leadership

By David Bennett

I grew up participating with “Youth Sunday,” a day for youth to take leadership in the church. So when I became a youth minister I decided to bring what I remembered to be a positive experience with me. After weeks of preparation—planning the service, writing a sermon, practicing special music, getting pointers on worship leadership, attending staff meetings, and meeting with church committees—it was time to lead the Sunday service. I did what most youth ministers would have done: I prayed for the group then left them without an adult in the room. As I took my seat near the front of the worship center I thought crossed my mind: What if I get stood up? What if they don’t file out onto the platform and into the choir loft? Would they dare leave the congregation to figure out worship without leaders?

Fortunately for me the students came through. They entered in youthful reverence and an amazing worship experience followed. I kept my job. I had considered walking in with the students, but they didn’t need me. I had worked myself out of a job. However . . . I remember other ministries where the worst thing I could have done for the students and my ministerial career would have been to turn them over to themselves—even if it was only to pass the offering plates.

Ministry is a verb. Not just for you, but for your students as well. Your weeks are spent planning, meeting, speaking, leading, promoting, and connecting. Think about what you are doing that you could hand off to your students.

Invite students to plan with you. Students who are involved in planning are more likely to not only participate, but also to encourage their friends to participate. And as good as your ideas are, their ideas may even be better.

Have meetings with your students just like you do with your church staff. Ask students to regularly meet with you on Sunday afternoons, early mornings before school, or at other times that suit their busy schedules. Include representatives from your older and younger students. Look over your calendar of events. Evaluate past events. Discuss future events and how they support your mission. In a small youth group, everyone who wants can easily participate.

Take a break from your weekly talks and let a student speak in your place. Challenge students to stand in your shoes. When appropriate prepare a student to bring the Bible study or message you usually bring. Prepare them in advance. Have them present their message to you before they go live. And be sure you are present when they do so. Don’t plug in a student the Sunday or Wednesday when you are on vacation.

Obviously, these are only a few suggestions. Encourage students to lead in worship, prayer, teaching, and leading where they are equipped to do so. Constantly look for ways to push students forward in your ministry. As you allow students to use the gifts God has given them you are sharing ministry and developing leaders. Keep saying to yourself: Less of me. More of them. Less of me. More of them. Less of me. More of them. Do your best to work yourself out of a job . . . or at least into that back seat.

David Bennett is Director of Student Discipleship at St. George’s Church in Nashville, TN. He lives in nearby Brentwood with his wife Kimberly and their three teenage daughters.

By C. Gene Wilkes

Being a servant leader is not as confusing as it may seem. “How can a servant lead?” Or, “How does a leader serve?” are two questions you may ask immediately. A servant leads like Jesus who “came not be served but to serve” (Mark 10:45) when the ministry is not about him or her but about serving students and their families so they can become maturing followers of Jesus. Servant leaders lead others to their Leader and do not make everything about their personality or cleverness. Yes, use your personality and cleverness to attract and engage students, but the goal is that their hearts connect to God, not to be infatuated with you. Servants take their cue from their Leader rather than the last conference they attended (although these may help), and they make God’s mission to make disciples priority over the activity calendar. Servant leaders in student ministry serve God first and those who God entrusts to them. Me3 is their motto.

As the leader, students, parents, and the church expect you to be proactive to complete the mission of the group and be responsive to the needs of the students and their families—all of their needs! How can one person do all that? A servant leader serves those on mission with him or her. A servant leader equips/trains students and ministry partners how to carry out the mission of the group and to meet needs. If your group’s mission, for example, is to “change the world one student at a time, whenever, wherever,” you will spend your time training students and ministry partners how to change the world this way. If a family is in crisis, a servant leader will have ministry partners trained to be first responders and partners until health and relationships are restored. The leader is not left alone to serve the family.

Servant leaders do not attempt to lead by themselves. Like Jesus who “recruited twelve, graduated eleven, and invested in three,” servant leaders serve by investing in a team of leaders who can continue the ministry in their absence and do more together than alone. Servant leadership shows itself in team ministry. Just as a basketball team cannot win a championship with one superstar, so a student ministry cannot be effective with a single superstar leader. Servant leaders joyfully share leadership so the team, not the leader, can succeed in the game of ministry.

These basics of servant leadership can help you be effective in your ministry and be a model for student leaders who mature through your ministry. Read the Gospels and see how Jesus did it. It will make all the difference in the world.

Gene Wilkes is the senior pastor of Legacy Church in Plano, TX. He is the author of Jesus on Leadership and several other books on leadership. For more help in guiding your youth group in servant leadership, check out Gene’s study, Jesus on Leadership, Student Edition.

By Theresa McMichen

I love teenagers. I love planning events for teenagers. I love listening to teenagers. I love encouraging teenagers. I just love teenagers. Teenagers are my God-given passion . . . perhaps because of my own spiritual experiences as a teen. I’m also the mom of two wonderful teenagers who don’t always want me around–shocking, I know, right! I am aware this is normal and okay, but I have one problem: For much of our small church’s history, I have been the planner, organizer,  and one of the teachers for our youth group. This role lends itself to “always being around.” If you are a parent of teen in a small church youth group, you understand the work may fall greatly on parental support and involvement. Few of us simply “drop our kids off” and go to “our” class.

Let me first say, I believe I am mom to two of the neatest, greatest, most patient teenagers in the world. They just amaze me every day! But they are teenagers and don’t want mom around all the time. How do I find balance? How do I live out my passion and still give my kids the space they need? Sometimes I don’t, sometimes I can’t, but when I do it looks a little like this:

I listen to them. I talk to them. There are times when I have to be around. For instance, if I have planned and organized camp, I really need to be there, but I try to stay in the background, not rooming with them, not leading their groups–I cook, clean, drive, and pay. On Sundays I taught high school when they were in middle school, and when they were in high school I taught middle school. Still, many days our high school and middle school groups met together . . . and I was there, teaching, leading, listening, and praying. Whether my own kids liked it or not, I was a part of their youth ministry experience at those times.

There is no magic trick to make the balance work. Sometimes I’m around when they wish I wasn’t; sometimes I’m not around when I wish I was.  Sometimes it’s strained; sometimes it’s joy. But, for me, it is a balancing act–lots of praying for direction for me and for understanding for my kids. The key for me is making sure they know this is my call, my passion from God, my act of service. Letting them know and see that I am working hard at meeting their felt needs as our ministry also meets their spiritual needs.

At times God provides youth leaders that are not parents. That seems to give our kids a break from parents and makes it easier for us to stay in the background. Regardless of my specific role at the time, it’s a blessing, a pleasure, and honor to be a part of youth ministry. I’m thankful that I have opportunity to serve and help my kids understand what that’s about. Finding balance as a parent and a youth leader? It’s being there, it’s being behind the scenes, it’s giving space, it’s not being there at all and letting others help and lead. All in its own time.

Theresa McMichen is a volunteer youth leader at the People’s Church of Oak Mountain in Birmingham, Alabama and the mom of two of the greatest teenagers in the world.

By Chuck Gartman

As Youth Ministers, no matter what the size of the church, we are always looking for people to work with youth. Whether it is a Sunday School group, a discipleship session, or just hanging out with teens, adult leaders are necessary if we want to broaden the base of our support in the church and best meet the needs of our students.  As young youth ministers, it is tempting to keep our focus on a younger set of adults to work with teens.

My suggestion is to not limit your search for workers just to younger adults. It is true that they can relate to youth because they are not far removed from them in terms of experience, but there is a vast reservoir of workers in our churches who are older, wiser, and more experienced in life–senior adults/grandparents. Sometimes seniors have more time to spare, they certainly are capable of as much love for teens as other adults, and they have a spiritual maturity that comes with age and experience. Besides, many are willing to devote lots of time to teenagers.

I’ve been “doing” Youth Ministry for over 40 years. Two of the best workers I have ever had were in their seventies. The youth not only loved them, they couldn’t wait to be in their classes. These two adults were not begging to work with youth, but they were waiting for someone to ask them. I did, and they were willing to do it. The real key was that they were willing to invest their lives in teenagers. Look for potential workers in unusual places like the senior adult department.

I serve in a church right now where we named a service award after 3 senior adult leaders who had devoted their lives to meeting the needs of teenagers. For over 170 years, these three served teenagers in our community and in our church. I wouldn’t trade anything for what these adults contributed to our ministry to students.

One other suggestion I have is that instead of just throwing a senior adult or grandparent into a group of teenagers, partner them up with a younger adult. At least two things will be accomplished: 1) There will be mutual mentoring taking place. The young  adult can learn about stability and spirituality from the older adult and gain some wisdom about how best to meet the needs of students.  2) The senior adult can learn about youth culture and how best to relate to students in the 21^st century.  To me, it’s a win-win situation.

Chuck Gartman is the Youth Ministry Professor at Howard Payne University in Brownwood, TX. He is also the President of “Go To” Ministry, Inc. Need someone to train your youth leaders in effective Bible study leadership? “Go To” is your solution. For more information call 806-535-4684.

By Chris White

Ministering to students is both challenging and rewarding. As if those challenges weren’t enough, there are times when conflict arises with another staff member or possibly your lead pastor. How you handle the conflict will impact your long-term ministry at the church. So it’s essential to establish a game plan for these situations. It’s not a matter of “if” you will experience conflict but “when”  conflict will show itself.

What not to do:

• Don’t overreact with your emotions. We all have those ‘buttons’ that move us into panic mode, and if you start pushing them, you are making the situation worse. Don’t give in to immature actions. Keep control.
• Don’t let significant time pass before discussing the problem. Time does not heal all wounds; sometimes it leads to bitterness.
• Don’t assume you are at fault. But, don’t assume the other person is the problem either. Resolution comes with understanding.
• Don’t vent to another staff member about what happened. And certainly don’t share the problem with students or adults in the ministry.
• Don’t allow the evil one to put a splinter of bitterness in your heart. This only festers and will affect you spiritually in the long haul.

What to do:

• As soon as possible, talk to your accountability partner. They can absorb the raw nature of your emotion.
• Spend time in prayer. Ask God to show you what part of the conflict is yours.
• Seek the first available opportunity to discuss the matter with the person you are having the conflict with.
• Seek forgiveness for your part in the conflict. In general, start with an apology. It’s hard to continue the conflict if you express humility.
• Discuss how to avoid this situation and others like it in the future.

In short, conflict will come. Being prepared for it will lead to a healthier experience with the team God has called you to serve.

Chris White is a veteran youth minister who lives in Edwardsville, IL. He has served churches in Arkansas, Virginia, and Illinois.

Do you ever feel overwhelmed with your youth ministry responsibilities? Ever wonder if you are giving students all they need to grow in Christ? Are there times when you feel like you are not growing fast enough to be a good roll model for your students? Do you ever wonder if your ministry could be stronger in some area . . . reaching, teaching, engaging, nurturing? If so, you might consider looking for a youth ministry mentor.

How do you go about finding someone to be your mentor?

1. Find the right kind of person. Look for someone you respect. While the person may not have to be currently engaged in youth ministry, he or she should understand students and get your call to them. He or she should have an encouraging temperament, but should also be someone who is not afraid to tell you when she/he thinks you are doing something ineffective, wrong, or stupid. He/she should be willing to make an investment in YOU, so that you can make an investment in students, their parents, and other youth leaders.Should the person be a member of your church? That depends. If you can find someone who has the right fit and enough objectivity to help you think about the ministry, he or she would be great. You may, however, have trouble talking honestly about the needs of your group (or yourself) with someone who is too closely related. You may want to find someone who is a member of another church.

   Since you will be spending regular time with your mentor, you should probably choose someone who is your own gender.

2. Ask for their help. Most likely, the right mentor for you is someone who is already busy with personal ministry, so you may feel awkward asking her/him for time. You might want to ask him/her to meet you for breakfast or lunch. You will want time to talk to her/him face to face. Explain why you think you need a mentor. Then, be specific about what you are asking him/her to do. You might request that she/he meet with you for an hour once a month to help you understand how to be most effective. Explain that you realize that may mean making personal changes as well as structural changes in ministry. If the person you have chosen turns you down, don’t take it personally. However, most people who are invested in youth ministry want to help others who have a similar calling.
3. Don’t waste time. Schedule an appointment to get started. Come with an agenda. Focus on things you believe are areas of concern: a student that seems to be unresponsive, an activity that seemed to be less effective than you had hoped, personal goals you hope to reach. Expect your mentor to probe both your motives and your work. Don’t be defensive. Remember, you asked for help. Listen and then begin making changes. You may not agree with everything your mentor suggests and that’s fine. But, you need to open to change. If your mentor senses you only want to talk and don’t actually do anything differently, your mentor will feel like he/she is wasting time.
4. Show appreciation. Find ways to show your mentor appreciation. Insist on treating if you are meeting over a meal. Tell them how they are helping you. Consider a small, appropriate gift.

By Paul G. Kelly

Lately, I’ve been reading through the stories of King David. And once again I am struck by how he handled King Saul, a man driven toward murder by his own jealousy and anger. Not once, but twice God placed Saul directly into David’s hands and both times David chose to extend grace. When Saul was finally killed and David was anointed king over Judah, David did not rejoice over the turn of events, but mourned the loss of God’s choice for the first king.

Perhaps the reason David could be a man after God’s own heart was because his own heart was not so full of himself. He actually had room for God in his heart.

Youth ministry can be one of those thankless jobs. You are a lot more likely to get blamed for the bathroom being flooded . . . after all, it probably was one of the middle school kids . . . than appreciated for your investment. In fact, sometimes people can be down right mean. A friend of mine is currently struggling with his part-time ministry position because another minister is jealous of how much he is liked.

I don’t suppose it should surprise us when people ignore our efforts . . . or are critical of them. Surely David at times must have felt the same way we feel. And yet, he was a man after God’s own heart. Being a great youth minister is not dependent on the respect or thanks of the congregation. In some churches, you will never do youth ministry if you are waiting for that. When we let our hearts be so full of our love for God that we see even our enemies through that love . . . well, that is a foundation for great youth ministry.

Today, you may be frustrated by your relationships at church. Ask God to help you to see others through His love and trust that He will lift you up in His timing. Be quick to forgive and quick to speak kind words.

By Russell Johnson

I’ll cut to the chase: No matter how many people show up, no matter how much money is in your budget, or even how talented you may be . . . worship starts in the heart!

“…Sing and make music to the Lord with your hearts.” —Eph. 5:18-19

Don’t get me wrong.  All those other things help support the worship time, but they don’t necessarily fuel it.  For leaders who have a small group, I would like to approach this topic in two ways: first by encouraging you to build a culture of worship in the hearts of your group, and second by helping you create opportunities for students to respond in worship.

Building a culture of Worship begins with you.  Do your students see you worship?  As I lead worship I always try to help paint a picture of what worship is . . . and what it’s not.   Because of the way our churches are historically setup, most people think Sunday is the only time we worship.  We call them, “Sunday Worship Services.”  We need to help students understand that Worship is a lifestyle.  More than the hour on Sunday or the Student ministry gathering, it has to be a perpetual theme in our daily lives.  Giving students biblical insights to all the different ways we may worship is key.  Music is just one aspect. There’s also prayer, thanksgiving, tithing, reading scripture, painting, communion, interpretive movement, serving, and more.   From my experience, students are eager to know more about Worship and what it means.  Everything we do should be an act of worship.

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”–Colossians 3:17

As you strive to build this Worship culture in your group there are some practical things that may help students respond:

• In a more intimate worship setting, song selection is critical.  Songs need to be singable.  Don’t try and teach too many new songs at one time.  People like to sing songs they know.  You’ll soon see which tunes become your group’s favorites.  Next, build your teaching times around a particular song and allow the students to sing the song at the end of the session with a new found understanding of what they are saying to God or about Him.

• Allow your students to take ownership of the worship.  Enlist students to pray, read scripture, or lead music.

• Have your worship time in a completely different setting.  Occasionally, change locations so it’s not always the same.

• Give students a tangible way of responding in Worship (e.g., writing something down, laying something on the altar, bringing an offering, praying for each other).  You can also encourage your group to come up with ways they can serve the community as an act of worship.

Ultimately, worship is to be our response to who God is and what He has done. Hopefully, we can all catch the vision of what Jesus was saying when He said that we should, “Worship in spirit and in truth”.   – John 4:24

Russell Johnson is a worship leader, singer, and song-writer. He and his wife Kristi lead worship across the United States and have just released their worship album, “Arise.” To find out more about Russell and his ministry, check out www.russellandkristi.com.

A friend of mine who pastors a growing church is looking for a new youth minister. Trying to find the right person is important to their fellowship . . . and he has been out of the youth ministry loop for some time. He explained that years ago he had been told that if you wanted to engage high school students in ministry, having an athletic youth leader who would get them playing sports was the key. Later, students were attracted to music and finding a youth leader who uses music in ministry is what brings students into the group. So, what attracts teenagers to youth ministry today?

Honestly, some students will still be attracted by sports and having a youth leader who lives sports is a good connection for some. And, some students will be attracted by music. Giving students the opportunity to make music as well as hear it will be a good connection for some students.

Youth culture has become much more divergent. Many students love sports, but their interests range from field hockey to gymnastics. The fact that students have the time to invest in . . . and get good at . . . sports has led to growth in more school-based and community-based sports leagues. But, it is unlikely you will find a whole group of students around your church who love volleyball. Likewise, it would be a mistake to say that music is NOT a part of youth culture. It is! The problem with how you use that in the youth group to attract students is that for some kids it is all about Lady Antebellum; for others Lady Gaga. And everything in between.

I believe there are two keys in this multi-faceted, global youth culture that are essential to drawing students into your church’s youth ministry. First, relationships! Students are engaged by people who genuinely care about them, who take time to listen to them, who take interest in their lives, and who share their lives with students. Buy a smoke machine and turn your youth room into a hip-hop church if you want to, but adults (and students) who care about every kid who wanders is the glue that will make them stick.

Second, vision! That may be too simple a word. What I mean is, students want to be a part of something important, something that is changing the world. Most teenagers have not committed much of themselves to the mission of the church because the mission of the churches they have gone to is simply not worth much commitment. For some, that will mean traveling the world and being on stage telling people about Christ. For others that would be too intimidating. For some filling shoe boxes with toiletries for children in an third-world orphanage would seem like a hands-on way to make a real difference. For others, that would seem too far removed from the action. Still, regardless of the specific way they would prefer to make a difference, students need to believe what they are doing is important.

Small churches may never be able to field a lacrosse team. And they may never have the talent for a youth praise band. But every small church can do those two things: give kids deep relationships and a vision worth their lives. If your church is struggling to reach students, start asking questions about these things.