talk to him about the problem and what you want to do to address it.

Finally, act. Don’t let a problem go on unaddressed. If a person is creating problems in youth ministry, kindly ask him to step down. It is not a fun conversation, but the teenagers in your church are too important to have someone who is not appropriate for teenagers as a leader.

Most of us get involved in youth ministry because we love teenagers. Perhaps God gives us that love when he calls us to work with teenagers, or maybe we are just the crazy people in the church. Teaching teenagers, spending time with them, and sharing with them comes easy to many of us. Unfortunately, our desire to work with teenagers sometimes keeps us from building a team of leaders. Lone Ranger youth ministry works for a while, but we truly limit what we can offer to teenagers to our own gifts. So, when you get tired of being the Lone Ranger and are ready to take off the mask and at least find a Tonto, how do you do it?

1. Pray. I know, that is the good Christian answer, but I’m serious. God is in the business of calling people to specific ministry and he has the advantage of already knowing whose hearts he has been preparing to work with teenagers. Ask him to show you who he is calling into the ministry.

2. Ask. I like questions like this: You know, you have some amazing gifts that I think would make a tremendous difference in the lives of our teenagers. I wonder if you would consider talking with me about getting involved in our youth ministry. Remember that people will be much more open to working with you in ministry if you can be specific about what you would like them to do. I want leaders on my team, not just people who will do what I ask. If you want to excite a leader, ask her to lead a ministry, not just hang out.

3. Train. In a small youth group, you may not feel like you are sure what you are doing, so training someone else may be daunting. Ask the new leader(s) to attend a conference with you. Ask a veteran youth leader to meet with you and your leaders to train you in a specific area of youth ministry. Read a youth ministry book together and take time on a weekly basis to talk about what you are learning.

4. Bond. There is nothing worse than teenagers being taught by adults who don’t like each other. Work at building solid relationships with others on your team. Develop trust. Have fun together. Dream together, Eat together. Pray together.

There is nothing better for your youth ministry than a team of adults who love them and are using their spiritual gifts to invest in teenagers. Start praying and take a look around. Who is God calling to work with you?

You agreed to work as a youth leader in a small church. Maybe you accepted a small salary for doing the job or maybe you are volunteering your time and energy. Whatever the case, the youth ministry is now your responsibility. If you are like most youth leaders in small churches, you probably assume that this job means that you teach youth, counsel with youth, play with youth, and serve with youth. Whatever the youth group is doing, that is your responsibility. Right? I’m not so sure.

Yes, youth ministry should include building relationships with teenagers, teaching them, serving with them, and having fun with them. But, the calling of a youth minister is to lead youth ministry. Imagine you were called to lead the construction of a sky scraper. Since the sky scraper was your responsibility, you determined to place every brick, pour every ounce of concrete, run every wire yourself. I’m not an engineer, but I think that would be a dangerous sky scraper. No one can do everything that needs to  be done to build a sky scraper on his or her own. And I am convinced that no person alone can build a solid youth ministry.

Youth ministry takes teamwork. It takes people who look at things in different ways have different gifts and different passions. Of course, when you get a lot of people involved, you may end up with a lot of different ideas and someone has to coordinate, reign in some and motivate others. THAT is the work of leadership. And, at the end of the day, that is the most important work a youth minister does. Volunteer, part-time, or full time, your most important job is not what you do with teenagers. It is what you do with others who will work with teenagers. By building your team, blending their gifts, and creating a ministry that they are invested in, you expand what you can do as a youth leader. You expand the ways you can reach teenagers and how many of them you can reach.

Yes, it is easier to be a lone ranger when you are in a small church. But don’t use that as an excuse. Build a team.

Maeyken Wens was the wife of an Anabaptist pastor in 16th Century Antwerp. She passionately followed Christ, but her beliefs about believers baptism were not tolerated in much of Europe. She was arrested, tried, and sentenced to death by burning. Before her execution, she wrote to her son Adriaen: My dear son, do not be afraid of this suffering; it is nothing compared to that which shall endure forever. . . . Hence cease not to fear God because of this temporal death; I cannot fully thank my God for the great grace which he has shown me. She did all she could to leave a legacy of faith to her son.

As I read her story, I remembered a mom of a former youth group member asking me not to challenge our youth to do too much. “There are already so many demands on their time,” she told me. Certainly we can over-challenge teenagers, demand too much of them . . . even at church. But I wonder if we short-sell teenagers by dumbing down the faith and making it all about pizza, games, and quick devotional Bible study. I long for a generation of teenagers who will say no to simplistic faith and will passionately pursue God, no matter the cost.

The vast majority of parents want the best for their children. Most of them sacrifice to give their kids the best start in life they can. They desire to see their children as healthy adults with good jobs, loving families, and rich lives. Christian parents want their children to grow up with a love for God. Ask parents if they would be willing for their children to make huge sacrifices if it would advance the Kingdom of God and they will hesitate. Honestly, it would be easier for most of us to contemplate making huge sacrifices for God ourselves than to ask our kids to do it.

As you seek to challenge youth with the amazing (and sometimes demanding) truths of the gospel, don’t neglect their parents. Find ways to lift the eyes of parents to what is truly most important in life: not a big house or a comfortable paycheck, but passionate obedience to Christ. When you involve teenagers in ministry, invite their parents to join you and to work side-by-side with their teenage children. Help them to see the incredible value of a life poured out in service to Christ.

Most teenagers will grow up to value what their parents value . . . for better or worse. Help the parents of your teenagers to see in their children the potential for Kingdom service in their kids. And encourage them to leave a legacy of more than church attendance, but true passionate service to Christ.

Check out the books on the youth ministry shelves at your local Christian bookstore. Most of the models of youth ministry described in those books are from “successful” churches. By “successful” I mean that they have a whole bunch of students involved in their ministry. I think having lots of kids involved in ministry is great . . . but I don’t think that should be the only way we measure success. And unfortunately, those models often only fit a big church that already is reaching lots of students. So, where do we find a model for what youth ministry should look like in the small church. I think the best model of ministry is found in what Jesus did with his disciples.

First, Jesus’ ministry with the disciples was relational. He spent a lot of time with them. He used teachable moments to guide them to maturity. He showed them the power of God in the circumstances of life. He lived his relationship with the Father out in front of them.

Second, Jesus’ ministry with the disciples involved intentional teaching. Jesus set aside time to take his disciples apart and instruct them in how to follow God. Some of my friends in LifeWay’s student ministry are talking about six issues Jesus taught the disciples: the lordship of Christ, Christian disciplines like prayer and giving, developing godly character, discerning right from wrong, building healthy relationships with other people, and influencing people around them with the Gospel. Not a bad plan.

Third, Jesus’ ministry with the disciples was purposeful. When he called Simon and his brother Andrew, he told them, “Follow me and I will make you fishers of men” (Matt. 4:19). His disciples were doing a lot more than hanging out together. They were learning to be on mission with God in their world.

I suppose there is a lot more we could say about Jesus-Style Youth Ministry, but those are some pretty significant truths for those of us who are leading our little band of 12 . . . or 8 . . . or 2.

Get a group of youth leaders together and ask them about older youth. They will almost all begin to talk about how few older students stay involved in the youth group as they move toward high school graduation. Students begin to drive, get part-time jobs, are involved in an increasing number of activities, have more freedom to spend time on their own with friends . . . and seem to have less time for youth group. In small youth groups, we feel the press even more because we have so few older students to start with. Is this trend something we have to live with? Are students always going to move away from our youth ministries as they mature?

Maybe. As parents give their students more freedom to make their own decisions, some young men and women are going to opt out of youth ministry. I think our strategy with those students is to find new ways to challenge them. Help them not to graduate out of their faith because they feel like they have graduated out of the youth group.

However, we lose some students because of the way we do youth ministry. Think about it. a student enters the youth group around age 12 with huge excitement and high expectations. They are excited about things like youth camp, mission projects; time with older students they admire and time away from parents. And that excitement is enough to hold their attention . . . for a year or two. Eventually, all of the excitement fades. Youth camp becomes one of many optional activities. And some of the older students they once admired don’t seem as cool as they once did. Students develop a “been-there-done-that” attitude toward youth ministry. At the same time, they are striving to become the president of the student class, or the head cheer-leader, or the drum major of the band . . . roles that give them new challenges and more responsibility. Is it any wonder that students begin to drop out of our youth groups.

If we want our young people to continue to find our youth ministries engaging, we need to find ways to raise the challenge for them. I know, you don’t have the resources to develop a high school seniors seminar in apologetics. It might not help if you could. But the answer may not be all that tough. Give your older students status in your group. Ask for them to teach part of the Bible study lesson, not just sit in a class full of younger students. Give them responsibility for caring for younger students. Find their gifts and get them plugged into ministry projects in the youth group, in the church, or in the community. Raise the bar for students and many will respond.

When I talk to professional youth ministers about SmallYouthGroup.com, a lot of them give me strange looks. Why would you develop a website that “celebrates” a youth ministry being small? Shouldn’t we be trying to build “big” youth groups? It is exciting to minister to large groups of teenagers. And, of course, more young people growing in their faith is better than a few young people growing in their faith. However, there are some good reasons to invest in youth ministry in a small church.

Jesus definitely taught big groups of people. In the Gospels you read about the big tent revivals Jesus did by the Sea of Galilee . . . and Jesus didn’t even have a tent. Jesus had a number of disciples who believed in him and followed him. He sent them out on mission in Luke 9. And we are surprised by Jesus’ “secret” disciples who begged his body from Pilate for burial after his crucifixion. However, Jesus invested most of his time with twelve men . . . some of them may have been teenagers. Why do you think he did that?

I don’t think we can ever wholly understand Jesus’ intentions. He is God. However, I believe part of the reason for Jesus’ investment in the Twelve was that he was able to pour his life into their lives. He was able to guide them in intimate settings to see the God he knew and could model for them how to serve that God. Small youth groups provide that kind of opportunity.

Actually, I am convinced that no youth leader, regardless of how good he or she is, can be effective at discipling a youth group of many more than twelve. Youth leaders in large groups who are actually effective have to have many leaders who are pouring their lives into smaller groups of youth. Many large youth groups are experimenting with youth ministry in ways that are automatic in small youth groups:

• Involving parents in the ministry.
• Creating small groups that contain older and younger youth so that older youth can encourage their younger peers.
• Allowing a leader to continue to work with the same group of youth for a number of years instead of having them simply promote to the next teacher at the end of the school year.

Youth ministry should follow the lead of Jesus and Jesus invested his life in a small group of disciples.

So, am I suggesting that youth groups are better off staying small? Not at all. I am suggesting that we are obedient to God in the place he has put us. That includes raising the youth in our care to grow in their relationship with God. It includes making Christ known to the youth we have opportunity to influence. It includes helping our youth ministries to be places that are on mission. Then, we trust God to bring growth.

“I only have five kids in my youth group. I don’t really need a lot of training.” I’m afraid a lot of youth leaders in small church may feel exactly that way. Training is for folks who work with hundreds of youth leaders, not for those of us who wonder if we are going to have anyone show up for our Sunday morning Bible study. Right?

I don’t really think so. I think students need our best and that means we continue to sharpen our skills. Youth culture is always changing. We can never be strong enough in Bible knowledge. New research is finding out more about the teenagers we work with all the time. And church structures change from region to region and decade to decade. Our teenagers are worth the effort to improve our skills.

So, let’s assume for the sake of argument that you agree with me. Let’s assume you see the need for on-going training. How do you get it? A friend of mine has identified five areas in which volunteer youth leaders need training. (These same areas aren’t bad for paid youth leaders either.)

1. We need training in Bible knowledge. Someone has said that the Bible is shallow enough for a child to understand that “Jesus love me this I know,” but is deep enough for the deepest theologian to swim all his life without touching bottom. We can all deepen our understanding of the Word of God. It will make our teaching stronger and our lives a richer picture of a committed follower of Christ.

2. We need training in Adolescent Development. The teen brain is a fascinating piece of creation. It is becoming an adult brain and leaving behind the workings of a childhood brain, but it is actually neither one. If we really are to understand and care for teens, we need to have a good understanding of what is happening in their bodies as they grow into adults.

3. We need training in Youth Culture. If you were looking for Richie Cunningham and the soda fountain today, you would probably not find him. Instead, he would be on Facebook. Or maybe just sitting in the back of class texting his friends. Teen culture used to change about every 10 years. Now, youth culture is morphing into something new almost every year.

4. We need training in Teaching Methods. The changes in youth culture coupled with the uniqueness of the time of life of adolescence means that teenagers tend to learn differently than children and definitely differently than adults. The more creative teaching arrows you have in your lesson preparation quiver, the more effective you will be in guiding teenagers toward eternal truths in a way they can absorb and apply.

5. We need training in Leadership. How do you become the kind of person a teenager would want to model their life after? How you deal with everything from flying gum in the Bible study class to listening to the girl who shares that she has been molested shows what kind of leader you are. Being a youth leader is NOT easy. Those who claim it is no big deal just don’t understand. Not every day will be a huge challenge, but challenges will come and you need to be developing the skills to deal with those challenges.

So, where do you get all of this training? Since I’m a seminary professor, you would expect me to say that one of the places you can get it is in a seminary classroom. In most seminaries you can be enrolled as a special student. You don’t have to pursue a Master of Divinity in order to get some formal training. Many seminaries offer Bible classes, youth education classes, and leadership classes in non-traditional formats–on weekends, on an evening, or over the Internet. The training you can receive at seminary is really worth the investment.

However, you can also find training seminars through organizations like Group, Youth Specialties, or LifeWay. Check their website for up-coming training events. Your local denominational offices might offer training. In fact, some denominations have trained consultants that can give you one-to-one instruction, or can come to your church to train you and your co-leaders.

If all else fails, read. I try to recommend books I read that I think are helpful for small church youth leaders on this site. Recent recommendations have included:

• Richard Ross, Student Ministry and the Supremacy of Christ
• Walt Mueller, Youth Culture 101
• Vaugh Roberts, God’s Big Picture: Tracing the Storyline of the Bible
• Doug Fields, Your First Two Years in Youth Ministry

I can add a free downloadable book on adolescent development written by Allen Jackson: Introducing the 21st Century Teenager available at www.lifeway.com/Understanding/Youth/index.asp.

Regardless of how you do it, keep sharpening your skills. Keep learning about youth ministry. Your teenagers will never think to thank you for it. I mean, they are teenagers after all. But, it will make a difference.

A youth minister was talking to one of his students about the need of their group for more adult leaders. He told the student, “What we need are some college students. College students make the perfect youth leaders.” Was he right?

Yes, college students do make the perfect youth leaders. They are young enough to remember what it was like to be a teenager. The youth culture they grew up in was not that different from the youth culture students today are growing up in. College students have instant credibility with a lot of youth. They speak the same language, know the same music, and have seen the same movies.

College students do make the perfect youth leaders. Most of them are single and they tend to have more flexibility in the schedules. Most of them are full of energy and staying up for your all-night bowl-o-rama, anchovy pizza lock-in is not a problem for them. They are at their physical peak and they have great hair. Students will love being around them.

College students do make the perfect youth leaders. When they have made a commitment to Christ, they are passionate about it. They listen to Chris Tomlin music in their cars and download podcasts from John Piper. They can sit at Starbucks for hours talking about what the church needs to do to really reach this generation. Many of them have the kind of heart that you want in a youth leader.

Of course, college students often are pretty fickle. They are gung-ho about working with youth ministry . . . until it interferes with their preparation for Calculus or the opening of a new show. College students often have difficulty hanging in with a church if they don’t feel “fed” or “connected.” When college students bail from your youth ministry or show up sporadically, it can be a real disappointment to your students. Maybe college students aren’t the perfect youth leaders.

College students also have a hard time seeing the difference between where they are developmentally and where your 14 year old students are. They can confidently tell you that students don’t want to play games at church. What they really mean is that they don’t want to play games at church; they just have a hard time seeing why Junior High or High School students would be any different. Maybe college students aren’t the perfect youth leaders.

So, which is it? Are they perfect youth leaders or not?

Choosing youth leaders because they are young . . . or because they are old uses the wrong criteria. Does the person love God passionately? Is he or she growing in a commitment to Christ? Does he or she like teenagers and like being around them? Does he or she have the maturity to be an adult leader and the winsomeness to be a friend? Is he or she reliable? If you find a college student that meets those criteria, get him on your team. If you find a grandmother who meets those criteria, get her on your team, too.