leadership

Get a group of youth leaders together and ask them about older youth. They will almost all begin to talk about how few older students stay involved in the youth group as they move toward high school graduation. Students begin to drive, get part-time jobs, are involved in an increasing number of activities, have more freedom to spend time on their own with friends . . . and seem to have less time for youth group. In small youth groups, we feel the press even more because we have so few older students to start with. Is this trend something we have to live with? Are students always going to move away from our youth ministries as they mature?

Maybe. As parents give their students more freedom to make their own decisions, some young men and women are going to opt out of youth ministry. I think our strategy with those students is to find new ways to challenge them. Help them not to graduate out of their faith because they feel like they have graduated out of the youth group.

However, we lose some students because of the way we do youth ministry. Think about it. a student enters the youth group around age 12 with huge excitement and high expectations. They are excited about things like youth camp, mission projects; time with older students they admire and time away from parents. And that excitement is enough to hold their attention . . . for a year or two. Eventually, all of the excitement fades. Youth camp becomes one of many optional activities. And some of the older students they once admired don’t seem as cool as they once did. Students develop a “been-there-done-that” attitude toward youth ministry. At the same time, they are striving to become the president of the student class, or the head cheer-leader, or the drum major of the band . . . roles that give them new challenges and more responsibility. Is it any wonder that students begin to drop out of our youth groups.

If we want our young people to continue to find our youth ministries engaging, we need to find ways to raise the challenge for them. I know, you don’t have the resources to develop a high school seniors seminar in apologetics. It might not help if you could. But the answer may not be all that tough. Give your older students status in your group. Ask for them to teach part of the Bible study lesson, not just sit in a class full of younger students. Give them responsibility for caring for younger students. Find their gifts and get them plugged into ministry projects in the youth group, in the church, or in the community. Raise the bar for students and many will respond.

When I talk to professional youth ministers about SmallYouthGroup.com, a lot of them give me strange looks. Why would you develop a website that “celebrates” a youth ministry being small? Shouldn’t we be trying to build “big” youth groups? It is exciting to minister to large groups of teenagers. And, of course, more young people growing in their faith is better than a few young people growing in their faith. However, there are some good reasons to invest in youth ministry in a small church.

Jesus definitely taught big groups of people. In the Gospels you read about the big tent revivals Jesus did by the Sea of Galilee . . . and Jesus didn’t even have a tent. Jesus had a number of disciples who believed in him and followed him. He sent them out on mission in Luke 9. And we are surprised by Jesus’ “secret” disciples who begged his body from Pilate for burial after his crucifixion. However, Jesus invested most of his time with twelve men . . . some of them may have been teenagers. Why do you think he did that?

I don’t think we can ever wholly understand Jesus’ intentions. He is God. However, I believe part of the reason for Jesus’ investment in the Twelve was that he was able to pour his life into their lives. He was able to guide them in intimate settings to see the God he knew and could model for them how to serve that God. Small youth groups provide that kind of opportunity.

Actually, I am convinced that no youth leader, regardless of how good he or she is, can be effective at discipling a youth group of many more than twelve. Youth leaders in large groups who are actually effective have to have many leaders who are pouring their lives into smaller groups of youth. Many large youth groups are experimenting with youth ministry in ways that are automatic in small youth groups:

• Involving parents in the ministry.
• Creating small groups that contain older and younger youth so that older youth can encourage their younger peers.
• Allowing a leader to continue to work with the same group of youth for a number of years instead of having them simply promote to the next teacher at the end of the school year.

Youth ministry should follow the lead of Jesus and Jesus invested his life in a small group of disciples.

So, am I suggesting that youth groups are better off staying small? Not at all. I am suggesting that we are obedient to God in the place he has put us. That includes raising the youth in our care to grow in their relationship with God. It includes making Christ known to the youth we have opportunity to influence. It includes helping our youth ministries to be places that are on mission. Then, we trust God to bring growth.

“I only have five kids in my youth group. I don’t really need a lot of training.” I’m afraid a lot of youth leaders in small church may feel exactly that way. Training is for folks who work with hundreds of youth leaders, not for those of us who wonder if we are going to have anyone show up for our Sunday morning Bible study. Right?

I don’t really think so. I think students need our best and that means we continue to sharpen our skills. Youth culture is always changing. We can never be strong enough in Bible knowledge. New research is finding out more about the teenagers we work with all the time. And church structures change from region to region and decade to decade. Our teenagers are worth the effort to improve our skills.

So, let’s assume for the sake of argument that you agree with me. Let’s assume you see the need for on-going training. How do you get it? A friend of mine has identified five areas in which volunteer youth leaders need training. (These same areas aren’t bad for paid youth leaders either.)

1. We need training in Bible knowledge. Someone has said that the Bible is shallow enough for a child to understand that “Jesus love me this I know,” but is deep enough for the deepest theologian to swim all his life without touching bottom. We can all deepen our understanding of the Word of God. It will make our teaching stronger and our lives a richer picture of a committed follower of Christ.

2. We need training in Adolescent Development. The teen brain is a fascinating piece of creation. It is becoming an adult brain and leaving behind the workings of a childhood brain, but it is actually neither one. If we really are to understand and care for teens, we need to have a good understanding of what is happening in their bodies as they grow into adults.

3. We need training in Youth Culture. If you were looking for Richie Cunningham and the soda fountain today, you would probably not find him. Instead, he would be on Facebook. Or maybe just sitting in the back of class texting his friends. Teen culture used to change about every 10 years. Now, youth culture is morphing into something new almost every year.

4. We need training in Teaching Methods. The changes in youth culture coupled with the uniqueness of the time of life of adolescence means that teenagers tend to learn differently than children and definitely differently than adults. The more creative teaching arrows you have in your lesson preparation quiver, the more effective you will be in guiding teenagers toward eternal truths in a way they can absorb and apply.

5. We need training in Leadership. How do you become the kind of person a teenager would want to model their life after? How you deal with everything from flying gum in the Bible study class to listening to the girl who shares that she has been molested shows what kind of leader you are. Being a youth leader is NOT easy. Those who claim it is no big deal just don’t understand. Not every day will be a huge challenge, but challenges will come and you need to be developing the skills to deal with those challenges.

So, where do you get all of this training? Since I’m a seminary professor, you would expect me to say that one of the places you can get it is in a seminary classroom. In most seminaries you can be enrolled as a special student. You don’t have to pursue a Master of Divinity in order to get some formal training. Many seminaries offer Bible classes, youth education classes, and leadership classes in non-traditional formats–on weekends, on an evening, or over the Internet. The training you can receive at seminary is really worth the investment.

However, you can also find training seminars through organizations like Group, Youth Specialties, or LifeWay. Check their website for up-coming training events. Your local denominational offices might offer training. In fact, some denominations have trained consultants that can give you one-to-one instruction, or can come to your church to train you and your co-leaders.

If all else fails, read. I try to recommend books I read that I think are helpful for small church youth leaders on this site. Recent recommendations have included:

• Richard Ross, Student Ministry and the Supremacy of Christ
• Walt Mueller, Youth Culture 101
• Vaugh Roberts, God’s Big Picture: Tracing the Storyline of the Bible
• Doug Fields, Your First Two Years in Youth Ministry

I can add a free downloadable book on adolescent development written by Allen Jackson: Introducing the 21st Century Teenager available at www.lifeway.com/Understanding/Youth/index.asp.

Regardless of how you do it, keep sharpening your skills. Keep learning about youth ministry. Your teenagers will never think to thank you for it. I mean, they are teenagers after all. But, it will make a difference.

A youth minister was talking to one of his students about the need of their group for more adult leaders. He told the student, “What we need are some college students. College students make the perfect youth leaders.” Was he right?

Yes, college students do make the perfect youth leaders. They are young enough to remember what it was like to be a teenager. The youth culture they grew up in was not that different from the youth culture students today are growing up in. College students have instant credibility with a lot of youth. They speak the same language, know the same music, and have seen the same movies.

College students do make the perfect youth leaders. Most of them are single and they tend to have more flexibility in the schedules. Most of them are full of energy and staying up for your all-night bowl-o-rama, anchovy pizza lock-in is not a problem for them. They are at their physical peak and they have great hair. Students will love being around them.

College students do make the perfect youth leaders. When they have made a commitment to Christ, they are passionate about it. They listen to Chris Tomlin music in their cars and download podcasts from John Piper. They can sit at Starbucks for hours talking about what the church needs to do to really reach this generation. Many of them have the kind of heart that you want in a youth leader.

Of course, college students often are pretty fickle. They are gung-ho about working with youth ministry . . . until it interferes with their preparation for Calculus or the opening of a new show. College students often have difficulty hanging in with a church if they don’t feel “fed” or “connected.” When college students bail from your youth ministry or show up sporadically, it can be a real disappointment to your students. Maybe college students aren’t the perfect youth leaders.

College students also have a hard time seeing the difference between where they are developmentally and where your 14 year old students are. They can confidently tell you that students don’t want to play games at church. What they really mean is that they don’t want to play games at church; they just have a hard time seeing why Junior High or High School students would be any different. Maybe college students aren’t the perfect youth leaders.

So, which is it? Are they perfect youth leaders or not?

Choosing youth leaders because they are young . . . or because they are old uses the wrong criteria. Does the person love God passionately? Is he or she growing in a commitment to Christ? Does he or she like teenagers and like being around them? Does he or she have the maturity to be an adult leader and the winsomeness to be a friend? Is he or she reliable? If you find a college student that meets those criteria, get him on your team. If you find a grandmother who meets those criteria, get her on your team, too.

It was years ago. I was a seminary student and a youth ministry volunteer at my church. Jannette Clift George was speaking at a conference for Christian leaders. George had played in the movie, “The Hiding Place” and had started the Christian acting troupe, the A.D. Players. The place was packed with people who wanted to hear what she had to say. She started talking about her investment in local church ministry. So often, she explained, she felt like she was all alone. She was trying to do things that would make a difference in the lives of people the church was seeking to meet and no one would help. No one would come along side her. George said that, again and again, she would pray for someone to help her. She felt alone and tired. She wanted to give up was felt like she was doing the will of God. So she kept plugging away. Finally, she said that she reached the end of what she could do. She told us that she looked to god and said, “I give up, God. That’s it! I give up.” Her next statement was what surprised me. She said, “I heard this sigh of relief from heaven.”

I didn’t get it. Why would George think God would be pleased by her giving up? It made no sense to me and hardly seemed like the kind of message you should give to a room of Christian leaders. “God is relieved when we finally give up”? Try to find that in the Bible.

Today, I think I understand what Jeannette Clift George was trying to say. So many of us think that real ministry is about doing more and more. We run from event to event trying to keep all of them going. We never stop to consider whether it makes any difference in the lives our the students we work with if we have one more laser tag event this month.

In John 4, Jesus was able to care for the needs of the woman at the well because he was sitting. He hadn’t gone into town with his disciples. He was simply available. I suppose Jesus knew the woman was coming–after all, he is God. I suppose he was waiting for her. But it still occurs to me that I can get so involved in the activities–in doing ministry, that I may not be available when I could be addressing the heart needs of students.

I don’t think George was telling us to give up on God or give up on the people we minister to. I think she was telling us to give up on our own agendas. Give up on trying to create a new a better youth event so students won’t go to the church down the street. Give up on trying to out-do your ice cream-o-rama from last month with more ice cream, more chocolate sauce, and more kids. Give up worrying whether you kids think you are the coolest youth leader in history. Give up.

Instead of all the activity, draw close to God. And look for students who need to be loved. Trust God to put the pieces together.

Whether you are working with two students or two dozen, doing youth ministry on your own will limit your ministry. Youth ministry works best as a team sport. Sure, you might be the Kobe Bryant of youth ministry, but even Kobe needs someone to pass him the ball. A team of youth leaders helps you to touch different kinds of teenagers, offer different approaches to ministry, and find support from other members of the team. In almost every situation, if you have help in youth ministry, your youth ministry will be stronger.

So, let’s assume that you have decided who you will ask to help you in the ministry. How do you approach him or her?

First, no whining or apologizing. Youth ministry is the most exciting ministry anyone can be a part of in the church. You are offering someone the opportunity to get a front row seat to see God move a pimply-faced 13 year old into a confident and committed high school graduate who is committed to living his life for maximum impact on the kingdom of God. One of your students may be the next Billy Graham and most of the people in your church won’t notice him until he’s gone. Who wouldn’t want to be a part of that?

Second, no begging. If God is not moving a person toward youth ministry, he is not the right person. Remember that God may change his mind later, but start looking for someone else.

Third, no newsletter announcements, letters, or phone calls. Make an appointment . . . maybe over lunch. Talk to her face to face. Tell her what you see in her that you think would help your youth ministry and invite her to get involved.

Fourth, no vague pleas for help. Have in mind exactly what you would like to him to do. Let him know that there is more than one way he can get involved, but what you would really like him to commit to doing is . . . Be specific. He may have a counter offer (which if fine), but let him know what you would like from him.

Fifth, no fuzzy estimates of the time the job will take. Do your best to estimate how many hours you are asking for and when those hours will be. Give him a clear understanding of how much time it will take to show up for Sunday school, prepare a lesson every other week, and come to a monthly youth activity — if that’s the help you need.

Sixth, no sink or swim approaches to youth leadership. Get your new youth leader to some training. Talk with her about how to do youth ministry. Be there to support her until she begins to feel comfortable. Talk often. Provide support, encouragement, and direction as she needs it.

by Nancy Hamilton

School is back in session. Youth ministry events and ministry dates are on the church calendar by now.  You are ready for the great things God has for you and your students. God has called you to minister to students who show up at your church each week, but do you truly delight in the work God has given you with youth? Do little things pop up and rob you of the job of serving him and serving his young people?

Psalm 37 tells us, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Nothing affects our personal lives . . . and our ministry like our desires. A true heart desire is unaffected by your mood or your surroundings. It is what you long for and are willing to wait for.

What personal things do you desire for this new school year as a follower of Christ? How about for your student ministry?

The reason many of us lose our heart’s desires for ourselves and our ministry is that we allow things to rob us of our “delights.” Beware of these delight-robbers:

• Jealousy–Perhaps you are seeing things you don’t have rather than the things you do. If God placed you in a larger church, you might be able to touch more students. But, allow the faces of your students to penetrate your heart. They need you. Your gifts. Your abilities. Your God-centered love. Don’t be jealous of what God has given to others in their ministry. Treasure what he has given you.

• Anger–Are there unresolved issues deep in your heart that have lingered for a bit too long? Is there someone in your circle who can help you be accountable for those things that are seeded in past hurt or disappointment that have grown into suppressed anger toward a person? Ministry? Church? Learn the joy of forgiveness. Release your anger and allow God to replace it with love.

• Worry–Nothing will do you in like worry. I once heard a well-known pastor say, “When we worry, we take God’s place.” When we worry about things of which we have no control, we are vying for God’s place of authority. Let me encourage you–God has the comings and goings of the entire world, it’s needs, your student ministry, your family, and you–all in the palm of His hand. He’s doing just fine and probably doesn’t need our help.

When you delight in God and his desires for you, those desires will transform into things that are inevitable:  a heart to know Him deeper, a passion to see students share Christ on their campus, and an opportunity to see students serve their families and peers. Take some concentrated time this new school year to pray your guts out to God. Cry out to Him. Beg for His mercy. Long for His direction and blessing. You never make a petition to God that He does not hear. Do good, be patient, and trust God to act in His timing. The work you are doing will not be forgotten by Him or your students.

Nancy Hamilton serves as the Minister to Women and Girls at Fellowship Bible Church in Little Rock, Arkansas.

You plan a mission project for your students. You are going to surprise some of your older church members by doing yard work for them. However, one elderly grandmother is a little too surprised at your students raking her leaves and calls the police. After the embarrassment of trying to explain what you were doing to a couple of angry police, you start to get the calls from angry parents and an angry pastor. As one parent hauls her son home, you hear the youth say, “That’s the last time I come to any of these mission projects.”

Maybe nothing like that has ever happened to you. Personally, I’ve led my share of projects that just haven’t worked. I had a prayer meeting at my house once not realizing my air conditioner had gone out. It was cool enough, until all the kids started showing up. We prayed together . . . but I probably should have cut the prayer time shorter. I got chased out of a mall once for trying to get students to distribute tracts there. I even managed to get students all mad at me once for taking them to an amusement park. (I still can’t figure that one out.)

So, what do you do when the wheels come off and things just don’t work?

First, don’t pretend like the event was okay. If it was a disaster, just admit it was a disaster. The fault will probably not be yours alone, but don’t try to explain why things went so bad. It is seldom any good to try to pass the buck. Admitting an activity didn’t go very well and asking for forgiveness is usually the best strategy.

Second, figure out how to head off similar problems that might come up in the future. A phone call to the elderly lady or the mall might have solved a lot of problems.

Third, may of us in youth ministry are not detail people. We tend to think about the big picture and miss the little details it takes to produce the big picture. Make sure you have some detail people who are helping you in ministry.

While youth, their parents, and the pastor are likely to forgive you for messing up on some activities, they will be more forgiving if that is the exception. Make sure that you take the time to do careful planning, even if that means you have to do fewer activities. Approach youth ministry with a passion for excellence . . . and then forgive yourself when one of those activities inevitably falls apart.

The most common problem I hear from youth leaders is not having enough help. Planning games, teaching, finding mission projects, working on camp . . . youth ministry is a lot of work. In a lot of churches, the work all falls to one or two volunteer leaders. How do you get more help?

God calls leaders when he wants to accomplish something. When we don’t have enough leaders in a ministry, it is because of one of two problems: either we are trying to do things that God never called us to do, or the people God is calling to invest in the ministry have not yet responded to his call.

Perhaps the first strategy to implement as you look for more help is to ask God to show you what he wants you to do. It is possible that the best way to help your ministry is to quit doing some things that God never called you to do. The denomination may have told you that you need to do it. Other churches may be invested in it. Folks at the church may expect it to be done. But, ask the question of God and of other church leaders: Is this what God has called us to do?

So, how do you find the help to do the things God has called your church to do in your youth ministry? Here are my suggestions:

1. Pray. I suppose that sounds trite, but I’m serious. If God is the one who calls out the workers for what he wants done, we need to start our enlistment of workers by asking God to reveal to us who he has called.
2. Watch. Look for people who love God and love teenagers.
3. Train. Strange that I would list training above enlisting, isn’t it? Too often, we enlist people who don’t understand the job we are enlisting them for. Training may be a formal training class at your church, a training seminar offered by someone else, or a mentorship where someone watches you do ministry. However you approach training, invite people you think God might be calling to find out more about youth ministry.
4. Enlist. Ask adults to consider serving in the youth ministry. Tell them specifically what you have in mind, but leave the door open for them to suggest a different role for themselves.
5. Support. Once you have a new youth leader, expect him or her to be more work for you for the first few months. New youth leaders will need some time getting acquainted with the youth, getting to know youth materials, and getting comfortable with their role. Give them lots of support as they get started.
6. Freedom. New youth leaders who are worth their salt are going to want to try doing things in a different way. They are going to have their own opinions about how to disciple teenagers. Allow them to experiment (in ways that won’t cause damage to the kids or the church).

Most youth leaders get in a hurry when they start enlisting new youth leaders. Fiinding the right youth leaders is not a quick process. It takes careful prayer and an investment of tiem. Take your time and look for God’s guidance.

Who has the primary responsibility of discipling a teenager? Is it his youth leader at church? His pastor? A paid youth worker? A Sunday School teacher? Not really. The job really belongs to his parents. How do you help parents take on the roll of discipler?

First, understand that parents are discipling their teenagers. Youth researcher Christian Smith says that if you want to know what the faith of a teenager will be like just take a look at the faith of their parents. Most young people grow up with the faith they see modeled by their parents. So, in a sense, every parent of a member of your youth group is doing discipleship. The problem is that they are not necessarily modeling genuine faith.

As you interact with parents, let them know that they are the primary disciplers of their teenagers. Any time you get to be around parents, tell them that the faith of their teenagers will probably be very similar to the faith of their parents. Parents may not realize what a huge role they play in the faith development of their youth.

How do you help parents who want to take their responsibility as disciplers more seriously? The biggest thing they can do is walk with God. I don’t mean show up at church. I mean that they pursue God with their whole heart. Spiritual disciplines can be important, but not as rituals. Bible study classes can enhance their walk with Christ. But it is not what they do on the outside that will make a difference–it is having a heart devoted to God.

Then, encourage them to live their faith outloud. While faith does have a private dimension, it was never intended to be only a personal thing. We draw strength and grow from a shared faith . . . especially among those we know best and love most. Encourage them to share their faith journey with their teenagers . . . their struggles and their victories.

In the way you minister to students, make sure you acknowledge that you can only supplement what a teenager gets a home. God may choose to use you in ways beyond imagination. But keep working at encouraging parents to take the primary role.