By Paul Kelly

Erik Erikson suggested that the primary task of adolescences was the development of identity. That seems likely. Most students are beginning to reflect on who they are, what they are like, what their focus on life will be. For a long time, many of us in youth ministry have insisted that one of the key issues for youth ministry is to help teenagers to build their sense of identity on what God says about them–to help students develop their identity in Christ. When students come to Christ, how they see themselves should change. They should begin to identify themselves as a child of God . . . and that should be the focus of their identity formation, right?

In the last few decades, a new focus on self-esteem has dominated the teaching of children–from their parents, their schools, television shows they watch, movies, music. Children have been bombarded with a barage of statements about how they see themselves. “You are a unique and special person,” we tell children. “Your ideas are important; your choices help to define who you are.” And a generation has grown up believing that their sense of self is the most important thing about them. It seems possible that what we as a society have fostered is not merely a sense of positive self-esteem, but a narcissism that places self at the center of the universe and disregards anything that does not affirm the individual.

So, do we in the church help teenagers to develop a more Christ-centered view of themselves? I’m not sure. We have a tendency to work as hard as our culture does at giving students an over-blown sense of their “self.” We tell students that, because they were created by God they are incredibly valuable. We emphasize their uniqueness and their giftedness.

While I don’t want to argue with the significance of being created by God in His image, I wonder if we are giving them a true biblical picture of humanity. The Apostle Paul wrote, “No one is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God. All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one. Their throat is an open grave; they use their tongues to deceive…” (Rom. 3:10-13, ESV). None of that sounds like, “You are wonderful because you are created by God!” In fact, Paul indicates there is nothing good about us. We have no reason to boast in ourselves. It is not that we were so wonderful that Jesus came to die for us. It is because we are so corrupt.

So, do we help students develop their sense of identity by telling them how horrible they are? Not at all. That is NOT how you help students to build their identity on Christ. We don’t build our sense of identity by focusing on who we are at all! We build our sense of identity by focusing on who Christ is. We are not significant because of our innate value. We are significant because we belong to Christ. We are significant because HE is at work in us, developing HIS character in us, and is using us to accomplish HIS purposes.

If we are really interested in helping students develop an identity in Christ, we need to understand that we are attempting a counter-cultural task. Our culture teaches kids, “You can’t let anyone else decide for you when sex is right. You have to decide what’s right for you.” God teaches that sexuality practiced outside of a covenant marriage is sin and degrades people. He calls students to obedience, not a personal preference. Our culture teaches adults who are considering divorce, “You cannot be happy with someone else if you’re not happy with yourself.” God says that marriage is sacred and should be honored regardless of how I feel. Culture teaches us to stand up for ourselves. God says to humble ourselves and do more than is expected.

A positive focus on a Christ-centered identity does not begin with a focus on self. It begins with a focus on Christ. Help your students to see that He is what is valuable above all things. Being a follower of Christ means sacrifice of self, not  the indulgence of it.