Archive for April, 2010

Early in youth ministry, I really thought my investment would make the difference for Christ in the lives of the teenagers with whom I worked. Some of the teenagers would tell you I was important to them. But I don’t think any of them were really shaped for life by my really cool Bible studies. In youth ministry, we play a vital role in helping teenagers to get face-to-face with Christ. However, research says the faith of most teenagers ends up looking a lot like the faith of their parents. The truth is, we may have more impact on teenagers by encouraging parents to live out their faith with passion in front of their teenage children. Unfortunately, a lot of parents see our only role is to make sure their teenagers enough fun at church that they won’t get in trouble with sex or drugs. Finding ways to build up and encourage parents can be a challenge. Here are a few things to keep in mind.

1. Most parents truly love their children and want the best for them. However, a lot of them simply do not realize how vital their involvement in their teenagers’ lives is. When students come home, grunt at them, and lock themselves in their bedrooms, the message parents hear is: LEAVE ME ALONE. And a lot of parents do. Parents may simply want to keep peace in the house. Parents need to be reminded how vital it is that they communicate with their kids, that they set age-appropriate limits, and, perhaps most of all, that they listen.

2. Many parents of teenagers are in the sandwich generation. Not only do they have demands on their time to raise their teenage children–a task that seems daunting to many–but they may also be trying to help their aging parents. Add to that the physical and social changes in middle adulthood–slow decreases in sight and hearing, thinning hair and thickening mid-sections, decreases in muscle mass, and the realization that there are more years behind than ahead, to name a few–and you can understand why many parents feel stretched thin. Some youth leaders get frustrated because parents seem critical of the youth ministry. Try to hear the frustrations of parents through the lens through which they see the world. Many times, parents need encouragement more than anything else.

3. Lost parents need Christ. I know this sounds simplistic and it is not necessarily the youth ministers job to witness to every family member of every teenager who visits your church. However, your church needs to love families to Christ. The relationship you have with a teenage son or daughter will often give you a unique welcome into the home. Look for ways to care about and meet the needs of parents. Introduce them to others in your church who can continue that ministry. Be the champion at your church of ministries that will care for, equip, and encourage parents . . . whether you lead them or not.

Youth ministry is most effective when you are enhancing a faith that is being taught at home. Don’t miss the importance parents are to the life of faith their teenagers will develop.

Unless God does something to call this generation of teenagers to himself, the vast majority of them will spend eternity separated from him. That thought is chilling to me. I believe this it us to two endeavors. First, we need to pray diligently for God to move among young people. If God chooses to send revival, I believe it will most likely begin with teenagers. Second, we need to commit ourselves to slipping teenagers out of the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of light by telling them the Good News of Jesus Christ: his resurrection power to forgive sins and change the eternal destiny of all who repent of sin and place their faith in him. As we seek to tell the story of Christ, I think there are a few things we need to keep in mind about lost youth.

First, they are lost. Big surprise, huh? Lost people act like lost people. They may drink, have sex, use bad language, get into fights. It is unhealthy as well as unchristian, but it may make perfect sense to a lost teenager. If we are going to reach lost kids, we can’t expect them to act right before we talk to them, invite them to church, or love them. Remember that Jesus was willing to spend time with sinners. He didn’t condone their behavior, but he showed them genuine love.

Second, the greatest need of everyone you meet is Jesus. They may need food or disciple or love from a human, but those things are secondary to their greatest need. No one who gives his or her life to Christ will be worse off because of it. True, being a Christian may be a challenge at times, but the knowledge of Christ is so sweet that nothing can replace it. We don’t need to be shy in talking about Jesus.

Third, lost kids don’t want to be singled out. They don’t want to be put on the spot or embarrassed. In short, they are not so much different from the rest of us. Some of our approaches to evangelism may make kids feel talked down to or condemned. Smile. Laugh. Have conversations. Show interest in what interests them. And, when the Holy Spirit opens an opportunity, ask a question like: Has anyone ever showed you what the Bible says it takes to go to heaven?

Matt Horne, First Baptist Church Hebron, Carrollton, TX would like your thoughts about this question . . .

How do I get youth to bring their Bibles to church?

Please offer your thoughts as comments below. We’ll be grateful for your creative thinking.

By Nancy Hamilton

An effective youth leader can have incredible influence by placing bricks of positive influence in the lives of young women in the youth group. You may be a male leader. The girls in your group may be a little harder for you to connect with than the guys. The girls in your youth ministry have a basic core need: to be known, cared for, and loved unconditionally in relationships with parents, friendships, and godly role models. So, if you have girls involved in your student ministry, here are a few things to be mindful of as you strive to encourage, nurture, and challenge these young women:

1. Girls long for a male perceptive on matters relating to them.

As you know, girls and guys often times act and think differently about everything! Finding ways to interject godly wisdom on relationships and life direction into the lives of young women is important and crucial for them.

2. Girls long to have a healthy relationship with a godly man.

For many girls who do not have positive relationships with men in their lives, having a student minister who is focused on encouraging them to become the person God desires them to be could be instrumental in the life of a young woman.

3. Girls long to know that you care about their gender, not just the guys.

While girls in your ministry need to be ministered to and mentored by godly women in your church, creating opportunities where you as the student minister can demonstrate geninue care and concern within healthy boundaries will help young women know there’s a man who she is able to trust and desires the best for her life.

Nancy Hamilton ministers to girls and young women on the student ministry team at Fellowship Bible Church in Little Rock, AR. To find out more about Nancy’s ministry visit www.fellowshiponline.com.

“Follow me.” That was Jesus simple call to the tax collector, Matthew (Matt. 9:9). And Matthew immediately got up and followed Jesus. In youth ministry, we are in the disciple-making business. And no greater model of disciple-making exists–especially for those of us in the small church–than the model of Jesus. So, here are some thoughts on the lessons from Jesus’ call to Matthew.

1. Jesus did not choose disciples because they would have great influence on the people he was preaching to. Matthew would have been despised by most Jews who knew him. He was a collaborator with the Romans at best and a thief at worst. Jesus’ relationship with Matthew almost immediately got him into a conflict with the local religious leaders. Still, Jesus chose Matthew.Investing in students who are well-liked is easy. Discipling some students may earn you the disapproval of the church leaders and parents of other students. Our job is not to find the kids who will make our ministries look good. It is to find those Jesus is calling to a life of devotion to him.
2. Jesus didn’t call Matthew to study his curriculum or join his organization. He called him to “follow.” Curriculum is a useful tool in discipleship and affiliating with Christian organizations is usually a positive thing. But we can’t lose sight of the real call to discipleship. Kids don’t become disciples because they show up at church events. (Notice how many drop out after a few years.) Discipleship is still about the call to Matthew, a call to follow Jesus.
3. Jesus immediately involved himself in the social circles of his new disciple. In verse 9, Matthew follows Christ. In verse 10, Jesus is eating with his friends. I think that must be significant. Youth ministry does mean assimilation . . . helping teenagers to find a place in your group. But it also means investment of you and others in the ministry in loving and caring for those a new teenagers loves: family and friends.

Years ago, I was a volunteer leader at this youth camp. In the training time they told us, “Don’t worry too much about the 7th and 8th graders. They really don’t have souls yet.” Of course, they meant it in jest, but some may wonder if that is not the truth. Middle schoolers can be loud, obnoxious, annoying, and gross. But, they are forming who they are and what you do in their lives could have eternal impact. As you work with the Middle Schoolers in your group, remember . . .

1. They are just beginning to THINK ABSTRACTLY. They will struggle with deeper thoughts and will usually avoid conversations that make them feel stupid. Middle schoolers love experiential learning because it involves discovering an idea before they can give it words. Don’t just tell your middle schoolers a truth; find a way for them to experience it.
2. SEXUAL FEELINGS are new to middle schoolers . . . and uncomfortable. Most of us laugh at the things that make us uncomfortable, so be gentle when your middle schoolers snicker at anything with a remote sexual connotation. Reframe sexuality as a gift from God so special it should only be shared with one person–a spouse.
3. Middle schoolers are trying to discover WHO THEY ARE. They are making decisions that will  determine what kind of adult they will become. They tend to “try on hats,” experimenting with what it feels like to be a different kind of person. Don’t stress too much when they are trying out new styles or new attitudes. However, help them to understand that solid identity is based on Christ.

Middle schoolers are great. They love to laugh. They can be incredibly loyal (to everyone but their parents). And they travel in herds . . . which makes outreach a lot easier. Use the years of early adolescence to point them to a real, vital relationship with Jesus Christ. Capture their hearts, their imagination. Challenge them to do great things . . . not in video games, but to advance the kingdom of God. And remember, we all went through those crazy middle school years. They will grow out of them as surely as we did.