By Paul G. Kelly

Drinking alcohol for the purpose of getting intoxicated has become a significant part of the experience of youth adults. At least, that is the conclusion of Christian Smith based on a significant research project looking at the lives of 18- to 24-year-olds in America. I know, big news, right? We all know that large numbers of college students drink to excess. The thing that caught me in Smith’s findings in Lost in Transition is that he suggests that young adults believe they are just living out the life script our culture has given them. They claim going to parties and getting drunk is fun, but when pressed about what is fun about it, most of them admit it is really kind of boring. The only thing that seems to make the parties fun is that they are getting drunk. And that seems to lead to more frustrations and heart-aches that fond memories. So, why do they drink? They have been told that they are young and should be enjoying themselves. Everything they see seems to suggest that the appropriate way for a 20-year-old American to behave is to go to parties and get drunk as they are wandering through the college curriculum or enduring the military training.

I know, you are thinking I’ve lost my way. This is not supposed to be a blog about young adults, but about teenagers. Reading this book about young adults has just got me thinking: These are the adults that we are producing in youth ministry? I mean, I’d like to believe that those who are attending our youth groups are the exception. I’d like to think that they are the anomalies that are making great life decisions and, if they try alcohol at all, it’s only to taste wine at communion. The problem is, the research doesn’t seem to confirm that. And more, reconnecting with lots of former youth group members on Facebook has left me a little shell-shocked at how little influence the church seems to have had on many young adults.

At church on Sunday, I was talking to one of our 16-year-old guys. He’s a believer who is growing in his faith. The chairman of our deacons, a good godly man, walked up and asked him, “How is school going?” The young man replied that it was going okay. Then, the well-meaning deacon asked, “So, are you having fun?” The young man said, “Sure.” The deacon smiled at him and said, “Good, because that’s what it’s all about, right?” Is it? I don’t want to discourage kids from having fun, but is that what it’s all about? If so, it seems to me Jesus should retract a lot of what He said in the Gospels. Is it possible that even well-meaning, spiritually-oriented leaders have unintentionally perpetuated the cultural script that being a young person is about nothing but having fun? Is it possible that when teenagers go to parties and drink to excess, they are only trying to fulfill what we have told them is our expectations for their lives?

I may not be able to change the culture for the next crop of young adults, but I certainly can use the bit of influence I have with the dozen or so students at our little church to teach them that life is about more than fun. Sure, life is full of laughter and fun experiences, but those are not the things that life is about. Life is about a commitment to Christ that sometimes is fun, sometimes is difficult, sometimes brings laughter, and sometimes brings tears, but is ALWAYS worth it. Life is about sharing relationships with those God has put in my world. Life is about the adventure of God’s mission, using the gifts He has given me to be a little part of what God is up to in the world.

Talk about the problems of intoxication. But more than that, give kids a bigger life script than to do whatever it takes to have fun.

By Paul Kelly

For many of us, the Christmas holidays (holy-days) are the most happy and meaningful days of the year. Unfortunately, that is not true for everyone. The days of gift-giving, feasting, and celebrating, some people struggle with their worst experiences of depression of the year. Why do so many people deal with depression at the holidays? And how can your youth ministry help?

Christmas is the celebration of the advent of the Christ, and our celebration of it is wrapped up in family. That may be the source of the problem for many people.

• Broken families create a sense of dysfunction that makes the holidays feel hollow.
• Loss of family members to death through the previous year make Christmas feel more lonely.
• Disappointment over family not turning out as expected feels particularly acute during Christmas.

So, how can your youth ministry make a difference?

1. Take note of those who have lost loved ones in your congregation. Take your youth group to visit them to carole or deliver cookies. What you do is not all that important. What matters is showing extra love to those who are missing a spouse, a parent, or a child.
2. Plan some special events for your youth. Christmas can be very busy for you and other adults. It may be easiest to avoid special events for youth because of everything else that is going on. But some teenagers in your group may have more of a sense of family in the youth group than they do in their home. Little gifts your youth ministry gives to students may be the most thoughtful gifts some students receive. Time to sing around a piano or bake cookies together may be the only opportunity some of your students get to do things like these.
3. Create opportunities for students to give to others during the Christmas season. Teenagers need to be taught the old lesson that to give is more blessed than to receive. But it may be especially important for students who are disappointed with what their family does for them at Christmas. Learning the increased blessing of helping others at Christmas can help students to find joy by getting their focus on others.

Christmas is a wonderful time of the year. It is also a wonderful time to minister to the people in your community. Even though you have a lot going on, give some thought to what will help those who are having a sad Christmas in your church.

By Chuck Gartman

“Freedom!!!” William Wallace cries in the last scene of “Braveheart.” The sound and pathos reach out, grab you, and capture your emotions. A similar thing happens in the movie, “Independence Day,” starring Bill Pullman, who plays the President of the United States. His speech as the troops are preparing to attack the aliens is one of the best fictional inspirational speeches I have ever seen or heard. Old movies, to be sure, but the principle of emotion-grabbing is common to nearly every movie.

Don’t forget the subtle advertising in movies, either. Have you seen a Pepsi can or a bag of Doritos or a Starbuck’s shop in any movies recently? If so, you may have been influenced to buy some of those products. All this is to say that movies have a tremendous impact on the lives of youth. They capture our imagination, our emotions, and our actions. We can’t ignore that influence. As Youth Leaders, we need to remind our students often of this influence.

One person has said that we either have to engage the culture or it will engage us, so the thoughts in this article relate to the former statement. I believe there must be some intentionality about our movie attendance. For me personally, I love movies, but if I am not careful, I will let them influence me in adverse ways, so we need to guard our hearts.

Think with me about Hollywood’s view of the world. If we are not intentional about our movie watching we may be drawn into the lifestyles the movies are portraying. All of the following statements are in direct opposition to our Christian’s world view.

1. Sex has no consequences and it’s definitely ok outside of marriage
2. Bad guys win without consequences—consider the numerous reality TV shows now.
3. Christians are naïve and often misguided buffoons.
4. A beautiful body is a good body.
5. You can’t have fun without drinking alcohol or using tobacco in some form.
6. Life is boring and you have to do extreme things to make it interesting
7. The dishonorable is honorable.
8. More violence and horror is better.
9. Religion is a crutch.

With the preceding thoughts as the backdrop here are a few thoughts about intentional movie watching.

1. Work at building a screening system into your mind. What I mean by this is that you need judge everything that goes into your mind via movies (and other media, for that matter) by Christian principles. You obviously cannot know and practice Christian principles unless you are reading/studying the Bible, praying, worshiping, and meeting regularly with other Christians in fellowship.If something on the screen is wrong—whether it’s a word, an action, an attitude, or lifestyle, judge it as it is—wrong. Then when you find yourself in a similar situation you will already know what is wrong and can refrain. Of course, the opposite is true as well. If something is good, judge it as it is and you will be prone to act appropriately when you find yourself in similar situations.
2. “De-emotionalize.” Identify emotions that draw you into movies—fear, sensuality, concern, violence, etc. When you feel yourself being drawn into an emotion that you know is not a good one for you as a Christian, acknowledge it, and intentionally say to yourself, “I will not be influenced here.” Be careful to be aware of the subtle messages, as well, because they are many.
3. Avoid extremes. Just because a movie has a certain rating doesn’t mean that it is to be avoided at all cost. (You would have missed The Passion of the Christ, Braveheart, The Matrix, and Gladiator, just to name a few, if you have that reasoning). It does, however, require wisdom and discernment from God as you watch it. (Please do not use this as an excuse to go see every “R” or “PG-13”rated movie in town—some of them are just not appropriate for us a Christians. Visit www.screenit.com or Focus on the Family’s “Plugged In” for some guidance in this area).
4. Remember to pray a lot. Ask God to show you His truth in all that you watch and hear.
5. Remember that you end up being what you think, so Paul’s message to us in Philippians 4:8 is a great ending to this: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, what is admirable—if anything is praiseworthy—think about such things.” (NIV)

Used by Permission, LifeWay Christian Resources Portions of an article, “Movie Watching Guide,”  written for Collegiate Magazine, Summer, 2006.

Chuck Gartman is the Youth Ministry Professor at Howard Payne University in Brownwood, TX. He is also the President of “Go To” Ministry, Inc. Need someone to train your youth leaders in effective Bible study leadership? “Go To” is your solution. For more information call 806-535-4684.

By Paul Gunn

The lives of today’s students have been shaped by 9/11. All their lives they’ve known people in the military. ROTC groups in high schools are flourishing. With the promise of a job in a stagnant economy along with the training and educational benefits, some of your students see the military as a viable option for their futures. For years of youth ministry, I never had even one student  join the military. Then all of a sudden after 9/11 several joined. Maybe you’ve not noticed, but this is indeed a war generation.

The support system around a new recruit is very important. Encourage, do not discourage. When one of your students joins the military he or she joins the millions of men and women who have sensed a similar call throughout American history. If the student’s parents freak out, encourage them to talk the decision through with their teenage child. Then, if the student makes the decision to enlist, encourage them to get the t-shirt and the bumper sticker. If possible, work with the recruiter to have the oath tendered in front of your church congregation. Then ask the parents and veterans to surround the new recruit for prayer. I’ve done this on two occasions and it was powerful.

Basic Military Training is not designed to be easy. It is designed to rebuild the person for success. The first few weeks are rough. As time passes the drill instructors grow fine leaders who gain enough confidence to be the world’s best war fighters. MAIL (as in the old-fashioned letter with envelope and stamp) is GOLD to a person in BMT. When the parents get an address, immediately send lighthearted letters of encouragement with Scripture passages, devotional thoughts, and prayers. Share some local news and ensure the troop that nothing exciting is happening at home and all is well. Do not talk about problems back home. But, send lots of letters. No troop has ever complained about receiving too much mail. Encourage students and adults to write. Ask them to keep the letters  simple. Only send letters that fold flat and fit in letter size envelopes. Write the address exactly as it is given to you and do not put any drawings or sayings on the envelope. You do not want to do anything that creates a teasing situation. Do not send packages while in BMT. Trust me on this. Opportunities for that will come later.

If possible, attend the graduation ceremony. The trip will be well worth the effort. It will mean so much to the family. The new airman, sailor, soldier, or marine will proudly introduce you to everyone.

Paul Gunn is a full time chaplain with the Air Force Reserve and a recruiter of chaplains. He served as a youth pastor for over 22 years. In his spare time, he directs missionfever.com.

By Donna Jones

I can still remember it. A white van drove into the mall parking lot. I watched my 21-year-old son climb in with nothing but a change of clothes and toiletries. Then, the van drove away, taking my first born son to a military processing center in Amarillo. My chest hurt . . . couldn’t breathe . . . tears flowed like the Niagara Falls. Kevin, my husband, Christopher’s father, was popping buttons off his shirt, he was so proud. Not me! I was scared! Driving home I came to a red light and laid my head on steering wheel and cried out to God: “I CAN’T DO THIS! IT’S TOO HARD AND I NEED YOU! THAT’S MY SON!” You know, He knew how I was feeling!

For the next three months I cried. Then what I was most fearful of happened: a terrorist attack catapulted us into war. All the fear rushed to the surface. But something changed. When we finally got to see that 6’2” man proudly standing before us in his Navy uniform, I started to see him through different eyes. It seemed that God began changing my fearful heart and began teaching me how to pray like I’ve never prayed before.

Fast forward two years . . . We got a call that Christopher is being sent to Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq. Afraid? I’d be lying if I said no, but there was also trust. Over time I was being taught that I could trust God with my child. There was a peace in knowing that whatever happened, God was in control and Christopher was safe in His Hands whether it be on earth or in heaven.

So I prayed! Prayer became that connection with my son who was on the other side of the world, but also with my Father. I learned to pray not only for Christopher’s safety, but also that he would find favor with others around him and that he would be a light in a very dark place. I prayed for grace and strength and that he would always feel God’s presence when loneliness overcame him. I prayed that young soldiers who walked along side Christopher would come to know the Lord and secure their spiritual safety.

Whenever fear began to overwhelm my heart, prayer was my only peace. Prayer knitted my heart and soul to God in knowing that He knew what it was like to send His Son off. Not in a white van, but to a dark, ugly world to die. His mission was to SAVE and REDEEM those who would hear and respond to His voice. So if you are a parent of a soldier, run to God and pray. He does hear you! If you are a church youth leader, remember what moms and dads are going through . . . and pray for them, too.

Donna Jones is a mom in Odessa, Texas. She and her husband Kevin raised three amazing Christian kids who are all now young adults.

By Chris White

Barely eighteen years old, I graduated high school and was headed to basic training. Although military service had a long history in our family, I was unsure of what to expect as I headed for my first duty station. It didn’t take to long before I understood this life would be much different than living at home and going to high school.

Each and every day I faced a barrage of new challenges. The drill instructors are skilled at preparing young men and women for duty. Part of this preparation is ensuring each enlisted person has been challenged in every area of life (mental, physical, emotional, and even spiritual). As I reflect on life, my military service played a pivotal role in my faith development.

Determined to live a life of faith proved to be one of my first big challenges. My drill instructor had our platoon, some 60 guys, in a training room talking with us. One of the first questions out of his mouth was, “Which of you in this room is religious and believes in God?” It was decision time: Not raise my hand and try to fly under the radar or raise it to acknowledge my faith and bear witness for God? Out of all those guys in that room, I was the only one to raise my hand. Everyone laughed. My drill instructor said, “Go ahead and laugh privates; when things get tough, this is the guy you are going to come to.” Throughout my time in basic training and advanced individual training (AIT), there were three guys who came to know Christ as a result of my being there and being willing to take a stand.

As a youth minister, you have a great opportunity to encourage students who have enlisted in the military. If I were to talk to your students, here’s what I would tell them: Allow God to use you in the midst of any circumstance. God can and will use you if you are willing to be available to Him. As you prepare for military service, remember God’s promise to Joshua and to each of us found in Joshua 1:9: “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you where ever you go.” Seize this time in life as a key opportunity to live out the vibrant faith that God has given to you.

Chris White is a veteran youth minister who lives in Edwardsville, IL. He has served churches in Arkansas, Virginia, and Illinois.