13 Lessons I Learned from a 13-Year-Old

Lesson Three: Laugh at Yourself—They Will!

If you work with students, there will be laughter. Sometimes there will be laughter while you are trying to teach. Teenagers love to laugh and they will take just about any opportunity to do it.

It’s not that seriousness is bad in youth ministry. We need to tell teenagers the truths of God with passion. Even so, at some point when you least expect it the generation gap will catch up with you. You will make some innocent statement that your teenagers will find incredibly funny. How you handle situations like that speaks volumes to your students.

Being able to laugh at yourself bridges the gap between students and leaders. Laughing at yourself shows humility and authenticity. After all, real people do funny things. Real people make mistakes. You can pretend you don’t, but students have trouble relating to people who seem to be perfect. Most of the time, you connect with young people when you are willing to find humor in your own words . . . even when you were trying to be serious.

Go ahead. Laugh at yourself. Let the chuckle escape.

Sharing laughter is a deep human experience, like sharing tears or breaking bread. Laughter, like tears, is the mortar of relationships. And it goes a long way in youth ministry.

Zach Skipper has spent over 12 years working with students. He has served as a youth minister, speaker, and bible study teacher. He is currently leading Bigtime Ministries while part-time coaching at one of the country’s leading Junior Highs in Birmingham, AL. To find out more about Zach’s ministry, contact him at www.bigtimeministries.com.

Lesson Two: SAY HI and BYE, Before They Fly By.

I work with a head coach of the football team that has been coaching almost thirty years. I noticed that he would position himself by the door as players left after practice so that he could say bye to each one as they passed. It’s simple I know, but it is powerful. I followed suit.  Now I’m the one that doesn’t miss a chance to hail and farewell the guys.

The youth minister I interned with during my college years was gifted at greeting students, too. He would rattle off a list of “Hi Jeff, Hi Lisa, Hi Zach, Hi Todd,” as a mob entered the doors of the room.

I rarely miss an opportunity to give a high-five or a pound and say hi and bye. As students leave the classroom, I try to get as many as I can. Call students out by name (“Hi, Henry!” or “Bye, Caroline!”) as they leave the classroom or church building. It demonstrates how much you treasure them being there.

Zach Skipper has spent over 12 years working with students. He has served as a youth minister, speaker, and bible study teacher. He is currently leading Bigtime Ministries while part-time coaching at one of the country’s leading Junior Highs in Birmingham, AL. To find out more about Zach’s ministry, contact him at www.bigtimeministries.com.

Lesson One: CALL Them BY NAME, Nothing Else is the Same.

“You remembered my name!” are the words I hear when I pull out the name of a student who I just met the other day. That exclamation could be translated as, “Wow! He cared enough to remember me,” “He knows me,” “He notices me,” “He cares!” One student told me the other day that he spent a whole basketball season with a coach who mispronounced his name every time throughout the season even after some of the other players tried to clue him in. The student then told me, “I didn’t like that coach!” Relationships start by an exchange of names. When you call a student by their name, it shows that you value them. A student’s name is the most personal and individualized word you can speak to him. “Hey you,” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

I even try to go to the next level, bestowing nicknames on my students. These usually just happen, but it definitely shows a level of attention to the student. Besides, a nickname is something only you and the student (and perhaps a few others) know him by. Nicknames show you are fun-loving and not so formal.

Learning names is a challenge for some of us. When you meet a new student, try to use their name at least three times before you end the conversation. Use a memory aid if you need to. If the student’s name is Ben, picture him bald like Benjamin Franklin. Think about another Jill this Jill reminds you of. And, if you forget a student’s name, just ask for it again. That definitely shows more interest in the student than pretending like you remember.

Then, call them by their name as much as possible.

Zach Skipper has spent over 12 years working with students. He has served as a youth minister, speaker, and bible study teacher. He is currently leading Bigtime Ministries while coaching part-time at one of the country’s leading Junior Highs in Birmingham, AL. To find out more about Zach’s ministry, contact him at www.bigtimeministries.com.