Author Archive

By Paul G. Kelly

Drinking alcohol for the purpose of getting intoxicated has become a significant part of the experience of youth adults. At least, that is the conclusion of Christian Smith based on a significant research project looking at the lives of 18- to 24-year-olds in America. I know, big news, right? We all know that large numbers of college students drink to excess. The thing that caught me in Smith’s findings in Lost in Transition is that he suggests that young adults believe they are just living out the life script our culture has given them. They claim going to parties and getting drunk is fun, but when pressed about what is fun about it, most of them admit it is really kind of boring. The only thing that seems to make the parties fun is that they are getting drunk. And that seems to lead to more frustrations and heart-aches that fond memories. So, why do they drink? They have been told that they are young and should be enjoying themselves. Everything they see seems to suggest that the appropriate way for a 20-year-old American to behave is to go to parties and get drunk as they are wandering through the college curriculum or enduring the military training.

I know, you are thinking I’ve lost my way. This is not supposed to be a blog about young adults, but about teenagers. Reading this book about young adults has just got me thinking: These are the adults that we are producing in youth ministry? I mean, I’d like to believe that those who are attending our youth groups are the exception. I’d like to think that they are the anomalies that are making great life decisions and, if they try alcohol at all, it’s only to taste wine at communion. The problem is, the research doesn’t seem to confirm that. And more, reconnecting with lots of former youth group members on Facebook has left me a little shell-shocked at how little influence the church seems to have had on many young adults.

At church on Sunday, I was talking to one of our 16-year-old guys. He’s a believer who is growing in his faith. The chairman of our deacons, a good godly man, walked up and asked him, “How is school going?” The young man replied that it was going okay. Then, the well-meaning deacon asked, “So, are you having fun?” The young man said, “Sure.” The deacon smiled at him and said, “Good, because that’s what it’s all about, right?” Is it? I don’t want to discourage kids from having fun, but is that what it’s all about? If so, it seems to me Jesus should retract a lot of what He said in the Gospels. Is it possible that even well-meaning, spiritually-oriented leaders have unintentionally perpetuated the cultural script that being a young person is about nothing but having fun? Is it possible that when teenagers go to parties and drink to excess, they are only trying to fulfill what we have told them is our expectations for their lives?

I may not be able to change the culture for the next crop of young adults, but I certainly can use the bit of influence I have with the dozen or so students at our little church to teach them that life is about more than fun. Sure, life is full of laughter and fun experiences, but those are not the things that life is about. Life is about a commitment to Christ that sometimes is fun, sometimes is difficult, sometimes brings laughter, and sometimes brings tears, but is ALWAYS worth it. Life is about sharing relationships with those God has put in my world. Life is about the adventure of God’s mission, using the gifts He has given me to be a little part of what God is up to in the world.

Talk about the problems of intoxication. But more than that, give kids a bigger life script than to do whatever it takes to have fun.

By Paul G. Kelly

Lately, I’ve been reading through the stories of King David. And once again I am struck by how he handled King Saul, a man driven toward murder by his own jealousy and anger. Not once, but twice God placed Saul directly into David’s hands and both times David chose to extend grace. When Saul was finally killed and David was anointed king over Judah, David did not rejoice over the turn of events, but mourned the loss of God’s choice for the first king.

Perhaps the reason David could be a man after God’s own heart was because his own heart was not so full of himself. He actually had room for God in his heart.

Youth ministry can be one of those thankless jobs. You are a lot more likely to get blamed for the bathroom being flooded . . . after all, it probably was one of the middle school kids . . . than appreciated for your investment. In fact, sometimes people can be down right mean. A friend of mine is currently struggling with his part-time ministry position because another minister is jealous of how much he is liked.

I don’t suppose it should surprise us when people ignore our efforts . . . or are critical of them. Surely David at times must have felt the same way we feel. And yet, he was a man after God’s own heart. Being a great youth minister is not dependent on the respect or thanks of the congregation. In some churches, you will never do youth ministry if you are waiting for that. When we let our hearts be so full of our love for God that we see even our enemies through that love . . . well, that is a foundation for great youth ministry.

Today, you may be frustrated by your relationships at church. Ask God to help you to see others through His love and trust that He will lift you up in His timing. Be quick to forgive and quick to speak kind words.

By Russell Johnson

I’ll cut to the chase: No matter how many people show up, no matter how much money is in your budget, or even how talented you may be . . . worship starts in the heart!

“…Sing and make music to the Lord with your hearts.” —Eph. 5:18-19

Don’t get me wrong.  All those other things help support the worship time, but they don’t necessarily fuel it.  For leaders who have a small group, I would like to approach this topic in two ways: first by encouraging you to build a culture of worship in the hearts of your group, and second by helping you create opportunities for students to respond in worship.

Building a culture of Worship begins with you.  Do your students see you worship?  As I lead worship I always try to help paint a picture of what worship is . . . and what it’s not.   Because of the way our churches are historically setup, most people think Sunday is the only time we worship.  We call them, “Sunday Worship Services.”  We need to help students understand that Worship is a lifestyle.  More than the hour on Sunday or the Student ministry gathering, it has to be a perpetual theme in our daily lives.  Giving students biblical insights to all the different ways we may worship is key.  Music is just one aspect. There’s also prayer, thanksgiving, tithing, reading scripture, painting, communion, interpretive movement, serving, and more.   From my experience, students are eager to know more about Worship and what it means.  Everything we do should be an act of worship.

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”–Colossians 3:17

As you strive to build this Worship culture in your group there are some practical things that may help students respond:

• In a more intimate worship setting, song selection is critical.  Songs need to be singable.  Don’t try and teach too many new songs at one time.  People like to sing songs they know.  You’ll soon see which tunes become your group’s favorites.  Next, build your teaching times around a particular song and allow the students to sing the song at the end of the session with a new found understanding of what they are saying to God or about Him.

• Allow your students to take ownership of the worship.  Enlist students to pray, read scripture, or lead music.

• Have your worship time in a completely different setting.  Occasionally, change locations so it’s not always the same.

• Give students a tangible way of responding in Worship (e.g., writing something down, laying something on the altar, bringing an offering, praying for each other).  You can also encourage your group to come up with ways they can serve the community as an act of worship.

Ultimately, worship is to be our response to who God is and what He has done. Hopefully, we can all catch the vision of what Jesus was saying when He said that we should, “Worship in spirit and in truth”.   – John 4:24

Russell Johnson is a worship leader, singer, and song-writer. He and his wife Kristi lead worship across the United States and have just released their worship album, “Arise.” To find out more about Russell and his ministry, check out www.russellandkristi.com.

Youth ministry is all about helping teenagers to connect to Jesus Christ through his Word. Teenagers need a growing relationship with God that will provide a foundation of faith that they can build on for the rest of their lives. However, that may raise an interesting dilemma. As youth leaders, should we primarily see ourselves as evangelists who are trying to help teenagers who have no faith background discover Christ and enter a faith-relationship with him through faith and repentance? Or are we disciplers who are guiding teenagers in the church to develop their faith and deepen their walk.

Being an evangelist among teenagers is a big calling. While they are members of a larger culture, many of argued convincingly that teenagers are part of their own culture. The youth culture is shaped by adolescents, but it also shapes them. It includes unique language, permeating attitudes, iconic leaders, and shared ways of looking at things. The work of teaching teenagers without Christ the truths of the Gospel, youth leaders need to think like missionaries. Just like a cross-cultural teacher in a foreign land, youth leaders have to explore the culture of teenagers, looking for ways to speak into their culture. And just like cross-cultural missionaries, youth leaders will have to invest time developing relationships and expressing care in order to be able to teach.

More of the teaching to non-Christian teenagers may take place during football games or in casual discussions at Starbucks than in classrooms at church. However, if our job is to be cross-cultural missionaries, we need to find ways to teach at the church that would make sense to a teenagers with no background in biblical truth. When so many teenagers are in need of faith in Christ, perhaps this should be the focus of our ministries. Perhaps we should be primarily cross-cultural evangelists.

On the other hand, Jesus called us to “make disciples,” to teach them “all things” (Matt. 28:18-20). While the teenagers at church may have made a commitment to Christ, it seems unlikely that many of them have a strong enough grounding in the teachings of Christ to actually be able to build a life on it. In fact, all of the research says that churched teenagers are basically biblically illiterate. If we neglect the development of the youth in our church we are likely to see the same trend we have seen in recent years: teenagers begin dropping out of church at about age 16, many of them never to return to their faith.

If we are going to make disciples of teenagers, we will need to provide them with a number of experiences that help them to understand and value the things of God. We will need to teach for spiritual growth and demonstrate a faithful pursuit of Christ in our lives. Perhaps we should be primarily disciple-makers.

I suppose the truth is, we must be both. Evangelism is, of course, incomplete if we are only making converts and not disciples. Likewise, discipleship that does not show teenagers how to engage a lost world in order to guide them to faith in Christ is not real discipleship. The implications are that we need some times in our youth ministry in which we are seeking to reach and teach those without Christ and we need some times in which we are seeking to help those who have made a commitment to Christ to grow in their faith. Not easy work, but essential.

By Doug Tiemann

According to a recent study (Journal of School Health, 2008), suicide is the third leading cause of death among individuals aged fifteen to twenty-four–this comprises 12.9% of all deaths in that age-range. In 2004, suicides that occurred in young adults fifteen to twenty-four represented a staggering 14.2% of deaths in this age range in the United States. Furthermore, in 2003 and 2004 this was the only form of death that increased in adolescents.

Why is suicide such a consistent and even growing trend among the young? Youth often see suicide as an answer to their problems. These problems can include family problems or academic pressures. Students may feel unable to deal with the issues of life and see this as the only release from the burdens they experienced. Oddly, a root cause of suicide for some youth may be a form of egocentrism. Kids become consumed with self, feeling every part of life is a pressure on them as an individual; in extreme examples, their response to this pressure is suicide. Three factors that seem to stick out others: parental divorce, parental separation, and suicide of a close friend or family member. These factors often lead students to feelings of personal failure and guilt.

When students are considering suicide, many will talk with friends about their thoughts or plans. Helping the teenagers in your youth group to know what to look for and how to respond can help a student struggling with thoughts of suicide. Alert your students to listen to their peers when they hear someone make statements about wanting to die or feeling like life is not worth living. Teach them to see signs of suicide, such as a friend who begins giving away his or her possessions. Most importantly, tell your students that when they suspect a peer might be considering suicide, they need to tell someone . . . a school counselor, a teacher, or a youth leader. Help them to understand it would be better to raise the issue and be wrong than to not raise the issue and be right.

Suicide is never an easy issue to tackle or to engage however; ministers cannot afford to ignore it on any level. It is a reality among the youth of America and the world but it is only invisible if the Church allows it to be.

Doug Tiemann serves as Worship Pastor at Hillside Church of Marin. He also invests his time working with the youth of Hillside, enriching them in the area of worship through music as well as sharing teaching responsibilities.  He is currently earning his Masters of Divinity at Golden Gate Baptist Theological Seminary.

After spending a year at a California high school listening to students’ hearts, Chap Clark wrote a book he entitled Hurt. His conclusion was that students feel alienated and isolated from the world of adults. They feel like no adult really invests in their lives. Too many small churches are plagued by a revolving door of youth leaders.

When God calls you into youth ministry, I believe he calls you to stand by the students he entrusts to you until he calls you to move on. Students need adults they can count on. Too many youth leaders give up when things get tough. What are the obstacles that make youth leaders wash out? There are a lot of reasons, but here are a few that seem to come up a lot.

• Church politics. Too many youth leaders get frustrated at the inner workings of the church. Sometimes they can seem anything but Christian. Keep in mind that church leaders are human. They will fail. Worse, they may not even realize it when they have failed. Give up looking for the perfect church. They don’t exist. Pray for your leaders and keep investing in kids.
• Busy lives. Youth leaders have jobs, families, and washing machines that overflow and destroy the carpet. Life can seem overwhelming. When a crisis comes up, a youth Bible study can seem like that last thing you need to spend time with. You need to prioritize your relationship with God and your family above your work with students at church. So, find a pace you can live with. I recommend one Bible study a week plus one activity (fun or ministry) each month. Get other adults to help you. Don’t over-commit and then find yourself having to back out later.
• Feelings of inadequacy. Doing youth ministry can be hard. You find out a girl you poured your life into is pregnant. Leadership kids suddenly drop out with no explanation. Kids seem disinterested in what you are doing. How do you keep doing youth ministry when you discover you don’t know what you are doing? Well, the good news is God said it was in our weakness that he would be strong. Yes, get additional training. Yes, ask for help from pastors, youth consultants, and friends. But, most of all, trust God.

Students need adults who pour into their lives over the long haul. Keep telling them about the Father’s love. Keep encouraging them to pursue a deep relationship with him. Keep providing opportunities for students to get face to face with the living God. Keep being there. Stay in youth ministry for the long haul.

The task of adolescence according to Erik Erikson is to develop personal identity. Students who don’t do a good job of defining their identity will struggle with identity for the rest of their lives. The struggle of students to define themselves can be a challenge for youth leaders, too.

Younger adolescents are always “trying on hats.” I don’t mean literal hats, though there may be some of that, too. They are putting on one “identity” after another, trying it on for size. They may show up to Bible study one week with a new sneer and a “you can’t teach me anything attitude.” The next week, they may be ready to save the whales . . . or the chimps . . . or whatever they have heard about that is threatened. Some of these “hats” may be positive. Some may be completely sinful.

So, how do you help the younger adolescents in your group as they try to define who they are?

1. Don’t overreact. Pushing them to give up a “hat” may have the affect of causing them to dig in and defend what they are doing. Sometimes the best reaction is something like, “How’s this new look working for you?”
2. Teach them about who Christ says they are. Ultimately, students need to build their identity on their relationship with Christ. Take every opportunity to tell them how much they are loved by God . . . and how much God wants their life to be a reflection of HIS love and righteousness.
3. Don’t back down from teaching truth. If a teen is doing something that is sinful–like picking on peers, or using bad language–address the behavior. But show them how much you love them in the way you address their behavior. Validate their value as you point out bad behavior.

Defining identity is not easy for students. It is a difficult and confusing process for teenagers. It can take some truly strange turns. Everyone–from teachers to soft drink advertizers–are telling them who they should be. They desperately need caring adults who will help them to define their identity in Christ.

We recently received this message from Jay McSwain who leads Place Ministries:

Congratulations on SYG. Just this past Sunday I was talking with a mother who has two teenagers that are 15 and 16.  They were heading to [a particular mega] church because they don’t like their youth group.  The 15 year old had a friend going with her.  All three girls go to mega churches in the Atlanta area.  After church the mother asked the girls how they liked the service and they were somewhat positive.  The interesting point in this conversation came  when the teenagers all agreed they would rather go to a small church where they knew everyone and it was more like a family atmosphere.  All three girls have spent their entire lives in mega churches so they have no other perspective than mega church experience, but all three sense there is something beyond mega church.

You have a fan in promoting SYG.  Me.  I believe God wants churches to grow, but I truly sense it is by multiplying churches not just building bigger buildings.

Place Ministries helps people discover that God has created and gifted them with a unique capacity to serve others. Place helps them to find their unique place within their church. To find out more about Place Ministries, visit www.placeministries.org.

Thanks, Jay.

Lots of youth leaders in small churches are making a huge difference in the lives of the teenagers they get to touch. Never feel like your ministry is insignificant because you only have a handful of students.

You don’t have to be teaching youth for very long before you end up having to deal with negative behavior. Seems like youth at church would know how to act. Surely they should respect you and appreciate your investment of time. You would think so, but probably not.

There is a really not a panacea that will solve every behavior problem, but let me suggest some things I have found to be effective.

1. Keep the class moving. I usually find that younger students tend to disrupt when nothing seems to be happening. Pauses while you find materials or consult your notes can open a door to disruption. Try to move from one activity to the next, one idea to the next quickly . . . especially if you have mostly younger students.

2. Build relationships. Students who feel like you care about them and want them to be there are a lot less likely to disrupt your study.

3. Use body language to gain control over disruptive students. Standing up can get their attention. When I have two kids picking on each other, I go sit right between them and don’t miss a beat on what I’m saying.

4. Avoid embarrassing students. Most students don’t like to be called out and scolded in class. Once in a while you can’t help singling a kid out, but try everything else first.

5. Use humor. A friend of mine used to stop and quickly say, “Raise your hand if you’re not listening” when the group got out of control. Students would usually laugh and refocus on what he was saying.

6. Sometimes students disrupt because they don’t really see the value in what you are doing. Try sharing with them why you are doing what you are doing and how valuable you think it is.

7. Older teenagers are more likely to disrupt when they feel like they are being treated like children. I think it is okay to do something silly with older youth as long as you admit you are asking them to do something childish. Say something like, “I know this is stupid, but just go with me. I’m trying to make a point.”

Occasionally, you have no choice but to address behavior sternly. A fight breaks out in class. A kid is being victimized or intimidated by other students. Students are being destructive. A student is intentionally sabotaging the lesson. Stop the class. Isolate the student or students involved. Address the behavior directly and insist that you will not allow it. Involve the parents if they are available.

Last night, I happened to catch Mike Huckabee’s interview of Bill Maher. Apparently, Maher is releasing a new documentary movie “taking on” religion called, “Religulous.” Maher identified himself as agnostic. He said he has no understanding of why people would want to live their lives according to ancient myth and went as far as to say that all religious people have some kind of psychological problem. Maher cited all of the wars fought in the name of religion as a real problem with enlightened people accepting these “mythical beliefs.” He asked how a loving God could allow so much suffering to exist in the world.

I don’t mention all of this so you and I can get mad at Bill Maher together. Rather, it is important to keep in mind that our students will face opposition in their faith.

For me, the best thing about the interview was that Huckabee, in his home-spun, corn-fed way, was able to give a reason for his Christian faith. True religion, the faith Jesus died for, does not inspire people to violence, but to love, forgiveness, and reconciliation. People don’t need religion to be bad. We live in a broken world. God didn’t make it that way; we did. And God allows us the freedom to love him . . . or to reject him.

I don’t really care whether you like or dislike Huckabee as a politician. My point is I want students to leave my youth group with enough understanding of their faith that they, too, can give a reasonable defense for the faith they have in Christ.

How does the Bible answer hard questions like those Bill Maher was asking? Even if our students are content with simplistic answers, I don’t think we can be. There is no reason to fear hard questions from your students. In fact, if they aren’t raising hard questions in your youth Bible study, perhaps you should.