Archive for August, 2010

By Reann Tiemann

The issue of teen pregnancy is not a new cultural issue. The complications and fears as a result of sexual activity at a young age have played a role in the lives of teens for decades. It is also commonly portrayed in classic media, such as films like “Dirty Dancing” and “Grease,” where crisis issues such as teen pregnancy and abortion are dealt with subtly in the lives and roles of the main characters.

The 1987 film “Dirty Dancing,” set in the 1960’s, reveals the issue of teen pregnancy and abortion in hushed tones, with everything taking place behind closed doors. For example, when a lead character Penny finds herself pregnant after a fling with a co-worker, main character Baby borrows money from her father–no questions asked–in order to provide the needed funds for the abortion. This film is just one of many that portrays how teens handle crisis issues on their own terms.

Teen pregnancy in today’s culture is viewed much more casually in the eyes of both teens and their parents, and is likewise considered to be quite common in culture today. There are high school teens that remain on the basketball or dance team until their third trimester, only to return to the team after giving birth. This concept is sending out an alarming message to other teens about the attitude and nature of becoming a parent in today’s world.

The statistical analysis is worrying as well, as a large number of teens are reporting a surprising rate of sexual activity at younger and younger ages. According to 4parents.gov, one in three teen girls in the United States is estimated to get pregnant at least once before age 20. Alongside this, 13% of teen boys who have had a sexual experience have gotten a girl pregnant while still in their teens. These numbers are simply too staggering to consider with the vast amount of human life being dealt with by those who are not yet adult enough to raise their own children.

It is also important to note that the younger a teen starts having sex, the greater the risk of pregnancy becomes. Of girls who first have sex before age 15, almost half of them will get pregnant. With teens reporting sexual activity at younger ages, this is becoming a factor that is largely weighing in on the issue of young moms. Likewise, girls who have had three or more sexual partners are more likely to get pregnant as well. One problem with this is that despite the research and increased awareness of these issues, this information is not being appropriately shared with teens. Of the numerous interviews held and articles written about teen moms, teens often believe “that wouldn’t happen to me.” Our teens are living in a state of mind of invincibility. In many circumstances, teens are not required to answer to any consequences of their actions and behaviors, which may be contributing to the thought that sexual activity holds no consequences as well.

Both parents and youth workers need to be certain that they are well educated on the issue of teen pregnancy, as
well as choose not to be ignorant as to the fact that it can effect all teens. Teen pregnancy begins with teen promiscuity. Parents and teen leaders need to be well educated in the rising rates of sexual activity in teens, as well as choose to be actively involved in their lives, seeking to recognize a risk level for individual teens.

Research has shown that 88% of teens have stated that it would be easier for them to avoid sexual activity if they were able to have more open conversations with their parents. As a youth worker, this creates the necessity to help parents reach this point of openness with their teens. This can include providing resources for discussion topics and taking
the time to work with parents one-on-one, teaching them how to connect with their teens. Likewise, it is essential that adults of influence in the lives of teens also encourage them to be open with their parents. When it comes to teens making decisions about their lives, there is a need for a balance of teaching and instruction alongside encouragement and exhortation.

Reann Tiemann is a student at Golden Gate Baptist Theological Seminary currently earning her Masters of Theological Studies.  She is a mother to two girls and is invested in Hillside Church of Marin as a teacher and facilitator for family and parent ministries.

By Doug Tiemann

According to a recent study (Journal of School Health, 2008), suicide is the third leading cause of death among individuals aged fifteen to twenty-four–this comprises 12.9% of all deaths in that age-range. In 2004, suicides that occurred in young adults fifteen to twenty-four represented a staggering 14.2% of deaths in this age range in the United States. Furthermore, in 2003 and 2004 this was the only form of death that increased in adolescents.

Why is suicide such a consistent and even growing trend among the young? Youth often see suicide as an answer to their problems. These problems can include family problems or academic pressures. Students may feel unable to deal with the issues of life and see this as the only release from the burdens they experienced. Oddly, a root cause of suicide for some youth may be a form of egocentrism. Kids become consumed with self, feeling every part of life is a pressure on them as an individual; in extreme examples, their response to this pressure is suicide. Three factors that seem to stick out others: parental divorce, parental separation, and suicide of a close friend or family member. These factors often lead students to feelings of personal failure and guilt.

When students are considering suicide, many will talk with friends about their thoughts or plans. Helping the teenagers in your youth group to know what to look for and how to respond can help a student struggling with thoughts of suicide. Alert your students to listen to their peers when they hear someone make statements about wanting to die or feeling like life is not worth living. Teach them to see signs of suicide, such as a friend who begins giving away his or her possessions. Most importantly, tell your students that when they suspect a peer might be considering suicide, they need to tell someone . . . a school counselor, a teacher, or a youth leader. Help them to understand it would be better to raise the issue and be wrong than to not raise the issue and be right.

Suicide is never an easy issue to tackle or to engage however; ministers cannot afford to ignore it on any level. It is a reality among the youth of America and the world but it is only invisible if the Church allows it to be.

Doug Tiemann serves as Worship Pastor at Hillside Church of Marin. He also invests his time working with the youth of Hillside, enriching them in the area of worship through music as well as sharing teaching responsibilities.  He is currently earning his Masters of Divinity at Golden Gate Baptist Theological Seminary.

It’s scary! Teenagers can attend church, be a part of our youth groups, attend camps and mission trips . . . and then graduate from high school and never show up again. It would appear they graduate from their faith when they graduate from the youth group.

Of course, this is what Jesus told us would happen. In Luke 8, he told his disciples that some of the people with whom they share the word of God would ignore it. The enemy comes and snatches it away. Some would embrace it and produce spiritual fruit. That’s the good news. But, others would appear to embrace the word, would accept it with joy, but then have it choked out of their lives. Either they never developed a good root system or they just became overwhelmed with the stuff of life.

So, is it inevitable that we will lose students from our youth group? Is it impossible to see all of our students growing up in the faith and producing spiritual fruit?

Teenagers will disappoint you. You will invest much time and love in a teenager only to watch her walk away from you, the church, and perhaps even Jesus. That is painful . . . maybe the most difficult thing we deal with in youth ministry. However, I believe we can help teenagers to (1) develop deep roots, and (2) develop priorities that place their walk with Christ above everything else.

In youth ministry we work with teenagers at a variety of spiritual levels. Quantifying anyone’s “spiritual level” is dangerous. Everyone is on a unique walk in relationship to Christ, and it is difficult to lump people together. So, I share the thoughts that follow with some caution.

1. You work with teenagers I would call Converts. Converts are teenagers who have acknowledged God and made a move toward him. They would call themselves Christians and they may be. However, they are what Paul called “still of the flesh” (1 Cor. 3:3, ESV). If your youth group is like most I know, the bulk of your students are Converts. They are level one students.
2. You also work with students I would call Disciples. Disciples are making an effort to walk with Jesus. They are ready to grow in their faith. They may or may not have much Bible knowledge, but their hearts are open to receiving it. They are level two.
3. Third, you work with students I would call Disciple-Makers. Disciple-Makers are actually using their own spiritual gifts and their experiences to make Christ known to others. They may not have a specific job, but they are influencing others to grow in their faith. These are your level three students.
4. Finally, you have Level Zero students. They are students who are Lost and without Christ. They may come to church to keep their parents happy or may show up at youth group events when invited by a friend, but they have yet to make a move toward Christ.

I think we lose so many students who graduate from our youth ministries because they graduate at Level One. They are Converts, Carnal and Worldly Christians at best. They have weak roots and are easily distracted by the world. I think the goal of youth ministry is to move Lost students to become Converts, then move Converts to become Disciples, and finally move Disciples to become Disciple-Makers.

I want to spend the next few weeks talking about how students move from one level to the next. It is messy and not easy to describe, but I believe there are some general truths.

by Eva Lee

In the 1960s, 90% of American children and adolescents lived with their biological, married parents, while today only 35% do. While the reasons for this change are complex, much of it can be attributed to the large number of children and youth whose families will be disrupted by divorce. Divorce laws changed dramatically in 1969 when California became the first state to pass legislation enabling spouses to separate without having to prove cause or harm. Within a few years, “no-fault” divorce laws took effect in most of the 50 states, thus making it possible to end marriages with greater legal ease. Currently 45% of first marriages and 55% of second marriages end in divorce.

“Since 1970, at least a million children and teenagers have seen their parents divorce – building a generation of Americans that has come of age. It bears repeating that a quarter of adults in this country under the age of 44 had their parents divorce during childhood or adolescent. Demographers also report that 40% of all married adults in the 1990s have already been divorced” (Wallerstein, Lewis, and Blakeslee, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A Twenty-Five Year Landmark Study).

We are living in a divorce world and we have to realize that divorce does affect people’s mental, emotional, and physical health.

For many children and teenagers divorce is a tragic ending of the secure, predictable family structure they have known. Divorce represents an abrupt, forced end to happy life. Divorce of  parents causes the children to feel afraid, to assume adult responsibilities at an early age, and to feel abandoned by the parent who moved away from the family. Young people often live with a mother who is emotionally unavailable while she struggles to cope with the massive changes of divorce and was often depressed. They may be without key role models or models for building positive relationships. Grown children of divorce may lack critical life skills, have difficulty coping with change, struggle to build long-term relationships, and be unable to identify and communicate their desires, feelings, and needs.

How can youth leaders help teenager who have experienced parental divorce?

1. Youth ministers can help the divorce find resources to reconstruct the family. “Family reconstruction” does not mean parents will live together again. However, parents need to develop a new structure that allows the teenager to have both parents active in his or her life. Parents need resources–which may include counselors or pastoral care–that will help them to set aside their animosity and work together for the benefit of the children. The goal is to let teenagers overcome feeling lost, isolated, alone, or frustrated.
2. Let teenagers voice their concerns.  Youth leaders can provide one-on-one mentoring programs or small groups of teenagers facing similar situations. Building friendship is key to helping an adolescent adjust to life after divorce.
3. Help to develop peer support. A positive peer group can be a great place for teenagers to feel loved and accepted. Work at making your youth ministry a place where teenagers can trust each other, can confide in each other, and can affirm each other. Lead your students to avoid cutting humor that would tear down the self-confidence of group members.

Eva Lee was a youth worker in Hong Kong until five years ago. She currently lives in San Francisco where she is a volunteer youth leader and a student at Golden Gate Baptist Theological Seminary.

Does teaching equal telling? I asked that question to a lot of youth leaders over the last month. They responded like you might. Teaching can (and probably does) include telling, but simply telling is not teaching. But if teaching were telling, the prospect of discipling the students in your group would be simple. You would just tell them what the Bible says and they would do it. The problem with teaching is that different people tend to learn differently.

Rick and Shera Melick identified four learning styles in their new book, Teaching that Transforms. I actually think what they call learning styles might better be described as learning foci (that’s the plural of focus for those of you who didn’t pay attention in 9th grade grammar). Learners focus on different things when they are studying the Bible. If your Bible study doesn’t connect with the focus of a teenager, the chances are pretty good he or she will not get much.

1. Discerners: Some learners are Discerners. They are most interested in why the passage is important. If they do not see a reason to study a passage . . . some important way the lesson connects with their lives and the lives of their friends, they won’t place much value in it. They tend to like discussions in which everyone shares his or her own perspective.
2. Constructors: Some learners are Constructors. They are most interested in the nuts and bolts of what the Bible says. If you want to capture their attention, help them to dig out the real meaning of a passage of Scripture.
3. Excavators: Some learners are Excavators. They want to understand how a concept is worked out in real life. To an Excavator, the Bible doesn’t truly come to life until they see real life examples of the concepts.
4. Activists: Some learners are Activists. To an Activist, the Bible study is just all talk until you actually do something about it. They want to put things into practice.

Actually, Bible study should appeal to each of these learners. Start your Bible study by making sure teenagers understand what the relevance of the passage is. Then, help them to dig into the truths of the passage and discover what the Bible means. Next, help them to find ways to apply the principles they dig out into today’s world. Finally, help them to come up with a plan for actually using the principles they developed this week in class. Do that, and you will teach the Discerners, the Constructors, the Excavators, AND the Activists in your group.

I’ve been living in Southern California for over a year now and finally did it. My two nieces were in town and I took them to DisneyLand. I knew the park was very old and was not sure what to expect. I’ve been to amusement parks that were in disrepair. Most of the parks I’ve been to have chewing gum stuck along the rails leading to many of the attractions. What I discovered was a park that was in near perfect repair, unbelievably clean. I think that was Walt Disney’s dream, that everyone who came to DisneyLand would feel like he or she was the first person to ever step foot in the gate.

I’m not really extolling the virtues of DisneyLand as much as pointing out the care that it takes to create excellence. I believe we should approach youth ministry with excellence. I know, that kind of statement always makes me cringe, too. How do you create an excellent youth ministry when you have a $100 budget and very little help. Here are my thoughts:

1. Make your youth room “new” every time youth come. Classroom space can get cluttered with old literature, posters from the 1970′s, and chairs that are always sitting in the same place. Look for ways to arrange the space that addresses what you will study that morning. Move the chairs from a circle to two or three smaller circles, or put them in rows. Only put things on the wall that have meaning for your students and for this Bible study. You don’t have to create a masterpiece, but give thought to what students see when they walk in the room.
2. Only plan what you can do well. Yes, if students love your events, they will want more of them. Don’t fall into the trap of saturating their desire. Always leave students wishing there were more events and looking forward to the next time you do things. If you are doing youth ministry with little help, it is a big job to plan, promote, and organize an event. Schedule a few well done events rather than many thrown-together experiences.
3. Give everything you do purpose. Too often, in small youth groups, we plan events that are just something to do. When you plan an event, think of what you are hoping to accomplish. Is this an event designed to reach out to the friends of your students? If so, you will need time for the students to buy into it . . . and time for their friends to decide to come. Is this an event to build tighter bonds within your youth group? Make sure you include things teenagers do together. Is this an event to stretch the faith of your students? Think through and plan experience to move students out of their comfort zones. The point is, all of this planning takes time.
4. Get people involved doing what they do best. Never plan the food for an event if you know someone in your church who loves to plan menus and prepare food. Never deal with organizational details if you have a worker who handles those things effortlessly. It may be hard to coordinate the efforts of others, but you can get a lot more done when people are helping. And when they are working out of their passions, the events will take on an excellence beyond what you can do by yourself.