Author Archive

After spending a year at a California high school listening to students’ hearts, Chap Clark wrote a book he entitled Hurt. His conclusion was that students feel alienated and isolated from the world of adults. They feel like no adult really invests in their lives. Too many small churches are plagued by a revolving door of youth leaders.

When God calls you into youth ministry, I believe he calls you to stand by the students he entrusts to you until he calls you to move on. Students need adults they can count on. Too many youth leaders give up when things get tough. What are the obstacles that make youth leaders wash out? There are a lot of reasons, but here are a few that seem to come up a lot.

• Church politics. Too many youth leaders get frustrated at the inner workings of the church. Sometimes they can seem anything but Christian. Keep in mind that church leaders are human. They will fail. Worse, they may not even realize it when they have failed. Give up looking for the perfect church. They don’t exist. Pray for your leaders and keep investing in kids.
• Busy lives. Youth leaders have jobs, families, and washing machines that overflow and destroy the carpet. Life can seem overwhelming. When a crisis comes up, a youth Bible study can seem like that last thing you need to spend time with. You need to prioritize your relationship with God and your family above your work with students at church. So, find a pace you can live with. I recommend one Bible study a week plus one activity (fun or ministry) each month. Get other adults to help you. Don’t over-commit and then find yourself having to back out later.
• Feelings of inadequacy. Doing youth ministry can be hard. You find out a girl you poured your life into is pregnant. Leadership kids suddenly drop out with no explanation. Kids seem disinterested in what you are doing. How do you keep doing youth ministry when you discover you don’t know what you are doing? Well, the good news is God said it was in our weakness that he would be strong. Yes, get additional training. Yes, ask for help from pastors, youth consultants, and friends. But, most of all, trust God.

Students need adults who pour into their lives over the long haul. Keep telling them about the Father’s love. Keep encouraging them to pursue a deep relationship with him. Keep providing opportunities for students to get face to face with the living God. Keep being there. Stay in youth ministry for the long haul.

The task of adolescence according to Erik Erikson is to develop personal identity. Students who don’t do a good job of defining their identity will struggle with identity for the rest of their lives. The struggle of students to define themselves can be a challenge for youth leaders, too.

Younger adolescents are always “trying on hats.” I don’t mean literal hats, though there may be some of that, too. They are putting on one “identity” after another, trying it on for size. They may show up to Bible study one week with a new sneer and a “you can’t teach me anything attitude.” The next week, they may be ready to save the whales . . . or the chimps . . . or whatever they have heard about that is threatened. Some of these “hats” may be positive. Some may be completely sinful.

So, how do you help the younger adolescents in your group as they try to define who they are?

1. Don’t overreact. Pushing them to give up a “hat” may have the affect of causing them to dig in and defend what they are doing. Sometimes the best reaction is something like, “How’s this new look working for you?”
2. Teach them about who Christ says they are. Ultimately, students need to build their identity on their relationship with Christ. Take every opportunity to tell them how much they are loved by God . . . and how much God wants their life to be a reflection of HIS love and righteousness.
3. Don’t back down from teaching truth. If a teen is doing something that is sinful–like picking on peers, or using bad language–address the behavior. But show them how much you love them in the way you address their behavior. Validate their value as you point out bad behavior.

Defining identity is not easy for students. It is a difficult and confusing process for teenagers. It can take some truly strange turns. Everyone–from teachers to soft drink advertizers–are telling them who they should be. They desperately need caring adults who will help them to define their identity in Christ.

We recently received this message from Jay McSwain who leads Place Ministries:

Congratulations on SYG. Just this past Sunday I was talking with a mother who has two teenagers that are 15 and 16.  They were heading to [a particular mega] church because they don’t like their youth group.  The 15 year old had a friend going with her.  All three girls go to mega churches in the Atlanta area.  After church the mother asked the girls how they liked the service and they were somewhat positive.  The interesting point in this conversation came  when the teenagers all agreed they would rather go to a small church where they knew everyone and it was more like a family atmosphere.  All three girls have spent their entire lives in mega churches so they have no other perspective than mega church experience, but all three sense there is something beyond mega church.

You have a fan in promoting SYG.  Me.  I believe God wants churches to grow, but I truly sense it is by multiplying churches not just building bigger buildings.

Place Ministries helps people discover that God has created and gifted them with a unique capacity to serve others. Place helps them to find their unique place within their church. To find out more about Place Ministries, visit www.placeministries.org.

Thanks, Jay.

Lots of youth leaders in small churches are making a huge difference in the lives of the teenagers they get to touch. Never feel like your ministry is insignificant because you only have a handful of students.

You don’t have to be teaching youth for very long before you end up having to deal with negative behavior. Seems like youth at church would know how to act. Surely they should respect you and appreciate your investment of time. You would think so, but probably not.

There is a really not a panacea that will solve every behavior problem, but let me suggest some things I have found to be effective.

1. Keep the class moving. I usually find that younger students tend to disrupt when nothing seems to be happening. Pauses while you find materials or consult your notes can open a door to disruption. Try to move from one activity to the next, one idea to the next quickly . . . especially if you have mostly younger students.

2. Build relationships. Students who feel like you care about them and want them to be there are a lot less likely to disrupt your study.

3. Use body language to gain control over disruptive students. Standing up can get their attention. When I have two kids picking on each other, I go sit right between them and don’t miss a beat on what I’m saying.

4. Avoid embarrassing students. Most students don’t like to be called out and scolded in class. Once in a while you can’t help singling a kid out, but try everything else first.

5. Use humor. A friend of mine used to stop and quickly say, “Raise your hand if you’re not listening” when the group got out of control. Students would usually laugh and refocus on what he was saying.

6. Sometimes students disrupt because they don’t really see the value in what you are doing. Try sharing with them why you are doing what you are doing and how valuable you think it is.

7. Older teenagers are more likely to disrupt when they feel like they are being treated like children. I think it is okay to do something silly with older youth as long as you admit you are asking them to do something childish. Say something like, “I know this is stupid, but just go with me. I’m trying to make a point.”

Occasionally, you have no choice but to address behavior sternly. A fight breaks out in class. A kid is being victimized or intimidated by other students. Students are being destructive. A student is intentionally sabotaging the lesson. Stop the class. Isolate the student or students involved. Address the behavior directly and insist that you will not allow it. Involve the parents if they are available.

Last night, I happened to catch Mike Huckabee’s interview of Bill Maher. Apparently, Maher is releasing a new documentary movie “taking on” religion called, “Religulous.” Maher identified himself as agnostic. He said he has no understanding of why people would want to live their lives according to ancient myth and went as far as to say that all religious people have some kind of psychological problem. Maher cited all of the wars fought in the name of religion as a real problem with enlightened people accepting these “mythical beliefs.” He asked how a loving God could allow so much suffering to exist in the world.

I don’t mention all of this so you and I can get mad at Bill Maher together. Rather, it is important to keep in mind that our students will face opposition in their faith.

For me, the best thing about the interview was that Huckabee, in his home-spun, corn-fed way, was able to give a reason for his Christian faith. True religion, the faith Jesus died for, does not inspire people to violence, but to love, forgiveness, and reconciliation. People don’t need religion to be bad. We live in a broken world. God didn’t make it that way; we did. And God allows us the freedom to love him . . . or to reject him.

I don’t really care whether you like or dislike Huckabee as a politician. My point is I want students to leave my youth group with enough understanding of their faith that they, too, can give a reasonable defense for the faith they have in Christ.

How does the Bible answer hard questions like those Bill Maher was asking? Even if our students are content with simplistic answers, I don’t think we can be. There is no reason to fear hard questions from your students. In fact, if they aren’t raising hard questions in your youth Bible study, perhaps you should.

I teach a youth ministry class at the Birmingham extension of New Orleans Seminary. This week one of the experienced students in my class raised this question: If I’m teaching a class of youth, I probably have two punching each other, three counting ceiling tile, and maybe one or two interested in Bible study. How do I help all of those students to grow in their faith?

That is an amazing question. In a small church, you may well have three 12 year olds, a 13 year old, and a 16 year old in your youth class. Even if your students were all at the same age, their development–emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically–would be at different stages. How do you engage all of them with the truths of Christ?

The work of spiritual development is really the work of the Holy Spirit. As a youth leader, you get to parnter with the Spirit as he works in students’ lives. Leading engaging Bible study is an important part of your partnership, but I am convinced that most youth need to see what the Bible looks like when it is fleshed out in real life. When students see you up close living out the principles of Scripture, they are often very open to what the Spirit would like to do in their hearts.

Good discipleship is not just a matter of good teaching; it is a matter of intentional relationships. Capture the flag may be the best ministry with the two guys elbowing each other in class. Show the students counting tiles how to share show Christ’s love to an underpriviledged kid and she may suddenly get why the Bible study is important. Youth who are ready to learn may need some new tools that allow them to dig deeper into God’s word. The relationships can be very different, but the goal is the same . . . to get students face to face with Christ so that his Spirit can transform their hearts.

Leading students to grow in their faith is a life-on-life issue. And the way the relationships get fleshed out will be as different as the students you are teaching.

Most of us in small churches (big churches, too) deal with losing students as they get older. Sixth or seventh graders come into our youth ministries with lots of excitement. A few years later, high school sophomores begin to disappear. We plan activities and can’t seem to motivate our older students to get involved. They opt out of going to camp and are working part-time jobs on Sunday morning.

Why does it happen? Several reasons. Students lives are busy. They have more activities to choose from than ever before in their lives. Students are more mobile. Once they get a drivers license, they are no longer dependent on parents to drive them around. Students feel the need for money. Maybe for dates; maybe for college. Part-time jobs may make them choose between working on Friday night and missing the football game and working on Sunday morning and missing church. Students want to see themselves as independent adults and youth groups often make them feel like kids. Students may have a “been there, done that” feeling, since a 16 year old has been able to participate in everything the youth group offers since he was 12.

No easy answers to this problem exist, but let me suggest a couple of things that I think are helpful. First, create opportunities for older students to have greater status in the youth ministry because of their age and experience. For example, ask them to be team leaders for your mission projects; allow them to lead part of the Bible study on Sunday. Ask them to organize a game for your fun times.

Second, give them experiences in ministry that excite their imagination. When I was at a big church in Nashville, we took graduating seniors on an international mission trip every summer. Little churches can’t do that? Actually, it may be easier for us. Two years ago, I took our one graduating senior on a mission trip to Ukraine. It was an amazing trip for both of us and changed his perspective on God’s movement in the world. The church helped with the cost.

Third, help students find their place in the church . . . even if it isn’t in the youth ministry. Last year, we graduated a student who seldom came to youth ministry events. However, she had invested more than a year in helping with preschoolers. It is a ministry she loved and kept her growing and learning in her own faith. One of our juniors, Adam, plays the base in our praise band. He is plugged into the youth ministry, but his real love is hanging with the four or five musicians that lead worship on Sunday morning. God has used his love for music to help him grow in Christ.

As parents allow older students to begin to make their own choices about church, some will opt out. It is a great disappointment. However, our call as youth leaders is not a call to get kids to our activities. It is a call to invest in the spiritual lives of students. Don’t let the fact that students don’t show up at your fun night mean that you quit investing in them. Pray for them. Encourage them. Confront them with humility and love. Speak words of truth into their lives. Your relationship may be what God uses to draw them to himself.

Podcasts are a great thing, but keeping up with them is a bit of a challenge. So, I’m not sure when David Platt (Pastor of The Church at Brookhills in Birmingham) taught it, but I was listening to one of his sermons this morning. He was teaching on Exodus 33. In the passage, God told Moses he was going to give the Israelites the blessings he had promised them–the holy land and all–but God himself was not going to go with them because they were a stiff-necked people.

Moses would not leave. He pleaded with God to go with them. God agreed. There is much about God’s conversations with Moses that I don’t understand, but Platt asked a very pointed question:

If God offered to give us his blessings without his presence, how would we respond?

Is it possible that God could fail to show up in our youth ministries . . . in our Bible study classes, youth mission projects, or fellowship activities . . . and we would not even notice?

We in America are good at doing church. Your church may be small, but, compared to the standards of history, it is probably very wealthy. You have a place to meet, resources to help you, and probably some trained leadership. Is it possible that we have become so comfortable with the blessings of God that we no longer feel the need for his presence?

The most important aspect of youth ministry is a leader who is passionately clinging to the presence of the living God. Nothing can replace that. Can we do good youth ministry without the presence of God? I shudder to think, but perhaps we can.

What a dismal failure to experience God’s promised land . . . but not have the presence of God.

Youth ministry in Urban settings carries unique challenges. Some small churches are located in the city and are dealing with the issues that plague many of our major population centers . . . poverty, violence, high drop-out rates, high rates of substance abuse. I don’t mean to stereotype inner-city students. Certainly youth in the country and in suburban settings have their share of challenges. Still, many churches have abandoned the city because of the perceived danger of the city.

Fernando Arzola has just released an interesting book called, Toward a Prophetic Youth Ministry. Arzola contends that some inner city churches have focused solely on discipleship and have neglected the very real human needs of their students. Other churches have focused on meeting the needs for food, education, and affirmation, and have missed calling students to faith in Christ. Other churches have called students to social activism to address the overall problems of the city, but fail to do that in a way that makes a relationship to Christ the center of the ministry. Arzola calls inner-city churches to “prophetic youth ministry,” that is, a ministry that focuses on Christian ministry that addresses human needs and the systems that create that need, but does it with a clear focus on biblical discipleship.

I believe in discipleship. We cannot neglect it, but focusing on social justice is an important call of Scripture and of biblical discipleship. We will never eliminate poverty, but we can address its causes. We will never meet all of the needs students have, but focusing on human needs often opens the door for a walk with Christ. Recently, I heard Arzola say, “A tutoring hour can be every bit as spiritual as another discipleship group.” Interesting perspective.

If youth ministry is really “ministry,” should we bother with time to plan activities that are “just for fun”? Yes . . . and no.

Fun activities are essential in youth ministry . . . but they need to be the RIGHT fun activities. There are several reasons why we do fun activities, but one of the most important reasons is that they do a great job of building community among students. What builds community? Well, a lot of things, but here are a few:

1. Communities of teenagers have shared experiences. The students in my group love to tell the story of almost being killed by a tornado that swept across Florida while we were on an “amazing race” last summer. It really wasn’t as life-threatening as they make out, but the winds did get scary enough for us to take shelter in a truck stop. The story is important because it is an experience they share.

2. Communities have shared stories. One youth group I worked with used to go to this retreat center that had a cemetery beside it. Once while we were walking through the cemetery, one of the middle schoolers asked me why one of the headstones had a carved dog on top. Honestly, I had no idea, but I made up a story about how the guy buried there had a faithful dog that tried to save him from a fire. The dog failed, and was so damaged that friends decided he should remain with his master. “What you see here is not a replica of the dog, but the actual dog encased in concrete,” I concluded. While the students decided I had a worse sense of humor than they had realized, the story became a defining myth of our ministry. Every time we went back to the retreat center, they insisted we go to the tombstone and I tell the story again.

3. Communities have inside jokes. Some time ago, I started calling all the students in our youth ministry “Charlie.” We even did a T-shirt once that said our church was a place where we call you by your name–”and your name is Charlie.” When I call one of the kids Charlie and a guest tries to figure out why, they explain, “It’s just a thing with our group. Go with it.”

So, what fun activities are NOT the right kind? The kind that don’t build community. Take students to an amusement park and let them run off to ride roller-coasters with their friends from school. Meet together to eat supper. Then, meet to go home. Was it fun? Yes. Did it build community? Not likely. I’m not saying don’t do amusement parks; I’m saying make sure any activity you do gives kids an opportunity to connect with each other.