Archive for June, 2009

I have a friend who describes a lot of youth ministry as a “one-eared Mickey Mouse.” He draws a big circle–Mickey’s head–to symbolize the church, and a small circle–Mickey’s one ear–barely touching the larger circle to symbolize the youth group. Some youth ministry isolates the teenagers in order to provide programing that meets their distinct needs. While a lot of churches have managed to reach youth that way, I think it is the wrong way to build a youth ministry . . . especially in a small church. Why? Glad you asked.

1. Teenagers may not always want to be around adults, but they need adults. Older faith family members need to provide love, encouragement, and instruction to those younger than them.

2. Teenagers will benefit most from a church ministry that involves the entire family. While having Bible studies and events that are for the teenagers (with appropriate sponsors) is a good thing, the church should be rich in activities that helps families to live out their faith together. Ultimately, the family of a teenager will most likely have a greater impact on the faith development of a teenager than the youth group will.

3. Teenagers need to begin to see the church as their extended family. As they grow older, the youth group will be less important to them. If their only connection to God’s family is a youth group, they are likely to “graduate” from church at the same time they graduate from high school.

How do we avoid the one-eared Mickey Mouse?

1. Involve youth in church-wide activities. Encourage them to be a part of church fellowship times, ministry projects, and worship experiences.

2. Be strategic in providing opportunities to connect teenagers with groups of adults in the church. When you lead youth to do yard work for some of the older people, plan time for them to share a glass of lemonade and a few stories.

3. Plan some youth events that involve parents and youth doing ministry and fellowship together.

This week marks the birth of the U.S.A. Other than Eagle Scouts, most of us have not had good citizenship training. Being a model citizen has gotten a bad name recently. Most of your teenagers want to avoid the “good kid” label. Role models for students are more likely to be rock stars, actors, or athletes–those whose careers are in perfect order . . . at the expense of their private lives, their relationships, and their reputations. Maybe those of us in youth ministry need to reinvent citizenship.

This week, you might point your students to Titus 3. Paul has some guideposts for good citizens: Obey authority. Do good works. Speak the truth. Keep the peace. Put others first.

Students will learn more about what we believe about being our citizenship in this country by observing what we do than they will learn from the Bible studies we teach. They observe every choice we make. (No pressure, right?) Ultimately, good citizenship is pretty simple: Do good deeds. Work to meet your daily needs. Live productive lives. Honor God and pray for those in authority over us.

You may have serious questions about the direction of our country. You may be troubled by our leadership. But how do you help your students to see that patriotism (like everything else in their life) should be under the lordship of Christ? We will never find perfect leaders and we will never become the nation God has called us to be by waiting for the perfect politician.

The remedy is life in Christ; pass it on.

Carol Bailey is a freelance writer who has ministered alongside her husband, John, through the trenches of student ministry for over 20 years. Her claims to fame are her two daughters who have survived “the fishbowl” to the ripe old ages of 18 and 20. You can read more of their family’s tales at baileysonmission@blogspot.com.

I met a youth leader this week who brought a small group of teenagers to camp. Almost all of the youth she took were without Christ. Most were without healthy families as well. After a week of forcing kids to attend Bible studies, watching boys and girls to make sure they aren’t in a room alone together, and keeping other kids from starting fights, she was exhausted. When you are a youth leader, how do you handle it when lost kids actually respond to your invitation to the youth group?

First, let’s admit it. Working with any group of teenagers is hard work. Teenagers can be demanding, emotional, deceptive, and intimidating. Working wtih teenagers who have no background in church can be even tougher. Unfortunately, lost kids often act like lost kids. Go figure. The point is that, without people like the youth leader I met, these teenagers might never hear the gospel. While I know God is in charge and I don’t mean to dump a load of guilt on any of us, God has chosen to use us to make himself known and kids really are in desperate need of a Savior. Be encouraged. Even though it is hard, you are about eternal business and God is honored when young people respond . . . even if it’s not easy.

Second, if we are reaching lost youth, we need to double up. The one adult to five kids rule doesn’t really assume that the youth group is mostly lost. When the spiritual need is great, you do need help with crowd control, but even more than that, you need loving adults who will point kids to Christ in lots of different ways. If you are the only adult, a youth may not connect with you. The more adults that are loving a youth, the more opportunity he or she has to connect with Christ.

Third, keep the focus on Christ. I know, when kids aren’t interested in the Bible, it’s easy to try to lure them with pizza and games. Pizza and games have a place in youth ministry, but they should not be the focus of your ministry . . . even with lost kids. Especially with lost kids. Keep telling them about the love of the Father who sent his only Son to be the Savior of the world.

Finally, trust the Holy Spirit. God will show you what to do. Listen and he will tell you what to say. He is at work in the lives of the youth you touch. He can draw them. Keep praying. Keep listening. Keep trusting.

by Carol Bailey

Speaking encouraging words to teenagers usually means that, as youth leaders, we are listening to encouraging words ourselves. It may sound strange, but we won’t be good encouragers if we aren’t encouraged.

Lately, Michael Vick has been in the news . . . again; this time, for his release from federal prison, house arrest, and subsequent $10-an-hour-construction job. Atlanta Falcons coach Arthur Blank has discussed the commissioner’s stance on readmitting Vick into the NFL. The big question is: Who is Vick hanging with?

The truth is, we tend to live and act, to some degree, because of who we are allowing to speak into our lives, who we allow to influence us. It begs the question: Who’s in my head? Most of us do not have a friendship where we speak lyrics from “psalms, hymns and spiritual songs” to one another. If we do, then we would die before admitting it to anyone. However, that is God’s ideal. (Check out Ephesians 5:19.)

Youth leaders can get grief from many corners. Parents blame you for not reaching their youth. Youth tell you the program isn’t exciting enough. The pastor wants to know why the group isn’t growing faster. While we cannot control the attitudes of the people with whom we have to deal, we can monitor whom we let inside our heads.

Titus 3 has much to say about what is “excellent and profitable.” Paul’s advice as a mentor to Titus is a roadmap for checking who to hang with, who to let in our head.

The short answer? Is this relationship about “doing good?”  We willingly check the behavior of a struggling, thrill-addict, such as Michael Vick, with the perspective of distance. Titus 3:14 is the checkpoint for us: Do what is good.  Work for your daily needs. Live productive lives. Are these my friend’s values?

Who’s in your head? A true friend seeks to do good, to live a meaningful life, and to speak Truth over us.
Carol Bailey is a freelance writer who has ministered alongside her husband, John, through the trenches of student Carol Bailey is a freelance writer who has ministered alongside her husband, John, through the trenches of student ministry for over 20 years. Her claims to fame are her two daughters who have survived “the fishbowl” to the ripe old ages of 18 and 20. You can read more of their family’s tales at baileysonmission@blogspot.com.

I recently got to climb the Great Wall of China. In the contest of me against the wall, the wall definitely won. The whole experience reminds me of working with youth. How is small church youth ministry like climbing the Great Wall of China? Read on.

I’ve always wanted to climb on the Great Wall of China. I know that the original wall is nothing but crumbled ruins and the current wall is a more recent version, fully equipped with hand rails and even a ride to get you up to the wall, but it doesn’t matter. I wanted to see the wall as it snakes along the mountains in China. You can imagine how excited I was when I discovered I could make a stop in Beijing on my way to the Philippines to teach at a seminary in Manila.

At the beginning, the Great Wall was great fun. I looked down at the craggy mountains below and pictured the enemies of China flinging themselves against the wall again and again trying to invade. (Actually, all it took Ghengis Khan was a small bribe to the soldiers on the wall and they let him through.) The beauty was breath-taking. The wall was crowded with tourists snapping pictures at every possible vantage point. I padded along one section of the wall. It was a bit of a hike, but reaching the first watch tower took minimal effort. A host of tourist were gathered there and, for a moment, the Great Wall of China just became the Great Wall of People.

However, a friend and I pushed through the crowd and started down the next section of the wall. The going became suddenly tougher. It was hard to find a footing. The sun was very hot. We clung to the railing to keep from falling. The hike was no longer a tourist sport. We were actually climbing on the Great Wall. I hadn’t brought much water with me and before I reached the next guard tower I was feeling seriously dehydrated. Every step was accompanied by the knowledge that I would have to make the same steps in reverse direction.

Few tourist venture beyond the first tower and now I understand why. You have to be prepared to go further than that. As we rested at one landing, I decided I had gone as far as I could. I turned back leaving miles of the Great Wall unexplored.

Youth ministry can be a great tourist attraction. The truth is, taking a group of kids to camp or leading a few Bible studies can be fun. Teenagers love to laugh and they can be very quick to warm up to people who love them. Snapping pictures of the youth group, all smiling and having fun is great.

But, be aware that to go beyond the tourist level with teenagers is hard work. Some of the youth you work with have serious hurts in their lives. Some of them simply don’t get the whole God thing. Some of them will make decisions that will break your heart. You need to be ready if you are going to go further than the first watch tower.

Sure, you need to find training in youth ministry. You need people who are lifting you up in prayer. You need to set aside time for preparation and planning. But the most important way you can prepare is by desperately clinging to the Spirit of God and let him work through you. Like life-giving water, the presence of God can see us through the most challenging of times.

Paul Kelly is President and Founder of SmallYouthGroup.com. Beginning August 1, 2009, he will also serve as Associate Professor of Educational Leadership at Golden Gate Baptist Theological Seminary.

by Kristen McKee

Editor’s Note: This blog entry appeared on Kristen McKee’s site with The World Race. Kristen seemed to have so much to say to this generation of teenagers we asked her if we could share this post with youth leaders at SYG.

For the third time this afternoon, I close the windows to my room hoping I’ll be able to drown out the sound of Muslim prayers echoing throughout the city. A deafening loudspeaker blasts them throughout all of Batam, and it makes them nearly impossible to ignore.

To be quite frank, it makes me nauseous.

I find myself in a community where Muslims, Buddhists, and Christians roam the streets believing that their religion is something they’re born into instead of something they choose. Many of them seem religious out of obligation. It’s all about the rules.

When I review the religions I’ve encountered overseas, a drastic contrast exists between those that believe out of love and those that are religious out of obligation. The Christians I’ve met here in Indonesia are passionately in love with Christ and they don’t check their Christianity at the doorstep when they finish their Sunday service. Their faith isn’t an obligation or a game. It’s not a drain on their weekend that prohibits them from sleeping in or something that steals away their fun. It’s dangerous to believe what they do and even more so to walk it out. My friend Revelation was held at sword point (Yes, I said sword point) just for mentioning Christ’s name in a Muslim territory.
The Christians here face heartaches I could never fathom, but they laugh through the circumstances because they know the God they serve is real. They read the Bible and do what it says simply because it brings them closer to the One they love, not because the rules say they need to. They are joyful and push through hardships because they know they’ll eventually come out on top. Pastor Johannes told us that when the Bible school started, they had five packs of roman noodles for 30 male Bible students. Regardless, they laughed their way through prayers, knowing God would provide. And provide He did.
That’s faith you can’t fake.

So, what does this mean for us? It means discipline, devotion, endless joy, and sacrifice. It means that we stop caring what the world wants because we don’t serve the world. It means that when our culture tells us how normalcy and success are defined, that we throw out every definition because our Father has definitions all His own. It means that we might look crazy, and it means that we might be separated from those we love most because we want His will for our lives so badly. It means that we love our Father so much that it makes us want to obey His call.

It means we don’t just believe, but we acknowledge our need for a Savior.

Do all of these things strike us as appealing? No, not particularly . . . but we remember that He loves us unconditionally, and that is all the motivation we need to continue.

The strength that I’ve found within me since I became a Christian has been nothing short of miraculous. I could have never generated such strength had I been relying on myself. It has been the Spirit of the Living God within me. This strength makes me confident in the reality and truth that is my faith in Jesus Christ. I love Him . . . and in each country I visit, despite the doubt that surrounds the people of these nations, I am sure now more than ever that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and the only way for any of us to be sanctified before the Lord God Almighty.

Religion isn’t a game that we play with in our spare time. We are here for a purpose, and it amazes me how blind we can be to it in the middle of our American affluence. Life isn’t about self-gratification. It’s about falling madly in love with the Savior of the world. That reason is why I’m on this trip.

Kristen McKee is currently a part of a ministry called The World Race. Her team will serve in 11 countries over 11 months. To find out more about Kristen and her ministry visit www.kristinmckee.theworldrace.org.