Archive for September, 2010

When a group of youth leaders from small churches start talking, conversation often turns to “if only.” If only we had more volunteers. If only we had a bigger budget. If only we had a gym at the church. If only we had enough teenagers to do a mission trip. If only people were more committed. If only we could be more like the mega-church down the street.

Leading a youth group with a handful of teenagers definitely has some limitations. You cannot compete with a big church in budget. Chances are, your teenagers don’t come to your church because of the triple-floor family life center complete with bowling alley, skating rink, and youth auditorium with a smoke machine. If you try to build a youth ministry on what you DON’T have, I think you are going to frustrate your church, frustrate your teenagers, and frustrate yourself.

Small churches will never compete with large churches in the programs they offer. It is true that some people are going to pass by your little church in order to put their teenagers in the big youth ministry with the smoke machine down the street. However, it might surprise you that  you have something the big church with the smoke machine may find it difficult to compete with. For youth leaders in small churches, relational ministry is not an ideal to strive for; it is the only way you exist.

If you have six teenagers in your youth group, congratulations! You can know every one of them! You can show up at their ball games, their concerts, even their practices from time to time. When you double the size of your group, that will become harder. Multiply your number by 100 and you won’t even know the names of your teenagers. Not only do you know the kids, but you probably know their parents. You can become an influence on the teenager and on his or her family just by being present in their lives. It can be overwhelming in a small church, but try being that relational with 600 kids while you are trying to figure out who fixes smoke machines.

At my church, we have more than our share of senior adults. Not many of them are up for our youth group water balloon fight, but right now one of our senior adult ladies is enlisting a senior to pray for each of our students . . .  DAILY. They will pray for the teenagers . . . AND they will connect with them at worship services, church picnics, and potluck dinners. They will have the opportunity to invest in teenagers’ lives in a number of ways that begins with prayer.

Relational ministry is not just relationships. It is also ministry. Ministry toward teenagers . . . like the prayers of our senior adults or the love our youth leaders show teenagers and parents. AND ministry from teenagers . . . like the sophomore girl who helps once a month with the pre-schoolers or the 8th grader who is being mentored to run our feeble sound system on Sundays.

Teenagers in a small church are a part of an extended family, a family that loves them and encourages them. They are able to participate in the ministry rather than being confined to the youth building. They are known and they are valued.

Don’t lament all the things you don’t have as a small youth group leader. Leverage the things you do have. And, if you really need a smoke machine for your Friday night event, maybe the large church down the street will let you borrow theirs.

Small churches can be frustrating places to do outreach to teenagers. Frankly, the thing that attracts most teenagers to a youth group is other teenagers. And, a small youth group, by definition, lacks a large group of teenagers. It can be a difficult cycle: The teenagers you have may not be excited about your group because there aren’t many of them. So, you try to reach teenagers to build a bigger group, but when teenagers visit, they don’t like the group because there aren’t many teenagers there. So, how do you do effective outreach? I think many small churches approach outreach in ways that are not likely to be effective for them. Let me suggest some questions to ask yourself as you attempt to reach out to teenagers in your area.

1. Are you reaching out to teenagers to build a bigger youth group . . . or to love them to Jesus? Some of you guys want to answer, Both. I understand your answer, but I’d like to ask you to think a little deeper about the question. Teenagers are possibly the most marketed-to generation in America. Everyone from the people who make Rice Crispies to MTV are trying to get them to watch something, buy something, use something, or be something. Savvy teenagers catch on pretty quick that the guy who is trying to sell them jeans appears to care about their “image” but really just wants to get their money. If what you really want from a teenager is to make your youth group successful, it is probably going to backfire. The more teenagers you have, the harder it will be to lovingly disciple each one. And teenagers don’t need another activity to join . . . they need to experience the love of the Savior.
2. Are you focusing on teenagers you don’t have in your group at the expense of those you do have? Yes, we are called to reach the lost for Christ. We need to be looking for ways to make Christ known. But it seems to me that Jesus spent a lot more time with his Twelve than he did preaching to the crowds on the hillside. I believe God has called you to disciple those he has entrusted to your care. And, my guess is, the most significant outreach work you do will be done by the students you are teaching and guiding.
3. Are you focusing on events or relationships? Events are great ways to engage teenagers in relationship, but if your attention is on the event you are not likely to reach many teenagers. If a guest at an event wants to ask questions, do you have time to listen and explore faith with them . . . or are you going to be so busy making runs to the store, fixing the food, organizing the games, and setting up a video screen that you don’t really have time for the teenagers. Most of the time, the answer is engaging lots of adults. If everyone takes care of one or two details, everyone has time for teens. And if everyone–youth group members and adults–is looking to build relationships, a teenager has a lot of opportunities to connect with someone.

A few weeks ago, I wrote about the process of discipleship with teenagers in a small youth group. (Okay, the process is not really all that different in a small youth group from the process in a larger youth group, but I think some of the dynamics are different.) I said that you probably work with kids at four different spiritual places. Some of them are Lost, some are Converts, some are Disciples, and some are Disciple-Makers. (I called them level 0, level 1, level 2, and level 3 kids.) The goal in youth ministry is to help teenagers move from their current level to the next level.

Of course, your group is not evenly distributed among these groups. My guess is, your youth group has more level 1 kids–Converts–than anything else. They show up at church. They give Sunday School answers to your questions. They have positive feelings about Jesus and have made a commitment to him. However, their relationship with Christ is hardly what defines their life.

So, how do you help teenagers to move from Level 1 to Level 2? How do you help them to begin to really pursue Christ as His disciple?

I wish I knew a simple formula. It would be nice to give you three steps that help a teenager move from being a worldly Christian to being a full-on disciple. I just don’t really think that formula exists. I will share a few principles that I think are important.

First, a lot of students don’t become Disciples because they don’t know what that looks like. They assume everyone is focused on what kind of tennis shoes they wear and what kind of phone they use and has Jesus to turn to when life gets really stinky. Your students need a chance to see a real Disciple up-close and personal. Ask yourself: How much of your spiritual life do kids really get to see? I’m not suggesting you invite them to move in with you, but I am suggesting that you provide opportunities for them to see you living out your faith when you aren’t at a Jesus meeting.

And not just you. What other believers do you get your teenagers rubbing elbows with? When I was a teenager, one of the biggest influences on my desire to follow Christ daily was a kid who was a little older than me. He was the kind of kid who just couldn’t get enough of God. I always assumed my youth pastor was a spiritual guy, but he was old. He was 25 or something. When I saw a guy my age living out the call of Christ, it made me think about my faith in a different way.

Second, level 1 teenagers need challenge. They have bought the status quo of faith and need to realize that there is more than consumer-driven, feel-good religion. Help them to see who Jesus really is. Rip away the Santa Claus veneer than people seem to have about Christ, and give them heart-ripping pictures of the God-man, His heart, and His mission. I think students will respond differently when they see Jesus differently.

Third, pray.The work you are doing is spiritual work. I suppose this could go without saying, but I fear that one of the biggest sins of the American church is our prayerlessness.

Finally, never give up. Students are not going to get there at the same time. Some of them are going to disappoint you. In fact, if I understand Jesus’ teaching, some of them will never get it. But, always look for the spark that will move them from being a good church kid to being a kid who is in love with Jesus.