Author Archive

By Mike Lovato

Every youth ministry is different. Some groups are made up of mostly students who grew up in the church. Others consist of teenagers who had never darkened the doors of the church until they visited your youth group. In every youth ministry, though, there are most likely students who are themselves believers, but one or both of their parents don’t share their faith. How can we encourage teenagers in this situation? Here are a few thoughts you could give your students:

• Thank God for where He’s placed you. The home is one of the most difficult places to live out your faith, even if you had the “perfect church family.” But God has placed you in your specific family at this specific point in time so that you can be salt and light to your parents. Yes, that’s a challenge, but it’s also a HUGE opportunity.

• Don’t forget that your parents are still your parents.  The command to honor your mother and father doesn’t just apply to kids with Christian parents. You still have a responsibility to God and your parents to listen to them and obey.

• Stay plugged into your spiritual family. The Bible describes the church as a family and you definitely need that support base. Stay involved with Bible studies, worship services, and youth activities.  There may be times your parents aren’t entirely supportive of your faith or church involvement. Try to exercise patience and display God’s love in those moments.

• Keep praying and sharing. I’ve seen dads who lived apart from Christ for decades come to faith eventually. The testimony of their Christian kids is a key part of that process. Don’t give up that your parent (or parents) may come to know Christ!

It’s not easy for your students who don’t have a supportive spiritual environment at home. But keep encouraging your students to reflect Christ at home as they live through the power of the Holy Spirit. And keep being that support to them as they are involved in your ministry.

Mike Lovato is the Student Pastor at Magnolia Avenue Baptist Church in Riverside, CA and has been involved in student ministry for the last 13 years. He blogs very infrequently at http://mikelovato.wordpress.com.

By Alvan Tauli

When parents divorce, teenagers can feel cut off from the parent they don’t live with. In some contexts, such as the Philippines–my country, it is not uncommon for a parent of a teenager to be working in a different city or different country. So, when teenagers struggle with their feelings of detachment, how can a youth leader help?

Listen. As a practical person my impulse is usually to try to make things better right away with a theologically correct word. But those who voice out such a concern are often in a situation that will not become better immediately. It may not even be in our capacity to address. We might be able to help with the problem but that will not start if we do not stop to really listen and try to understand what the youth is trying to tell us. If nothing else, we can be a friend to share a burden and a shoulder to cry on. That may not seem like a lot but it is the start of trying to understand.

Don’t offer easy answers. Saying “I understand” may not be the best thing. Unless you have undergone something similar to their situation you may not be able to grasp the magnitude of what they feel and experience. True understanding might require many one-on-one talks with the teenager and other members of the family.

Connect them to people who have experienced the same thing. A person who has gone through that same struggle of missing a parent can be an incredible testimony of God’s provision and faithfulness.

Get to know the family background of your students. What I’ve noticed in my ministry is that many times the kids who are really disconnected because of the absence of a parent are not the kids who approach the youth leader. These kids often refuse to talk about it or act as if there is no problem. Sudden behavioral changes, such as fighting, changes in relationships with friends, or problems in school often reveal that they are affected. Meeting the parents of your students or visiting their homes will give you insight into issues that may affect your teenagers.

We should also be careful with how we link being in a family with what we teach about God. For example, when we call God our Father youth may filter that through their relationship with their own father. So care must be taken to show what we mean by the Fatherhood of God. The same with families. The Bible itself highlights people who had all manner of family relational problems. And yet God was able to work in and through their problems.

When teenagers are hurting because of an absent parent, we may not be able to solve the problem but we can point our youth to the one who works in and through problems–God who turns all things for good.

Alvan Tauli is a youth leader and trainer for the Global Youth Ministry Network in Asia. Alvan and his family live in Manila, Philippines.

By Scott Burks

Those of us who stand before students and hope to communicate some sort of concept know how hard that really is. Students are busy, easily distracted, and recognize weak content from a mile away. Communicating in this culture is tough.

Try the following next time you are getting ready to teach.

Start early.
It takes great communicators several weeks to prepare an effective message. Those who regularly stand in front of crowds with something to say have been thinking about, meditating on, studying, and examining their content for days. It is part of them and it flows like something they know, they believe, and are passionate about.

Don’t wing it.
You may get by with it a few times, but if you really think you can deliver a diet of half-baked talks that you really don’t know or maybe even don’t believe, then . . . well . . . I think you are most likely mistaken. One could even argue that people who wing it :: trust in themselves, don’t truly value their position, and aren’t honoring the audience. This is harsh, but it is borderline disrespect to stand in front of them and make it up as you go. You can do so much better than that.

Get help.
Get help as you prepare your next talk. Teams make things great. Inventions with impact are created by groups of people. Ideas that move a generation rarely flow out of individuals. The same is true for a great talk. Get together with a few people you have chemistry with and build the talk together. Get input, do research, brainstorm, create, craft, and form the message. It’s fun. You’ll grow. The group will feel empowered. Your audience will love it.

Hope this helps.

This article was reposted from Scott Burks’ blog. You can follow Scott at http://scottburks.me/

By Will King

So many teenagers today graduate from high school unsure about what they want to do in life. They may be passionate in their faith, but they are unclear about what God’s calling for their life is. Fusion caught my attention because it provides a radical mission experience for teenagers while they complete their first year of college courses.

Fusion is a program of Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. The basic premise of the program is that young men and women who have just graduated high school are capable of achieving great things for Christ. I have scene first hand how this program is maturing and growing the students that I have sent to it.

The program spends the first semester training and preparing the students to live in some very “out of the box” places. They receive language, survival, and first aid training, and so much more.  There is a real focus on leadership and spiritual maturity. They then spend the second semester working along side IMB missionaries in these countries, where they continue their studies as well as do missions in a real world environment.

As I was researching this program for my own students I got the pleasure of sitting down with a few Fusion alumni and talking over dinner. As we ate at an Iraqi restaurant, the students ordered for me in Arabic and discussed theology and global politics, not video games, and gossip. These were not kids; they were adults. This is not a missions program so to speak; it just uses missions as a biblical conduit to help Young people reach the spiritual maturity that they are seeking. I love this program and will continue to guide my students in that direction. For more info:  www.gofusion.ws

Will King is the Student Pastor at Memorial Baptist Church in Houston, TX. He is passionate about equipping and empowering teenagers and young adults to impact the world for Christ.

By Janet Erwin

Do you feel like your students have tunnel vision when it comes to prayer? If you want to expand your horizons, let’s look at some ways to go global with praying.

1. Seek and find. Pull out a map or globe and discover a little of what your group knows about other parts of the world. Focus on people groups and world religions that are dominate in other parts of the world. Talk about what it means to live in a Third-World country or under a dictatorship. Awareness is key to developing a heart for people in other lands. You can’t pray for what you don’t know about. Look for video clips you can show from other countries to build awareness. Move what you’ve learned to prayer points and get down to the business of praying specifically.
2. Travel through time. Ask your computer-savvy kids to determine time zones in regions of the world. Use a map/globe to pray on “their” time, as nationals and missionaries in these zones sleep, eat dinner, or whatever may be happening while you pray. You can find all kinds of ways to pray for people groups and missionaries by visiting www.imb.org or www.persecution.com.
3. Pray and eat. Choose an international restaurant to visit in your area. Ask each of your youth to goggle the country beforehand and bring one prayer request for that country’s people. While the group is waiting to be served, share requests and pray. If you don’t have an international restaurant in your area, you can always prepare some food from that country. Engage your server. If he is an international, ask some specific questions about his country. Ask him if he has any needs you can pray for. Follow through by praying for him.

Challenge your students to keep up with world news and turn what they learn into prayer points for the people in those countries. Numerous missionaries have Web sites with some great information about what God is doing among their affinity groups. Suggest students do some Web investigation and begin their journey as a global prayer warrior.

Janet Erwin is the editor of Missions Mosaic Magazine, a resource from the Women’s Missionary Union. She and her family have served as missionaries in Northern Europe and the Caribbean.

By Darin Wong

The martial arts phenomenon is an ever-growing trend amongst the circles of popular culture. With increased capital of such things as mixed martial arts, Jiu-Jitsu, and other traditional styles, it is very likely you have a few aspiring young martial artists budding within your youth group. The task then becomes a matter of finding a way to connect with and love those kids in a way that makes them feel included into your church family.

Martial arts was once thought of as a vehicle of eastern dogma. Most of the marital arts taught in America today is focused on core principles that are reinforce healthy values. Young men and women are taught principles such as modesty, courtesy, integrity, perseverance, self-control, peace, optimism, humility, and discipline. Not one of these principles is inherently bad, but they are incomplete without an understanding of Christ. The underlying assumption most martial arts schools take when teaching them is that this process will lead to a better individual and ultimately a better community. This is a great starting point for making a case for Christ, in that he espoused all these principles and more, but not simply for oneself but for the glory of God and edification of believers.

So then why do most young individuals join martial arts? Well that list is quite long and unimportant because what is really important is why they stay. Most students ultimately stay if they feel like they belong and are connected. When any student walks in the door they are given a greeting. I try and talk to or work with them at least 2-3 times each class. If they tell me something it becomes the most important thing that I have heard all day.  I do my best to memorize all of their names (I have over 300 students so it isn’t easy, but it can be done) or if they are new I introduce them to my “rockstar” students. In the martial arts school if you want to have students you have to be intentional. In the church if you want to reach students you have to be . . . well, you get the picture.

So you are thinking about using martial arts as a ministry tool? That’s a great idea, I know personally many godly men who offer martial arts classes at their church as a way to fellowship and instruct (in righteousness and self-defense). This is good for a couple of reasons: It is an interactive activity in which individuals must work together for a common goal, which builds community. Another reason is biological, the body releases endorphins following exercise, which change the body’s mood and can help bring focus when discussing or studying the Word. But it’s important to remember that you don’t have to start practicing the martial arts to connect with a student who does. You can love on them, and take a genuine interest in what they are doing. Maybe catch a practice or two, watching them in action. Then, post a proud Facebook status update. Relationships with students are a lot like martial arts skills; they take work and constantly need to be revisited to keep sharp.

Darin Wong is the head instructor of a martial arts school based in Sacramento, CA and is also on staff at the Ridge Church in Lincoln, CA where he and his wife lead worship. He can be reached by email at darin.wong@kovars.com.

By Pam Boucher

Preteens–what to do with them? The preteens in my church keep me hopping. I wish I had just a little bit of their energy. They can be quite challenging to work with since they are between childhood and teenage years in maturity and development. In our town sixth graders are in middle school in the school district but still in children’s ministry area at church. Like many of my colleagues in other churches, I’ve created a Preteen Division. Since we are a small church, I include both fifth and sixth graders just so we have enough of them to have a small class. If I had enough sixth graders, I would put them in their own group and use a separate curriculum of study for them.

I believe preteens need a little more in-depth Bible study than the younger children in our church, but I’m not ready to give them the kind of study they will enjoy as they grow into youth. In recent years we have begun scheduling special events that are only for the preteens in our church. For example, we created a mini-retreat–a four hour Friday evening which included Bible study, supper, and a special event like playing laser tag. I learned the hard way to have the Bible study early in the evening . . . once they play laser tag it’s really hard to get their focus back on something more serious. We have other special field trips and events throughout the year planned just for them. It gives them more to be involved in than the rest of the children, but they are still not yet doing everything they will be able to do as youth.

I think the use of technology is one of the largest yet most challenging opportunities for us with preteens. Most of them have their own cell phones at this age. A lot of them have computers or even iPads. Utilizing them in Bible study can be an effective way of getting them involved and keeping their interest. Using preteens as leaders in Kids Worship is a wonderful way to begin utilizing their leadership talents and keeping them involved. We have used our preteens to study the Sunday morning lessons in such a way that they plan ahead for the last Sunday of the month and then teach that lesson to the younger class. They all love it! It gives the preteens a chance to have some responsibility and the younger kids love having the preteens teach. I have also tried to get them involved in mission work in and around our community.

Preteens can be a challenge but what a wonderful opportunity God has given us to minister to and teach and prepare for adolescence. Preteens are unique and at a special time in their lives. They want to be kids but they want to be grown ups too. Wherever preteens are placed in your ministry line-up at your church, they need curriculum that both challenges but is easy to understand. They need opportunities for service and ministry. They need ways to expend their energy in positive and productive ways. Yes, preteens are a challenge, but oh, what a blessing!

After many years as a consultant in children’s ministry with LifeWay Christian Resources, Pam Boucher now serves as Children’s Minister at Richland Hills Baptist Church in Richland Hills, Texas.

By Theresa McMichen

I love teenagers. I love planning events for teenagers. I love listening to teenagers. I love encouraging teenagers. I just love teenagers. Teenagers are my God-given passion . . . perhaps because of my own spiritual experiences as a teen. I’m also the mom of two wonderful teenagers who don’t always want me around–shocking, I know, right! I am aware this is normal and okay, but I have one problem: For much of our small church’s history, I have been the planner, organizer,  and one of the teachers for our youth group. This role lends itself to “always being around.” If you are a parent of teen in a small church youth group, you understand the work may fall greatly on parental support and involvement. Few of us simply “drop our kids off” and go to “our” class.

Let me first say, I believe I am mom to two of the neatest, greatest, most patient teenagers in the world. They just amaze me every day! But they are teenagers and don’t want mom around all the time. How do I find balance? How do I live out my passion and still give my kids the space they need? Sometimes I don’t, sometimes I can’t, but when I do it looks a little like this:

I listen to them. I talk to them. There are times when I have to be around. For instance, if I have planned and organized camp, I really need to be there, but I try to stay in the background, not rooming with them, not leading their groups–I cook, clean, drive, and pay. On Sundays I taught high school when they were in middle school, and when they were in high school I taught middle school. Still, many days our high school and middle school groups met together . . . and I was there, teaching, leading, listening, and praying. Whether my own kids liked it or not, I was a part of their youth ministry experience at those times.

There is no magic trick to make the balance work. Sometimes I’m around when they wish I wasn’t; sometimes I’m not around when I wish I was.  Sometimes it’s strained; sometimes it’s joy. But, for me, it is a balancing act–lots of praying for direction for me and for understanding for my kids. The key for me is making sure they know this is my call, my passion from God, my act of service. Letting them know and see that I am working hard at meeting their felt needs as our ministry also meets their spiritual needs.

At times God provides youth leaders that are not parents. That seems to give our kids a break from parents and makes it easier for us to stay in the background. Regardless of my specific role at the time, it’s a blessing, a pleasure, and honor to be a part of youth ministry. I’m thankful that I have opportunity to serve and help my kids understand what that’s about. Finding balance as a parent and a youth leader? It’s being there, it’s being behind the scenes, it’s giving space, it’s not being there at all and letting others help and lead. All in its own time.

Theresa McMichen is a volunteer youth leader at the People’s Church of Oak Mountain in Birmingham, Alabama and the mom of two of the greatest teenagers in the world.

By Chuck Gartman

As Youth Ministers, no matter what the size of the church, we are always looking for people to work with youth. Whether it is a Sunday School group, a discipleship session, or just hanging out with teens, adult leaders are necessary if we want to broaden the base of our support in the church and best meet the needs of our students.  As young youth ministers, it is tempting to keep our focus on a younger set of adults to work with teens.

My suggestion is to not limit your search for workers just to younger adults. It is true that they can relate to youth because they are not far removed from them in terms of experience, but there is a vast reservoir of workers in our churches who are older, wiser, and more experienced in life–senior adults/grandparents. Sometimes seniors have more time to spare, they certainly are capable of as much love for teens as other adults, and they have a spiritual maturity that comes with age and experience. Besides, many are willing to devote lots of time to teenagers.

I’ve been “doing” Youth Ministry for over 40 years. Two of the best workers I have ever had were in their seventies. The youth not only loved them, they couldn’t wait to be in their classes. These two adults were not begging to work with youth, but they were waiting for someone to ask them. I did, and they were willing to do it. The real key was that they were willing to invest their lives in teenagers. Look for potential workers in unusual places like the senior adult department.

I serve in a church right now where we named a service award after 3 senior adult leaders who had devoted their lives to meeting the needs of teenagers. For over 170 years, these three served teenagers in our community and in our church. I wouldn’t trade anything for what these adults contributed to our ministry to students.

One other suggestion I have is that instead of just throwing a senior adult or grandparent into a group of teenagers, partner them up with a younger adult. At least two things will be accomplished: 1) There will be mutual mentoring taking place. The young  adult can learn about stability and spirituality from the older adult and gain some wisdom about how best to meet the needs of students.  2) The senior adult can learn about youth culture and how best to relate to students in the 21^st century.  To me, it’s a win-win situation.

Chuck Gartman is the Youth Ministry Professor at Howard Payne University in Brownwood, TX. He is also the President of “Go To” Ministry, Inc. Need someone to train your youth leaders in effective Bible study leadership? “Go To” is your solution. For more information call 806-535-4684.

By Chris White

Ministering to students is both challenging and rewarding. As if those challenges weren’t enough, there are times when conflict arises with another staff member or possibly your lead pastor. How you handle the conflict will impact your long-term ministry at the church. So it’s essential to establish a game plan for these situations. It’s not a matter of “if” you will experience conflict but “when”  conflict will show itself.

What not to do:

• Don’t overreact with your emotions. We all have those ‘buttons’ that move us into panic mode, and if you start pushing them, you are making the situation worse. Don’t give in to immature actions. Keep control.
• Don’t let significant time pass before discussing the problem. Time does not heal all wounds; sometimes it leads to bitterness.
• Don’t assume you are at fault. But, don’t assume the other person is the problem either. Resolution comes with understanding.
• Don’t vent to another staff member about what happened. And certainly don’t share the problem with students or adults in the ministry.
• Don’t allow the evil one to put a splinter of bitterness in your heart. This only festers and will affect you spiritually in the long haul.

What to do:

• As soon as possible, talk to your accountability partner. They can absorb the raw nature of your emotion.
• Spend time in prayer. Ask God to show you what part of the conflict is yours.
• Seek the first available opportunity to discuss the matter with the person you are having the conflict with.
• Seek forgiveness for your part in the conflict. In general, start with an apology. It’s hard to continue the conflict if you express humility.
• Discuss how to avoid this situation and others like it in the future.

In short, conflict will come. Being prepared for it will lead to a healthier experience with the team God has called you to serve.

Chris White is a veteran youth minister who lives in Edwardsville, IL. He has served churches in Arkansas, Virginia, and Illinois.